spindizzy | *yawns in daylight saving time*

I am never going to get over how dizzying it is to surface from something I've been (possibly hyper)focusing on. It feels like – okay, what it feels like is sitting on the floor picking something up and going "Is this the dopamine?" No, that's not the dopamine. Pick up the next thing: "Is this the dopamine?" It's a little disorienting! I don't know what to do with all of this processing power I've freed up!

("Is playing with stationery the dopamine?" No. "Is reading manga I've had on the shelf for literally six years the dopamine?" No. "Is retagging literally every ebook I own the dopamine?" ... I mean yes, but I'm really hoping that there's an easier way to do it than editing every single ebook file individually.)

Had a one-to-one/performance review thing at work, and apparently being workshy and customer avoidant looks like being concientious and eager to take on new projects when you can't hear my decision process??? I keep throwing myself into data entry tasks and office projects, and when you don't know that it's because I'm tired and don't want to deal with kicking out students, this looks like I'm being really helpful!

It took me six months to realise that not having a couple of hours of being stuck at a desk at work without much to do is probably why it feels like I can't fit all of my writing into my day anymore. Zvarri, the truth has one again been elegantly revealed to me! It just took a little while. >_>

This week has involved more pining for old fandom shit than I expected, like ff_press and just.... Fucking fanmixes, man. I got SO MUCH MUSIC through fanmixes when I was A Teen, and now I'm so old that I don't even know where people buy music anymore. With that in mind: MUSIC!
- Real Good Feelin' by Oh The Larceny — GOT A REAL GOOD FEELING / GONNA HIT NO CEILING!
- Just Like You by Celldweller — ... I really wish I knew where my headphones have gone, because I have this on my list and the names mean NOTHING to me.
- Faster by Within Temptation — AND I GO FASTER AND FASTER AND FASTER FOR LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE~! Okay, Within Temptation are one of my Final Fantasy bands because I got into them at the same time – I think because of this specific FFX/X-2 vid, actually, wow, that still exists. ANYWAY, that is where my brain goes whenever I hear Within Temptation and I'm okay with that.

... RELATED TO MY OLD FANDOM FEELS, I remembered that someone combined every version of the The Hymn of the Fayth into one song, and oh my heart. And while I was searching for it, I found this version, which slowly layers all of the Fayth and singles them out again, and this one that weaves them all in and out and god, all of these are so good. THEY'RE SO GOOD! ... Do I need to replay FFX right now. Is that what I'm telling myself here.

ALSO RELATED TO MY OLD FANDOM FEELS: Apparently the time has come to back up my FFNet-only fic, because rumour once again has it that they're gonna close down? I just need to figure out how to do it without actually looking directly at anything I wrote, because yes I do still have the floppy disks I saved everything to (yeah, I'm THAT old!) but is that actually any easier?

Susan