spindizzy | I think it was the first time I saw stars on my island!

I'm stargazing in Animal Crossing, so hi internet! Keep me company while I listen for the chimes.

Non-fannish stuff!

I mentioned on twitter, but I ran out of the muscle relaxants I take to sleep at night, and that's been fun! It turns out that those were pretty much the only things making me sleep, and now that I'm a Fandom Crone, I actually needed that sleep to stop me being a zombie all the next day. I got the refills and managed to sleep last night, and miraculously could wake up this morning and do things that weren't just stare blankly into fic for fandoms that I'm not in. ... And then I burned up all of my action points leaving the house for meds and topping up t'lectric, but can't have everything.

Spoke to Favourite Nibling (3yo) on the phone and he asked me if I was on the train to see them, and I DIE. OH NO. TOO CUTE.

I've also discovered that Youngest Nephew (1.5yo) can talk now, which is weirding me out because he was still at the wiggly potato stage last time I saw him. Who authorised this?! (And his mum still visits my mum, which is GREAT because when she dumped my asshole brother I was worried we might not see her again, which is a shame because she's awesome.) ... Also Oldest Biological Niece (28yo) apparently works in carehomes now, which a) is terrifying under these circumstances, and b) ... This has completely upset everything I understood about her personality and preferences. Which isn't a bad thing, she's entitled to grow and change, I'm just very confused that either my mum never mentioned this, or if she did and I forgot it.

The current Fannish Discourse on twitter appears to be about it being unfair that fanartists can get paid for creating fanworks and fic writers can't, and I'm staying out of it as far as I can, because I am old enough to remember when mentioning fic commissions or monetising brought an immediate backlash. (I remember Irishais got a bit of censure, because they were in my fandoms and I knew their name anyway. But when I say that I'm old, I mean "I am old enough to remember when filing the serial numbers off your fic and publishing it wasn't a valid practice.") ... But also I would pay SO MUCH to be able to buy fic like they were doujinshi. Like, the idea of being able to rummage through a box of decently bound fic at a con is... Not something I want right now, because the apocalypse, but as a daydream about a less apocalyptic timeline where ridiculous decandencies might happen...

Extra fun thing I've discovered about creating with ADHD and anxiety: ideas come with so much extra pressure! Like, every cool idea has to be examined as "Is this idea fun and cool?" AND "Is this idea fun and cool enough that it will survive the hyperfocus wearing off?" Or "If I start this project that requires multiple sittings and/or sustained effort, will I remember to do the rest after I've done the first one and got that little blip of dopamine?"

This is why I don't talk about project/fic ideas very much anymore, and this is why I didn't mention anoldwomanlives to anyone for months and months! I don't trust myself to be able to sustain an idea past its initial burst, and I don't want to disappoint anyone or be the person who witters on about ideas that will never come to anything. ... I don't have a good conclusion to this point, it's just a thing that is happening that I have noticed.

Got an email about my back-to-work dates, and the current situation appears to be that the arts library is open for a click and collect service only, because they have a lot more hardcopy items that academics want access to. My library is going to be reopening for staff training at the end of September. I'm not gonna lie: I felt a bit queasy reading that, but it's still two and a half months away, so there's time for me to get used to the idea! Or for people to notice that pandemics don't go away because you want to go to the pub again and that date to get pushed back, whichever.

I am leaving this here as a warning to some of you that I'm not afraid to chase you with a feather duster if you say my friends (you) are trash.

Fannish stuff!

4thewords is doing some weird creature fusions for their July event (to coincide with Camp Nanowrimo), and I am currently confused by how they're planning to fuse a giant sandworm with a tiny green jackalope. They pulled it off with the phoenix/magic fox fusion! It will probably look cool! But also... Wut.
- NOPE NOPE NOPE THAT IS A NIGHTMARE HELLFISH COME TO EAT US
- OKAY MAYBE IT'S CUTE. BUT ALSO. THAT MOUTH.

I accidentally hit the level cap on Pokémon Café Mix, did the bonus levels, then hit the cap on the bonus levels and got looped back to the start of them again. Maybe... I play this game too much...

Current webnovel adventures: I've started reading The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System! I'm about eighteen chapters in, and I'm enjoying how meta it is! Shen Qingqui knows all of the tropes, and hates them, and just periodically BSODs over how bad the original novel was or how weird his life is. ... Also I'm enjoying how from his point of view, he is a louse! Absolutely and unquestioningly a louse! But from Luo Binghe's perspective, he is an endless stream of shoujo sparkles and tsundere protection! ... Yes, this is the sort of nonsense I am here for, I really want SQQ to live up to LBH's expectations even though I know that he won't.

(I'm currently reading this translation, but I know there's a few rolling around. I think I saw a twitter thread going around to say that there was drama about a translation being horribly inaccurate, but I don't remember which one it was! If anyone has a preference, I'm open to suggestions!)

I didn't know that the comic for The Untamed/MZDS was being officially translated! (Or at least I think it's official? But I got all of my knowledge of this through a no-context post about how ungrateful the fandom is, so ?????) The translation is a bit rough to read (and has slurs, fair warning), but the panels where Wei Wuxian gets to lounge around being weird in the background are kinda great.

Okay! Thank you for this company, I am heading to bed now. Good night sweetpeas, be well and be safe! <3

Susan