spindizzy | Things that I have done today:

Stayed up to watch the Hugo Ceremony and oh BOY was that a clusterfuck. It involved George R. R, Martin devoting his entire presentation to being The Ghost of Worldcons Past and being nostalgic about racist/sexist/fascist/sex pest authors from his youth, some incredibly gross and inappropriate jokes, and pre-recorded sections that apparently no one checked for things like "Have the participants's names been pronounced correctly?" and "did the presenter remember the actual description of the category?" Greatly admired R.F. Kuang's speech because not only does she roast the entire publishing industry for being racist and sexist, she also calls out GRRM not pronouncing her name correctly in a video recorded before he did it. anoutlawlife has put together a cut of the stream that skips over the nostalgic circle-jerk that is somehow two hours shorter.

Went to bed after the fan categories. Congrats to booksmugglers and a thousand hugs to clairerousseau and AdriJjy! But also it was 1:15 and they'd only gotten through four categories in an hour and fifteen minutes, so it was bed time.

Got up, caught up on the chats and twitter about the award ceremony, and discovered that it somehow got worse after I left. Wrote a thread about how the opportunities that CoNZealand had to not make these mistakes that involved no swearing and no capslock, which I think is proof of either restraint or the degree of my annoyance, considering that I usually use fuck as a fucking comma.

Been very weepy because a) the idea that I've been batting around for the last few weeks isn't my hyperfocus anymore and this makes me feel lonely(?!?!?!?!), and b) I think my next hyperfocus is going to end up being The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System and my brain has decided that I'm never going to write anything I love as much as MXTX's work.

Discovered that no, apparently my goal in life is still to write like MXTX because my dreams have done the full cyle of "I really want to write a story that I post on the internet like all of the cool people!" to "Maybe I'll write an Actual Book" to "I should probably just stick to writing reviews" and back all the way around to "I really want to write a story that I post on the internet like all of the cool people!"

Eaten a food, took my meds, hydrated... And still decided that I couldn't wait a single minute more for a haircut, even though I was using nail scissors and no mirror.

Realised that the haircut and the weepiness might be significant and took my emergency dose of anxiety meds.

Did not pass the will save against ordering myself an ergonomic keyboard, did pass the will save against buying myself a keyboard with that lights up and has clacky buttons, because MAYBE people on my street don't want to hear me machine-gun typing at midnight. MAYBE.

So yeah, bit disappointed in the scifi ~~~~establishment~~~~, and I'm having a slightly off brain day, but I'm okay.

Susan