Susan

Fuck it, bring #WIPWednesday to my Dreamwidth because I have never remembered to do it on twitter, why not!

Sewing:
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On the writing front: yelling about Danganronpa, Persona 3, and Dragon Quest Builders 2 is Sure Going, but there's nothing really sensible I can pull out of that. Instead, here is bit from a Digimon fic I've been noodling on because being an adult means you're allowed to write fic for the shows you were into when you were ten. Spoilers for the end of the Myotismon arc.

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Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand that's mainly it, I think? I break up from work for the summer next week, so I'm probably going to have More Stuff to talk about when I get stuck into that. Be safe and be well sweethearts!

Hello darlings! I didn't realise that I'd dropped off the face of the internet until faintdreams messaged me to check if I was still alive, so I'm sorry about that. (I have had some variant of "Post x on dreamwidth" on my to-do list every day, and I keep forgetting that this doesn't automatically translate into you all knowing that I am fine and yelling as usual.)

I've been a bit up and down! Seasonal depression can once again go eat a wasp nest, and oh my goddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd can my family keep it together for FIVE MINUTES PLEASE, but I'm alive!

(The niece who married someone like fifteen years older than her is getting a divorce and I am SO HAPPY FOR HER! Anecdata seems to indicate that 25 is the age where people dating older-yet-less-mature creeps realise what's going on, and she's bang on target for that.)

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HELLO FRIENDS, I have survived(?) exam season, and my brain does, as anticipated, have the consistency of scrambled eggs. I've been alternating between staring into the void, napping, and playing video games that I have minimal emotional investment in, and that's it. BUT there are only sixteen twelve nine working days to go until I break up from work for the summer, so I CAN MAKE IT.

... I was gonna launch into a "what I've been up to since I first tried to write this post" and seriously, scrambled eggs for brains.

• I made a crack about not having Hobonichi money at the end of March, then went "ACTUALLY —" (I do not have hobonichi money. I did the thing anyway because I have zero impulse control.) I think I need to figure out how image hosting works so that I can talk about it properly? Or at least go "Witness the conspiracy board I made to help me with puzzle games" and "I have a normal amount of feelings about the Undertale Fish Lady."


• Oh yeah, I played Undertale over the weekend, and what the fuck.


• Probably mentioned this before, but one of the ADHD books I read suggested a rule of getting rid of two commitments before adding one, because, y'know, ADHD is a neverending refrain of "That's too many battles, put some back." I try to apply it to media as well because of the zero impulse control thing, which has... Varying levels of success. >_> But I've F I N A L L Y finished enough video games that I've cancelled out the deficit I went into during the new year's sale! \o/
  
  • Q: Susan, do you really need to do bookkeeping to manage your fun?
    A: I need to do bookkeeping to stop me buying a load of new books/games without ever finishing the old ones, so yeah!
  
  
  • Genuinely this is the best motivation for finishing things that I have. Doing things because I enjoy them? Weak. Can't always stand up against ~the depression.~ The satisfaction of making lists and crossing things off? Unstoppable.
  
  
  • That said, I used up all of my new book credits and now I have to read something I already own, which is just rude. I want to buy the new Cat Sebastian!


• Went looking for something in my old drafts, and holy shit I used to write fic. Like. Actually good fic. How.


• I can use an overlocker now! The internet managed to set the terror level of threading it about right, in that I was dreading it and now that I've done it a few times it's fine. Like. I don't wanna change colours much if I don't have to, but it's doable! So far I have only misjudged where the knife was and put ONE hole in my pyjamas. ... Also holy shit you guys, finishing seams with an overlocker is fucking magic and I'm into it.


• Started watching old episodes of The Great Pottery Throwdown. Kiln Master Rose has always been life goals/wife goals, what the hell.


• We have been cat sitting for a couple of friends! Cat is very cute! Unless Lex is in a room that she can't access, in which case she S C R E M.

And... That's it, I think? One day I'll make short posts in one sitting, today is not that day, etc etc etc. ♥

Hello friends! I accidentally spent January being a domestic demon, February being Somewhat Anxious, and now, y'know, doomscrolling. So instead of writing about any of that, I'm going to chatter about crafting because that's where my head's at right now.

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ANYWAY, thank you for your patience with my capslock! I feel like I did so much crafting, and some of it is actually useful! This is mind-blowing to me, but I'm happy about it. Next up: more underwear, then leggings.

Hey sweetpeas! I accidentally took a nap and 4tw deleted the post I was originally writing, so here is a somewhat scattered update!

• This is your reminder that you can just unsubscribe from the mailing lists that you're not reading instead of deleting them and being surprised when another one shows up. I'M JUST SAYING. IN CASE ANYONE NEEDS THAT. DEFINITELY NOT BECAUSE MY SOOTHING ACTIVITY TODAY HAS BEEN UNSUBSCRIBING AND MASS DELETING EMAILS ALL OVER THE PLACE.


• Work: Highest Management did come and visit us like they said they would! And they also held a town hall where they theoretically answered our questions! But so far that has looked like telling us that there is no number of cases/deaths that will make them close libraries (someone asked), and that the university is putting a lot of importance on blended learning and keeping services open so that they don't have to refund any more accomodation fees. Sure do feel valued!


• Had a first aid training course yesterday that I was a bit nervous about, but it was great because there was NO PHYSICAL CONTACT WITH OTHER PEOPLE. Yes, perfect, just what I always wanted. The guy running the session was very... Energetic? Lots of actions and jumping about, which works for me because I learned first aid in brownies/guides and lots of actions is just taking me back to my roots.


• APPARENTLY the reason why I've been spacey and unmotivated is chronic sleep deprivation! *shocked pikachu face* I am reluctantly solving this by napping, sometimes even intentionally, but I very much look forward to not getting out of bed before 6am anymore.


• New stickers have arrived! Currently using the dot stickers to mark 444 words, because it's the amount I need to complete my 4tw streak, and the social media icons for responding to stuff on each platform. Replying to comments also gets me a sticker, so I apologise to everyone who's gonna get a shit ton of replies in the future.


• (The shop that I got them from takes requests for social media icons, and I'm VERY tempted to ask for tiny Dreamwidth icons, but I might possibly be the only person who would buy them. Do I make the request anyway, on the grounds that I will buy a shit ton of them? And if so, should I wait until she's made the Discord, Slack, and WhatsApp stickers from the last time I asked?)


• So I have some hand-embroidery left to do for for belated xmas presents, and sithe very sensibly suggested it might go easier if I got an embroidery hoop. But I'm embroidering on fleece, so the obvious solution is getting a quilting hoop! Because those are DESIGNED to take chunky fabric! ... Guess who didn't actually parse the size of this hoop into meaningful numbers and now has a twelve inch quilting hoop to help me with three specific projects. WHOOPS.


• My brain has looped back around to "But what if I make clothes for my me!" and this is a dangerous road. I'm trying to fend off the urge to learn how to make underwired bras by looking up other people failing at it, and my heart is still whispering that it's just following instructions! Following instructions is fine, I can do that! NO, THIS IS A VERY FIDDLY SKILL THAT REQUIRES SEWING WITH VERY SMALL SEAM ALLOWANCES, STOP THAT. But it turns out that the idea of BEING PERCEIVED while making things for myself is mortifying? Even though I know that LexGarrett and sithe don't care? Fun with being fat, yay!


• Verrrrrrrry slooooooooowly going through my book stacks and getting rid of ones I don't want, because Ziffit have lowered their weight limit for free collections. ... And then of course Page 45 sent me three new manga volumes. Whoops.


• Sneaking suspicion that I'm falling back into the bad habit of "I can't go to bed, I haven't done [thing I don't have the energy to do because I'm not going to bed]" so I guess I'm gonna have to try this going to bed early malarkey. Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! BUT I hope that everyone is okay, and US friends all stay safe tomorrow. <3

Fun games to play in the apocalypse: did I sleep for fourteen (14) hours yesterday because I'm back to being chronically sleep deprived, or because of the depression? WHO COULD SAY.

(I AM FINE.)

So yeah, I spent yesterday sleeping like the dead, tracing and cutting out patterns, and making tiny pattern weights out of rice and fabric triangles. (They don't weigh enough to put any tension on anything, but they're useful for holding things in place.) This morning was a lot of playing around with my new rotary cutter to cut out pattern pieces! ... Playing very safely, I have a glove that's supposed to make it harder for you to cut your fingers off with a rotary cutter and I was careful! It'll take more practice, because I'm still not getting my lines quite right, but it's gone okay! All of my neat little pieces of fabric are incredibly satisfying.

THAT SAID: my task for next week is figuring out how to use the chacopy paper I've got, because so far I've had no joy with it. Maybe it doesn't work on patterned fabric? I dunno, further research required, hopefully I figure this out because drawing on fabric is THE WORST part of sewing. Like, "I'm so glad I have a rotary cutter and can just skip that step now" levels of the worst.

ANYWAY: music!

• Ain't That a Kick in the Head by Dean Martin — I still have no idea whether this guy is happy about his girlfriend y'know.


• Bad Luck by Neko Case — "So I died and went to work" is a mood.


• Enemies by Shinedown — One day I'm going to make that playlist of songs to defeat your best friend/most hated rival to that I keep joking about.


• Glitter & Gold by Barns Courtney — Does anyone else remember that month where everyone's fandom had new vids to this? Because that was a strange but entertaining time.


• Inside Out and Wash It All Away by Five Finger Death Punch — Look, sometimes I just need angry shouty men when I've hit the wall on a project.


• Shoog Shoog by The HU — I am slowly working my way through The HU's backlist, and this is my current favourite after Wolf Totem.

So yeah, that's been my thrilling weekend! Binged Arknights and Legend of the Phoenix, did a bit of pre-sewing, heckled Strictly, and sithe apologised for inflicting the first ten minutes of an INCREDIBLY pretentious documentary on the house by finding a shitty historical mystery series for us to watch instead. (I THINK it's called Vienna Blood? It's incredibly generic, one of the protagonists is Very Keen on Freud, there was more medical torture in the guise of treatment than I am ever really in the mood for, but ehhhhhhhhhh good enough.) Have reminded myself that I have coping strategies that I stopped using over the summer that I should really get back to, will see how that goes.

But yes, took the muscle-relaxant meds on time for the first time in 84 years, so I'm gonna head to bed. Be safe, be well, take no shit. Good night!

(PS. My current heckling is "Wait, they replaced the Black judge with the known racist while she's isolating?" because I can see a train of logic that led to that, but it's a very silly train. Also Motsi Mabuse has the exact speed and cadence as booksmugglers when she talks and I can't tell how much of my instant adoration for her came from that and how much from her being a delight. ... Also I was right, I did adore the butch one and she DID vanish immediately, which I KNEW was going to happen.)

Listen, I finally realised that I probably wouldn't be doing much xmas stuff at all this year because lockdown, my family's chronic inability to stay out of each other's pockets, and living with two people who... Don't xmas, at all, really? And then I went "Wait, no, fuck, if I'm not seeing people then I won't have that week of running up and down the country to finish everyone's xmas presents!" and thus bought... Probably way too much crafting stuff! And then spent this evening tracing patterns and flinging everything out of my fabric box because I need to start making people's presents now if I want time to post them! ... So yeah, tomorrow I'm going to have lots of fun practicing with my rotary cutter and trying to do my sewing before the housemate's skype game starts!

RIGHT, sewing adventures! I have been very roughly learning how to use a sewing machine! With all of the help and advice from sithe, forestofglory, and faintdreams, and jilliferium and words_from_law dropping tutorials on me! (I hope I've said it before, but thank you everyone! Your kindness is appreciated!) I started off with this tiny little machine, because it's cheap and runs on batteries, even if the only thing it does is straight stitch. Good for seeing if I like making things! Not much like using a real sewing machine though, which I know because sithe said that I could use his Singer Traditional, which is INTIMIDATING AS ALL FUCK. Like. It goes SO FAST! I know it's the point, but also: oh god I was unprepared.

Things that I've made so far:
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(I assume that there's a Ravelry equivalent for people who sew but don't quilt, right?)

I'm not very confident yet, but I've been having fun! So far my biggest problem has been finding enough space to spread out the fabric, because our house is... Full of crap and doesn't really have any table space? So my pattern tracing isn't getting as much practice as I'd like. But my goal is genuinely to make a skirt, because I want a maxi-length winter skirt that I can wear even with my extremely unaesthetic docs" (... Look, the ugly but practical docs get discounted more frequently than the pretty ones, okay, I am what I am.) Not figured it out yet! But if I keep practicing maybe I'll get there so that I can uhhhhhh stop covering the entire living room with my sewing shit! I've currently been derailed into sashiko (fancy decorative running stitch, I will post about that another day), so the timeline on that is a little up in the air.