[Fic] Transistor - Knots Around The Heart

[spindizzy]

I may have a problem. My problem might be feelings about this stupid game. ... Don't ask me how this led to 400 words of Sybil-centric bitterness, because I don't know. It was going to be a drabble, but it got away from me and I'm probably going to have to write a better version for great justice and sense-making. On the plus side, now that I've excised this perhaps I'll be able to think about something else!

Transistor//Knots Around The Heart
G | 400 words | Sybil->Red, Transistor->Red | Second person narration, spoilers through The Empty Set | Sybil would wait for Red for as long as necessary, if there was anything for her to wait for.


Everyone else has cleared out of the Empty Set, but you have stayed. In your seat, at first, clutching your parasol and hoping that Red would notice you, and then by the stairs down from the stage in the hopes of catching her as she leaves. You have events lined up tonight, events that need you there, but you need her there.

She's been too hard to get hold of lately, pulling away from you as quickly as you can reach out. You can't leave without inviting her.

Your heart thrills as footsteps sound along the walkway above you - then drops as the wrong person says "Hello again, Sybil." His tone is cold enough that you're half-surprised that there isn't ice crawling up your dress. "Red's not taking visitors right now. She's rehearsing for the next show."

How dare he? is a pulsing refrain in the back of your mind, freezing your tongue with pure affront. He think Red won't care that you waited, that she won't come to you after her rehearsal. How dare he keep Red from you? How dare he come between you like this, presume like this -

Red starts to sing, and your thoughts stutters out.

You can't see her, and her voice is unaccompanied, but you still turn your face to the stage and let her voice wash over you like sunlight. She's singing something you don't recognise, and oh, but you'd stay and listen to her all night if she'd let you. If there was no one in the way.

You open your eyes - you hadn't realised that you'd closed them - but he isn't looking at you. He's looking to the stage as well, and his smile is so soft and adoring that you can't bear to look at him. You don't remember ever seeing him smile in your presence before.

You don't remember ever seeing your own feelings written so clearly on someone else's face before.

Tonight, you will give Red's name to a select group of people. You will be meticulous in your presentation; your poise unshakeable and your confidence unquestionable.

Now, you are none of those things. You're clinging to the arm of a man you hate, letting him support your weight as you realise why he's been keeping the object of your adoration from you. Together, they've ruined you.

How dare you how dare you how

Comments

[thebaconfat]

ugh, this is heartbreaking and horrible and fits the game so well.

Everyone else has cleared out of the Empty Set, but you have stayed. In your seat, at first, clutching your parasol and hoping that Red would notice you, and then by the stairs down from the stage in the hopes of catching her as she leaves.

This captures that feel so well, of so painfully wanting to be noticed by That Person.

How dare he? is a pulsing refrain in the back of your mind, freezing your tongue with pure affront.

And I love how you get across Sybil's voice, her civility and self-assurance covering up the seething, circular crazy underneath. I just get this really complete image of who she is and of how little experience she's had with rejection.

You don't remember ever seeing him smile in your presence before.

You don't remember ever seeing your own feelings written so clearly on someone else's face before.

So perfect and heartbreaking.

You will be meticulous in your presentation; your poise unshakeable and your confidence unquestionable.

I love this line, how carefully it's constructed and how articulated it is and the contrast between that and what's happening right now.

So good.