[Fic] Madoka Magica/One Piece // Wastage

[spindizzy]

Some days I'm not trash. On OTHER days, my brain goes "... Sanji and Kyoko would get on GREAT, they'd eat forever and snark at everyone and have this tacit understanding about never talking about the starvation days and always having at least a month's worth of food in storage" and I go "Holy shit you're right."

This one is somewhat stilted because I was having real trouble actually getting the words for what I wanted to say, but I'm working on it.

Madoka Magica/One Piece // Wastage
G | 529 words | Kyoko, Sanji | Mild spoilers for both of their backstories. | Don't waste food. Really, really, don't waste food.

"Who could eat this slop?!"

The entire kitchen screeched to a halt as every single pirate chef turned to look at the customer. He was standing by the window, holding his plate in one hand and his nose in the other. His sneer was loud and exaggerated - a performance of disgust. His men put their heads down and started shovelling food into their mouths at speed - they at least had eaten here before, and while they wouldn't go against their captain, they knew what was coming.

"This food isn't even fit for humans! I would be doing your customers a kindness by throwing every one of these meals into the sea!"

Sanji started to make his way through the dining hall as the idiot ranted, his progress slowed by customers. But someone else was ready to deal with this: the girl at the next table stood up so fast her chair clattered to the floor. "Don't waste food!"

The pirate actually froze, his performance interrupted. "What did you say?"

The girl was tiny compared to most people in the room, but she glared at him with the fury of a grown woman. "I said I'll kill you if you waste food." She reached to her belt, unhooking a set of folded rods attached there. She started to unfold it, revealing a wickedly sharp spear tip at one end.

Around the room, there was the sudden shifting of pirates and naval marines all grasping weapon hilts.

"It would be against a chef's honour to let you kill him for us," Sanji said. "But you're right, food should never be wasted." So he snapped his foot straight up in the man's chin.

The pause around the room was silent and stunned, exactly long enough for Sanji to take the (still untouched) plate away. Once it was safe, he bared his teeth around his cigarette and kicked the idiot straight out the window. There was a short cry, and then a splash. The other pirates at his table threw money down for their meals and ran out - presumably to rescue their captain, although no one would have blamed them for leaving him.

Conversations rose up around the room again. The girl slowly refolding her spear, her eyes still focused on the plate of food in Sanji's hands. When he looked, her own plate was completely clean, not even a smear of meat juice or a grain of rice left. Her whole body was trembling, leaning into the smell in a way that he would have bet was entirely unconscious. For a second, Sanji felt the ghost of starvation sink its claws into his stomach, the need to hoard his food almost choking him. And then it passed, just a ghost long gone, and he was able to relax his grip on the plate he'd rescued.

Sanji set the pirate's plate down in place, then pulled out a chair. He bowed over it to the young lady and gestured to the meals left on the table, both untouched and half-empty. "Whatever you'd like. With the complements of the chef."

The girl offered him a sharp fanged grin and dug in.