Reaction Shot: My Next Life as a Villainess E09 (or, ANNE DESERVES A BETTER FAMILY)

[spindizzy]

• Anne! Her room is very dingy and plain compared to the rooms for students, which is yet another thing to add to my list of "Reasons to send the nobility of this setting to the bottom of the sea!" Like, it has nice things in it, but also Anne deserves better.


• CATARINA MADE IT TO THE NEXT YEAR OF SCHOOL! GOOD JOB CATARINA, I'M GLAD YOUR MOTHER ISN'T GOING TO GO BALLISTIC AT YOU AGAIN!


• But Catarina specifically ran to Anne's room to tell her. She didn't wait, she didn't call Anne to her – she specifically went to Anne and I for one am pleased with her for it.


• ... Wait, is this school only two years long? And it makes all students graduate at the same age that Catarina was when she died? ... Oh no.


• "I made it to my second year because I had you! You've stayed by my side, that's what counts!" Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah Anne and Catarina care about each other so muuuuuuuch! ;_; Like, her room has so few things in it, but the knickknacks and picture are Catarina or things that Catarina gave to Anne, and I am just! Verklempt!


• Like I know Anne is being paid to put up with Catarina, but choosing to keep tokens of her at hand feels like genuine affection to me, okay.


• Her friends are so proud of her!


• Anne's assessment of "Catarina is problematic but popular in certain circles" sounds like it should be written on a school report card.


• Geordo came dangerously close to threatening Anne into agreeing with him that Catarina is still scarred and GOD HELP HIM if Catarina finds out because she would start a war. She'd do so much violence. She'd shut him in a room full of ACTUAL SNAKES and throw away the key.


• Catarina: I've been hearing that you're unbelievably hot!
  Keith: ... But the person I like hasn't noticed, so what's the point...


• I never thought that Keith and Lady Claes would form an alliance over Catarina NOT marrying Prince Geordo! Proof that Lady Claes has found her chill: her desire for Catarina not to be seen being completely unladylike has won out over her desire to social climb.


• ALAN PLAYED THE VIOLIN FOR CATARINA'S PLANTS BECAUSE IT MADE CATARINA HAPPY. YES. EXCELLENT. Even Anne knows that he's in love with Catarina and hasn't realised it.


• MARY HAS MADE ACTUAL PLANS. SHE'S DECIDED THAT SHE'S UNFIT TO BE A PRINCE'S CONSORT, SO SHE'S GOING TO RUN AWAY TO SEA WITH CATARINA. SHE'S EVEN FOUND A PLACE FOR THEM TO RUN TO! ... But apparently Catarina hasn't figured out that she's not joking. I guess on the plus side, if she DOES get exiled, she can always ask Mary for advice! ... Or Mary would go into exile with her, let's not even pretend about this.


• I think Anne's assessment is that Catarina has the emotional intelligence of a rock. Fortunately, this is the primary trait I look for in all of my favourite protagonists.


• NICOL DOESN'T EMOTE OR REACH OUT TO PEOPLE FIRST... EXCEPT FOR CATARINA.


• Sophia is in love with Catarina, but also she knows that her brother is in love with Catarina and is trying to matchmake for him! ... It's not gonna work, Catarina is just going to be further convinced that the siblings love each other a lot.


• MARIA EXPRESSES LOVE THROUGH FOOD, WHICH MEANS THAT SHE IS PERFECT FOR CATARINA.


• ANNE HAS A SCAR. THIS IS GOING TO GO BACK TO THE "SCARS MEAN YOU'RE EXCLUDED FROM THE NOBILITY" ISN'T IT AND THEN I'M GOING TO HAVE TO FIGHT SO MANY FUCKING PEOPLE.


• Pyjama parties sounds like doing what they normally do, but in pyjamas.


• Catarina: Why don't you have a boys-only pyjama party!
  Geordo, who hates Keith:
  Keith, who hates Geordo:
  Nicol: ... Talking about boy stuff?
  Alan: Sounds fun.
  Sophia, who was DEFINITELY fujoshi trash in a previous life: *___________________*


• WHAT EVEN IS "BOY STUFF." I AM AN OLD WOMAN AND GENDERED TOPICS OF CONVERSATION BAFFLE ME. ... I blame this on my being an old woman, but I went to an all-girl's school, the fuck do I know about teenage boys.


• Catarina, how do you have so many sets of pyjamas. Do you have an aunt who doesn't know what to get you apart from pyjamas? ... But I like the top of her blueberry pyjamas, those look perfect for a night in playing video games.


• Anne: You look lovely, but isn't there anything else?
  That's the most diplomatic way of saying "Please don't wear that" that I've seen in a while.


• WHY DO YOU HAVE GLOW-IN-THE-DARK FAIRY LIGHT PYJAMAS.


• Catarina, who has been obsessively monitoring the love-lives of the people around her for seven years: WHO HAS A SWEETHEART?


• Their pyjamas are all very cute though.


• Catarina are you seriously going to leave Anne standing attendance all night? Because that's just rude.


• "What would you do with your sweetheart if you had one" is not a neutral question when literally like seven people are in love with Catarina.


• SHE WANTS TO MAKE THEM A MEAL OUT OF THE VEGETABLES SHE'S RAISED, THAT IS SO WHOLESOME. AND MARIA WANTS TO MAKE SWEETS FOR THEM AND COOK FOR THEM, WHICH IS WHAT SHE'S DOING FOR CATARINA RIGHT NOW (NOT THAT SHE NOTICES). I WANT ALL OF THE FIC OF CATARINA AND MARIA MAKING EACH OTHER DELICIOUS FOOD, OKAY, OR MAYBE JUST TASTE-TASTING EACH OTHER'S TERRIBLE FOOD UNTIL THEY GET GOOD AT IT.


• Mary: I want to be ridiculously co-dependent or at least eat and bathe with them!
  Everyone but Anne: *DIES*
  Mary: ... And we could trade dresses!
  Catarina: You wouldn't trade dresses with a boy, would you?
  Mary: *is genuinely befuddled by the idea of having a partner who is a boy*
  Catarina: *has three (3) girls who regularly tell her how much they love her* *is befuddled by the idea that heterosexuality isn't compulsory*


• Mary not being able to think of anything she'd want to do while spending time with a boy is such a mood.


• SOPHIA JUST WANTS TO RE-ENACT ALL OF HER FAVOURITE ROMANCE NOVELS AND I LOVE HER. THESE ARE ALL SUCH GOOD SCHEMES, I WOULD READ ALL OF HER ROMANCE NOVELS.


• LEAVE ANNE ALONE.


• Good work on changing the subject there! ... Also I think I missed it the first time under Sophia's recitation of romance novel plots, but was that Mary saying she'd want to be reincarnated as "a man of higher social standing than Prince Geordo" because if so: OH MY POOR SUNSHINE.


• Baron Shelley is scum. Like, Anne's mother was a MAID, so I'm prepared to fight for her honour because there is no way that was a safe relationship for her. Anne being expected to keep herself folded away and silent to keep the baron happy: further proof that he's scum! (Dead mother warning! I guess it's a fantasy setting with teenage protagonists, someone had to have a dead mother.)


• IF THE ENTIRE HOUSE WAS ON FIRE, THEN QUITE FRANKLY GETTING OUT OF THERE WITH ONLY A SCAR ON HER FOREARM WAS PRETTY FUCKING IMPRESSIVE YOU TRASH-GOBBLING SHITEWEASEL! HOW DARE YOU KICK ANNE OUT OF HER ONLY HOME BEFORE THE EMBERS ARE EVEN COLD BECAUSE SHE'S NOT USEFUL TO YOU IN A POLITICAL MARRIAGE ANY MORE?!


• Please assume that any time Baron Shelley appears, I am angry raptor screeching and calling for him to be driven off a cliff into the sea. OVERTHROW THE BOURGEOISIE AND THEIR ABUSE!


• Seriously, Anne lost her mother and her home in one night and became a maid. She was FIFTEEN, oh my god I am going to eat the rich.


• I think this means that she's only eight years older than Catarina then? Does that sound right?


• Oh, she's ALSO a distant relative of Duke Claes! I'd quite like fic of her and Keith bonding over being abandoned relatives taken in by the Claes family, although I'm pretty sure I'd need someone to explain to me why Anne was a maid and Keith was family. Maybe he's more closely related than she is?


• LOOK AT OG!CATARINA BEING A BRAT, THIS IS A BLAST FROM THE PAST!


• Anne learned how to be a person with feelings and emotions of her own through being thrown in at the deep end with Catarina, who loves people and can't help being kind and enthusiastic. ;______________________________;


• CATARINA GAVE ANNE HER FIRST BIRTHDAY PRESENT. I AM GOING TO EAT BARON SHELLEY SLOWLY.


• THE GOBBLING DICKCHEESE HAS THE NERVE TO WRITE TO ANNE AFTER THROWING HER OUT OF HER ONLY HOME TO DEMAND THAT SHE GIVE UP HER LIFE TO MARRY SOMEONE BARON SHELLEY PICKED OUT FOR HER. GET TO FUCK!


• I want to fight someone.


• Catarina using the bare degree of manners necessary to go NO, I LOVE ANNE, YOU CAN'T TAKE HER AWAY FROM ME even though all of the things she's saying are clearly a small child going I NEED HER TO LOOK AFTER ME.


• ANNE TELLING HIM TO LEAVE HER ALONE! DUKE CLAES VERY POLITELY TELLING BARON SHELLEY TO GET FUCKED! I APPROVE OF ALL OF THESE SHENANIGANS, YOU ARE ALL GOOD BEANS WHO ARE TRYING YOUR BEST TO DO THE RIGHT THING.


• Now for something completely different: Geordo and his very confused boner.


• This is DEFINITELY a trap. Is he really sure that Catarina wrote this note at all? Really?


• I like how he gets like ten seconds into his fantasy of Catarina confessing her love for him and then goes "No, wait, this is Catarina we're talking about." Even in his daydreams he can't picture her being romantic!


• I'm honestly surprised and kinda pleased that he's decided that giving her a romantic gift would be less effective than getting her a very practical gift that she'll actually use.


• (... How did baby!Geordo manage to co-ordinate so well that all of his memories of running around with Catarina only only them and Keith, not any of the other people from Catarina's life?)


• Hey look, it's the first time I've liked Geordo, and it's because he's giddy over giving Catarina a gift!


• CATARINA YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WARN PEOPLE WHEN YOU WANT THEM TO COMMIT TO MANUAL LABOUR FOR YOU. ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE GOING TO PUT THEM IN UNIFORMS FOR IT.


• ... Everyone heard her complaining about her shears and bought her replacements. None of them suspected a thing. Bless these poor babies for not realising it's a trap.


• But I guess! Harvest day is important to her! And now she's got her important people helping her with it! Only ecause she can't do it on her own I MEAN WHAT.


• Again, nice season transition there!


• What the fuck, why are the bully girls surrounding Catarina and declaring that they're going to expose all of her "evil deeds"?! Have they found her Secret Catarina book? Have they faked something? Is this just them going "You are hoarding seven of the eight most attractive people in this school and we demand justice!" NO WAIT YOU CAN'T END THE EPISODE THERE, COME BACK —