spindizzy | I started this post in April and only finished it in June

Happy seasonal depression new years for April! I celebrated by being confused by daylight saving time and tidying up my living room like an adult.

Okay, so, haven't posted since January, because 2024 has been a wild ride already!

My uncle died at the start of February. You don't need to condolences or anything, we weren't close, but my mum was upset and that was what we were all focusing on.
- God the funeral was fucking bleak. There was a point beforehand where I was like "Did our Barry have friends?" and the answer appears to have been no. The only people at the funeral were us lot (the siblings, the nieces, my other uncle, the cousins), and every single one of us was there for my mum, not him. Even the person doing the eulogy was like "He lived a very private life," because we could give her nothing of what he did when he wasn't hanging out with my mum.
- BlackXanthus came along to support jilliferium, because, y'know, first time being in a room with these clowns in like ten years, and I accidentally word vomited the crash course in our family drama. It was very "Okay, so Jill's told you about [x], right?" "... No." "OH." I'm sorry!
- (I've likened me and Jill to Persona social links before. You need to get Jill to level 9 social link to unlock her tragic backstory, and it's all very mysterious and stuff. Me, I am on the "You unlocked this social link! YOSUKE WILL NOW DIE FOR YOU" end of things and I'll give my tragic backstory to fuckin anyone who shows a bit of interest, I ain't shy.)
- Jill, repeatedly: I'm not starting a fight at the funeral!
  Me, repeatedly: It's okay, the funeral doesn't start for another twenty minutes.
- So me and Jill were explaining to a couple of the nieces how we had to draw a diagram to try to work out how many niblings and great niblings we have. I keep getting like thirteen, Jill gets fifteen, the actual number might be eighteen, there are a LOT of niblings.
  Niece: Oh my god, there's too many people in this family, we need to get rid of some!
  Me: ... [Niece], we're on our way to a funeral...?
- My hijabi niece started to explain to me what keema rice was and I'm genuinely there like "I know I'm the most basic white bitch in this room, but come on!"
- My uncle's house was depressing on its own, but jesus christ my nan died in... Fuck, when was Beast Wars on tv, I want to say 1996? 97? And her room was still untouched. Wardrobes full of her clothes still. Bits and bobs still on the dressing table. That was fucking bleak.. UPDATE: IT GETS BETTER – APPARENTLY THE HOUSE WAS STILL IN HER NAME.
- EXTRA EVEN BETTER UPDATE OMFG: Okay so the funeral plan my uncle had, if you don't need all of it to pay for the funeral, they'll give back the funds right? Except that when my mum was trying to sort it out, the person on the phone came back with "Okay, now we just need your brother to authorise the transfer!"
  
  ... My mum told me this and I legit shrieked "HE'S DEAD???????????????" down the phone at her. And then asked whether they had a preferred medium for the séance or were we just cracking out the ouija board. Omfg what is WRONG with that company????

As part of visiting my mum for the funeral, I finally got to learn things about my grandparents! I'm thirty-four years old and didn't even know their names until this year, but now I know that my mum's dad was a boxer and a mechanic who worked on planes during WWII and swore he got torpedoed in Malta, and after the war he worked on a racecar and his boss took him and the car to Silverstone. My nan was a... I can't remember the word, but she was a computer operator in the ATS. My mum found a bag of photos of them stuffed under the sofa in my uncle's house, and now I know what my grandparents looked like!

(I also looked up my dad's family on Ancestry because free trial gets you document access, and I legally don't have a grandfather on that side. The only name on my dad's birth certificate is his mum's. Like, I always knew I didn't have a granddad on that side because of the family lore, but it's weird to have that confirmation, I guess?

The family lore is that his mum was having it away with an american serviceman after her husband died in WWII, which made it REALLY AWKWARD when her husband came back. But I know her name now too! Her name was Elsie. And I feel weird knowing that, like she's suddenly a real person who existed even though I never knew her. Ugh.)

Lost a month mainlining the subs of Digimon, because it turns out they're on crunchyroll now! My impression is that the jokes are funnier in the subs, but the dub music is 1000% better. And the characterisation feels a bit more consistent across the series, but that could just be because they're not having to delete anything that could even hint at Japan so the script isn't getting gutted.
- Random thing: Taichi's dragging Hikari out when she's sick is somehow more heartbreaking in the sub because he specifically goes out to play with her, when in the dub he's going to play with his friends and takes her with him so he can babysit.
- THERE'S AN EPISODE WHERE PUPPETMON JUST CRACKS OUT A FUCKING GUN.
  
  I'M NOT JOKING. PUPPETMON'S LIKE "OH, WHAT SHOULD I USE TO KILL THE KIDS? I KNOW! A FUCKING .44 MAGNUM. WHAT SHOULD I GIVE THE SIX YEAR OLD TO MAKE THIS INTERESTING? AN SMG!"
- WIZARDMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON! GATOMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON! ;_____; THEY LOVE EACH OTHER YOUR HONOUR.
- Still not over how much less frustrating it is to watch as an adult because my brain goes "Ah yes, of course they're being idiots, they're ten."

Accidentally got into cross stitch so my stims this year are apparently cross stitch and hidden cat games. Sure! Not gonna question it! Just gonna cross stitch psyducks and D20s to my heart's content!

Work have basically cancelled all extra shifts for everyone, which is really awkward when we're chronically understaffed. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ It means that most of the part-timers have lost about £300 a month, so understandably none of us are happy.
- They knew it was happening in December, but none of the actual procedures or formally notifying staff happened until a week before it rolled out in April. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
- Instead of extra shifts, people are being sent to do their shifts at different libraries. Which would be fine, except that there's no slack for people calling in sick, so you end up with this huge shuffle of "X has to go from Library 1 to Library 2, but Y is ill so Library 1 is down a staff member, so we need to get Z in from Library 3 to cover at Library 1 —" I don't mind working in other libraries, the way they're doing it is bollocks though.
- Grandboss said he was going to make a spreadsheet tracking how often we're at or below minimum safe staffing, so I've been emailing and my managers every time it happens. :) For his records. :) There have been weeks where I've emailed him four days out of five! :) And days where he's gone "Look, what do you want me to do????" and I've had to explain very politely to a man making four times my wages that I need him to take over ringing bosses and finding cover so that the staff in the building can do our damn jobs. :)
- So far every time grandboss has complained about being CCed into these emails, I've been told by the other grandboss to ignore him and keep doing what I'm doing. And had some success with going "I thought you needed this information for monitoring purposes, is that not correct?" and seeing if grandboss' got the balls to tell me in writing not to give him the information he needs to do his job.
- Goooooooooooooooooood there was a series of "staff roadshows" where they were like "Oh, let's explain the reasoning behind this and how it was handled!" and I very bravely asked Highest Management what they were going to do to rebuild trust after they omnishambles that was how they dealt with rolling this thing out. Not in a badass way, in a "Speak your mind even if your voice shakes" way. And a new member of staff came up to me after was like "Oh, that was such a brave question! Most places I've worked, no one would ask that in case it got in the way of their upward mobility!" and I was so good and did not say "What upward mobility."

I am so tired all the time. Like full-on "there are days where the only thing keeping me concious is my ADHD meds." How did I swing so thoroughly from "insomnia" to "narcolepsy" without stopping to pass go or collect £200.

Shout out to Meguru Hinohana because discovering that Therapy Game was a sequel to Secret XXX cured my reading slump. She was my favourite BL mangaka anyway, she didn't have to give me 7+ volumes of guys going "Yes I know my feelings are irrational why are they still happening" but she did it anyway!