I swear my doctor is actually good

[spindizzy]

Right, I've been avoiding my coping strategies like the plague for two weeks, so as you can imagine I am in a little bit of a state. I've got deadlines that I was cheerfully oblivious to until about an hour ago and like, a whole 8:45-17:15 shift that I just completely forgot existed until the manager rang me.

("Did you know that you're down to work at [library] today?"
"Am I?"
"That explains why you aren't there then!")

I also went to the doctor's today! hardlyaverage was my responsibile adult, which was good because the plan was to ask my doctor if I could be tested for ADHD, and his reaction was... Pretty mild, but still "Are you sure you want that?"

I'm assuming that the reason he was a bit off about it instead of just immediately going "Yep, checks out," like he did last time I asked for a diagnosis was because a) I very obviously had anxiety, and b) in some people, anxiety is a temporary thing that goes away, whereas ADHD is a condition that you have (had) forever, so... Not wanting to toss me into a box I might not be ready for? I don't know, my attitude is very much "I don't drive so the restrictions on being able to wouldn't affect me, and knowing would help me." It never occurred to me that he'd think I didn't want a diagnosis, to be honest, right until the moment where he asked me if I was SURE I wanted one. I can't get help for a condition that isn't my file, dude, of course I want it.

But yeah, I drew a spider-diagram of what I think could be evidence, and captainraz pointed me to the questions ADHD assessments are based on, and I... Maybe went through and ticked boxes and scribbled potential evidence around it, and he's taken all of that away to look at. (Aaaaaaaaah) He's going to look at it and he reckons that if he thinks a referral letter is necessary he'll be able to get enough information from that. ... I guess that's good? He wants me to go back to the CBT people and see if they can offer me any help, and I... Don't really want to do that. I will if I have to, but I swear I'm so much happier without therapy hanging over me every week. Is it stubbornness from being discharged and going "No, I'm BETTER now"? Is it just that I didn't quite gel with my therapist? WHO COULD SAY OR DARE TO DREAM, it just made me feel like a faker because I'm terrible at doing homework.

The important thing though is that it's mostly out of my hands now. I've given him my bits of paper, I need to let him decide. hardlyaverage did a beautiful job advocating for me, and he reckons that the amount of pushback I got was about the amount I should expect from any medical professional. If I want to, I've got three weeks until my next appointment so that's time for me to go through my CBT person's website and see if they offer anything relevant. If I don't, all I can do is wait! I'm putting Gingko Biloba back into my tablet rotation, so I'll see waht happens.

... Also I well forgot that I was going to "once every two months" for my prescriptions when I got myself an pre-paid card for my prescriptions, that's awkward. Oh well. BUT I'm on my first repeat prescription, so that's nice! I'm a real person now!

Anyway, I THINK I've worked out what I need to get done tomorrow (proofreading, frantic reading, somehow trying to find time to swim AND write AND email about a shift I'm not sure I can do anymore, don't let myself get distracted doing the things that require no brainpower). I can do that! See you all tomorrow, hopefully when I've got a bit more done.

Comments

[squeemu]

I don't drive so the restrictions on being able to wouldn't affect me, and knowing would help me

whaaaaat what is this???

good luck!!! I hope you get something that helps you from all of this hard work you've put in!! and yay for having a responsible adult there to help advocate

[squeemu]

I'm not what-ing that you don't drive, I'm what-ing that there are restrictions on it if you have ADHD, sorry if that was unclear!!

[spindizzy]

Oh no, I figured! Don't worry! It never occurred to me that that was what you meant, because I'm that used to being the non-driver. :)

[spindizzy]

You have to talk to your doctor and inform the DVLA if there's a chance that ADHD could affect your driving! They can actually require you to give up your license, depending on how severely it affects your driving!

Thank you! I'm tentatively excited and definitely a little scared! But I'm doing my research and getting information from my friends who've been through this already, so FINGERS CROSSED. (My responsible adult is SUPER GREAT, he has been arguing with doctors for YEARS so he's an expert!)

[squeemu]

I'm gonna pass along some advice someone gave me which would have been really helpful if I'd gotten it in time! Maybe you already know this, though, but, uh, yeah. I did not think about it.

If they ask you questions about how your life is affected, answer them thinking about your WORST days, not your best ones, because those are the days you will need the meds/therapy/whatever the most.