Susan

Hey sweetpeas! I continue to live, I continue to be tired. I've spent the last fortnight or so frantically trying to make my house look less like it's managed by wolves because jilliferium was coming to visit, and then visiting again a week later when my mum came by. Didn't quite succeed, but things are definitely unpacked, there is slightly more visible floor – or at least floor visible in different places – and there was enough space for guests! Ta-daaaaaaaaa.

Visits were fun! There was much capslock, fancy donuts, and jilliferium explaining Stardew Valley to me because I've never played it. Yes I know I'd love it! That's why I've not played it! It would eat my entire life. Caught up on family gossip, showed off the SECRET FLOWER BEDS... It was was very chill! Possibly I should have been more interesting, but honestly I was just happy to see my baby sister. ONE DAY I will be as cool and thoughtful as her. ONE. DAY.

Apart from that: I've been doing more crafting! Just finished making myself some more underwear and got the elastic sewn on beautifully for a change ... So obviously I realised that I made the elastic too loose and now I have to unpick it. orz On the plus side, I've also made my first attempt at patchwork and I think it's really cute. I'm using it as a cover for a doll chair, because I realised after I finished cutting and sewing the foam I was using the upholster the chair... That I should have made the patchwork first... And then sewn it to one big square of foam... It's fine! It looks cute! It was just not accomplished in the way I initially planned!

So yeah, I am okay! Basically living this ADHDinos comic – yes, the continuing adventures of "Area woman regains ability to do things, now has too many things to do" has issued another volume, I'm working on it. Work have officially rolled out their EDI work groups, and I've managed to blag my way into one of them? I'm the only non-manager on the Connection & Belonging team, somehow? So that's going to be fun if they keep with the plan of "we'll schedule the initial get-to-know-you meeting during the busiest week of exams! (◡‿◡)"

Most importantly, I've regained my ability to both read AND consume media that has redeeming qualities! I'm mainly using it to consume trash, but that's not a surprising development. Current rating scale:

• ACTUAL GOOD SHIT: One Cut of the Dead, Train to Busan, Truth and Measure by Roslyn Sinclair, An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon (I'm only halfway through though)


• THIS IS MY HOLE, IT WAS MADE FOR ME: Jennifer's Body, Kaleidoscope of Death, nu:carnival

Anyway, I hope that this apocalypse is treating you all gently, please be safe and be well! <3

Hello my darlings! I hope you're all okay! I'm fine, incredibly tired, but that's not new. Currently I'm proceeding as though it's just regular tired instead of depression tired, but we'll see how long that lasts!

• Current state of the dayjob: the biggest drama at work is that we apparently can't convince the customers they need to keep their masks on while they're in the building. I think the most common reason seems to be that they think they're bubbled so it's fine, which... Is not how this works! If you were properly bubbled, we wouldn't be having this conversation! I ended up with a security guard gossiping at me yesterday though, and the scuttlebutt I got from that is that the uni has officially told security that they're not to try to disperse any gatherings themselves, they're just to call the police. The police, who fined students in Nottingham £40,000 for gathering in the last month. HUH. Also if we have to tell someone more than three times to keep their mask on, the student gets put through the disciplinary board for their school, AND potentially fined £250. THINGS I WAS NOT EXPECTING FROM THE UNI: THAT.


• (I am torn between whether I think this is a good plan or whether I think this is the university deflecting responsibility onto the student body to excuse the university re-opening for in-person classes, etc. ... ASK ME ABOUT MY COMPLICATED FEELINGS RE: STUDENTS WHO NEED TO LEAVE THEIR ORIGINAL HOMES VS THE SAFETY OF THE PEOPLE WITH DUTY OF CARE RESPONSIBILITIES FOR THEM.)


• I have started keeping a list of things I want to buy on Google Keep (like... Just straight pasting the links in whenever I see something I want) and I'm enjoying the way it temporarily solves my desire to spend money. Lists make the dopamine ping, and having it written down means that my brain doesn't have as much of a chance to hyperfixate on "WHAT IF I FORGET THAT I WANT TO BUY THIS THING?!" As that's what usually stops me following the advice of "wait twenty-four hours before you buy a thing so you can be sure you really want it," I'm cool with it!


• ... That said, I have bought myself new work shoes, because I'm very consistent in going on the Doc Martens website for cute shitkicker boots to wear with short skirts and coming back with ugly but practical shoes instead. orz


• I love my mum, but I spent yesterday morning trying to explain how I love her but don't want her leaving Manchester (in Tier 3 lockdown) to come to Nottingham (about to be in tier 3 lockdown) just to deliver my birthday presents, because that is not a good plan.


• Favourite Nibling somehow convinced jilliferium to video call me on Friday, so we could play hide-and-seek from different countries????? The future is weird, and hiding in cupboards via phone is fun.


• I... Want to play Final Fantasy games. All of them. At the same time. I straight up do not have time to do that, but I want to anyway.


• There's a genfic week for MXTX fandoms in November, and I don't think I've ever been targetted so specifically by a fandom challenge?


• In positive brain news, I realised today that it's been over a year since the last time I did that thing where I worked so many shifts for so many days in a row that I just collapsed at the end of it!


• Did I already tell you that I'm trying to get back into the habit of using a diary again? Because it turns out that I am still not magically able to remember to do things if I don't write them down? I've stripped everything back to basics to make it easier to take it to work with me, and it's been kinda fun to figure out which parts of my old system I actually miss. Like, turns out that the most important thing for me is having at least one mildliner with my diary for crossing things out! Because my brain doesn't process crossings out! Good to know.


• I am going to capslock about my sewing adventures in a different post, but I sewed myself a notebook cover! If I'd been thinking, I would have put an interfacing layer in it so that it wasn't quite as wrinkled as it is, or at least assembled an underlayer of felt or something that I could sew all of my fabric bits to instead of running off prayer and insufficient pins. BUT it looks cool! And it was super easy apart from the insufficient pins thing! (It was basically layering various sizes of charm packs from Japan Crafts until I was happy, then sewing it all together. Oh! And not being able to find my ruler, so folding the spine pieces a bunch of times so that I had a grid to work out the diamond shapes on.)


• I'm bringing Don't Be So Hard on Yourself back, even though this isn't a music post, because we need the reminder.

Source: me and jilliferium video-called our sixty+ year old mum today! As a nice "Hi, you've not seen our faces in a while!" treat! ... She's at the supermarket. With one of my sisters, who lives on the other side of town, because "If I didn't make [sister] come to the supermarket, she wouldn't leave the house!"

Cue me and Jill yelling "GOOD, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO!" a lot.

... My mum is like 67 and has health problems, that sister has bipolar disorder and a bunch of mental/physical conditions to go with it... And they're going to the supermarket together, rather than quarantining. What.

In related news, you remember my niece who eloped with a guy fifteen years older than her? They've both been evicted from their flat for Unspecified Reasons That Probably Involve Not Paying Rent, and are trying to come back from Florida anyway! So I'm currently angrily spamming the family chat with HERE IS THE INSTRUCTIONS FOR HOW TO APPLY FOR A VISA EXTENSION BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TRAVEL, so, y'know, that's where I'm at today.

I know I yelled about this on twitter, but it's worth yelling about again: MY TWENTY-ONE YEAR OLD NIECE HAS ELOPED TO FLORIDA WITH AN AMERICAN DIVORCEE IN HIS FORTIES THAT SHE'S BEEN DATING FOR ABOUT SIX MONTHS. SHE WAS ENGAGED TO A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT GUY IN MARCH (WHO WAS LEX'S AGE, SO OLDER THAN ME).

... I love and support my niblings in all they do, and if she's happy then I'm happy for her! I am very pro eloping and not telling 90% of the family that you've gotten married, because that's what I did! But as a family we're all kinda squinting at this guy like "Sir. SIR. EXPLAIN YOURSELF."

(And just to clarify, because I accidentally shit up one of my coworkers: she is back in the country now! If this is a weird cult thing, they have at least let her go once!)