*sings The Phantom of The Operaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa obnoxiously off key*

[spindizzy]

There's an official stream of The Phantom of the Opera for the next twenty-four hours or something, soI have now seen The Phantom of the Opera! I have SO MANY QUESTIONS!

• That "Perhaps we may frighten away the ghost of so many years ago, with a little ILLUMINATION!" leading directly into the doom chords that's all I know Phantom of the Opera is EXCELLENT. Good intro, I don't understand why the framing device of the auction is necessary, but sure, go off I guess.


• ... I wasn't expecting the theme to be this metal, tbh. I've only heard this techno remix. (Did you know there are a LOT of videos of this mix, but surprisingly few where no one is murdered!) Like seriously is there actual electric guitar here? Because I wasn't expecting that. Plus the song makes so much more sense now I have the context of "She's his mouthpiece, she sings his words."


• Someone has written the essay about the metatextual nature of Christine being a mouthpiece of men in terms of her character and her role, and I don't think I can be bothered to look for it right now.


• I love that the woman in charge of the dancers can summon silence with a single tap. She is hardcore and I love her.


• I have no idea who this blonde lady is but I think her name is Meg! She appears to be into Christine and really wants to see her succeed just because she likes her, not because she gets anything out of it! She also appears to know a lot about the Phantom. Like, if someone who isn't Christine says the words "the Phantom of the Opera," it's her. Always her. She knows how to get to the Phantom's lair. She's the one who seeks him out after Christine and Raoul escape. She's the last person we see on stage. Who is she and why is she important?! Like, I know she's Madame Giry's daughter(?), but that doesn't explain all of it!


• I do love the staging. The smoky river of confusion! The way that Christine's first performance as a singer ends with her taking her bows and applause from a different audience! The way that they use the actual theatre they're in as part of the theatre in the show! (I love it when plays do things like that, except when it's horror plays, because then it's fucking terrifying.) And the costumes are gorgeous!


• I knew that the plot of Phantom of the Opera is "Random basement dwelling weirdo stalks opera singer," I didn't know that she was into it. Like literally I saw readingtheend tweet a joke about Christine orgasming over his long notes just as I started watching, and maybe she wasn't actually joking???? Because there is a whole section there when I'm pretty sure she would have been very into the Mysterious Sewer Angel Who Taught Her To Sing, right until he flipped out at her for taking off his mask.


• (Bless Christine's heart but I have questions about how this arrangement of taking singing lessons from a voice behind a wall started happening. And I have even more questions about why she thought this was an angel from her father, and if she told the Phantom about it which is why he keeps using it.)


• ... The implication of this staging is that she can sleep through an organ but not a music box???????


• "Those fools who run MY theatre" says Sewer Dwelling Weirdo who is apparently paid by the theatre. Also I quite like all of the theatre managers, even though they're undoubtedly terrible. And I really want to know whose idea it is to keep staging "And then the female lead cheats on her husband" operas when the soprano is definitely chasing after at least one of the shirtless dancers.


• ... I swear one of the dancers said "Does he have a nose????" during the panicking about the phantom while Christine's missing and if someone did they are the most valid human being in this show.


• My dude you are basically setting yourself up to be murdered. Like, that's not foreshadowing, that's not Chekhov's noose, that's basically just sending up a flare saying "This backstage guy? He dies." (Me during the play where the phantom doesn't get his way: ... Oh, yep, there he goes.)


• My issue with the Christine/Raoul duet is that it sounds surprisingly triumphant considering the beginning is her basically going "I WILL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT AS LONG AS YOU MAKE SURE THE PHANTOM DOESN'T GET ME" and basically asking him to commit to all the shit the phantom promised to. Like, I don't judge for for latching onto him! I kinda judge him for going "Yes, this is exactly the situation in which I want to get engaged to a woman who I have seen maybe twice in the past x years."


• ... I genuinely thought this duet was the prelude to Christine and Raoul fleeing into the night never to be see again, but no! YOU'RE GOING BACK INSIDE?!


• ... Wait I thought the chandelier drop was the end, wtf. Does she not go ambigously missing when the chandelier drops and then no one knows whether she's dead or alive with the phantom?


• I like the masquerade, but whose brilliant idea was that?! Are you trying to give him cover or just flip him off? Also, Christine's dress is lovely but needs a mask that's harder to remove. ... And possibly a better accessory than Raoul, the most oblivious man alive, who asks his fiancée stupid bloody questions like "What are you so afraid of?" when she's back in the place where a dude stalked her, lured her into his lair, and dropped a chandelier on her.


• But the way that everyone freezes when the Phantom's music starts, and no one turns around! That I liked.


• My consistent and solid opinion of this musical is "Man, Raoul sucks." Like, maybe he has character somewhere, but it seems like every time he has an opportunity to respect Christine's wishes, he says no and tries to convince her to do the opposite. My dude. Come on.


• RESPECT TO CHRISTINE FOR GOING BACK AND FUCK EVERYONE WHO FORCED HER TO DO IT. ALSO SERIOUSLY HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE TO DIE BEFORE YOU JUST GIVE THE BUILDING UP AS A BAD JOB AND LIGHT IT UP ON THE WAY OUT.


• Okay real talk, I don't understand how Christine hasn't noticed that it's the phantom under that hood? Because it's... Blatantly the phantom. He's written a horny opera that lets him kill an actor offscreen while no one notices, come on stage wearing a hood, manhandle Christine and have her flirt with/attempt to seduce him. HOW DID HE THINK THIS WOULD WORK WHEN SHE KNOWS WHAT HIS VOICE SOUNDS LIKE?!


• Is he literally just singing Raoul's part of that other song. Is he trying to convince her to marry him with what worked for the other guy, when what actually worked for the other guy is "I am terrified and have no one to protect me but you?"


• I TOLD YOU IT WAS HIM!


• I am very confused by the number of musicals (... and books, and shows, and pretty much all forms of media) where a female character goes "This man is a father figure to me! ♥" and the character she's talking about comes back with "... Yes, but also I want to bone you."


• The phantom's backstory is very "Cool motive, still murder." Like, I know the real enemy is the conventional beauty standards we made along the way that turned him into an object of fear and derision to be displayed like a pet, but, like... The fuck. Also it's weird to think that every time someone decides to run The Phantom of the Opera, someone has to decide "What is a plausible level of disfigurement that can be hidden in a half-mask and yet be noticeable enough that it can be seen from the back of a theatre and account for the Phantom's backstory." Culture is fucking weird.


• Okay, no, I knew one other thing about The Phantom of the Opera, which is that one time I was playing the Fate/Grand Order game and got a weird drop!
  Me: ... Why does the Phantom of the Opera count as an Assassin?!
  sithe: ... Because he's an assassin? "Keep your hand at the level of your eye?"
  Me: WHAT.


• So yeah, apparently in the book the Phantom is a Sewer Dwelling Assassin and I have no idea why that didn't make it into the musical because "I'm being stalked by an assassin who wants me to sing for him" is infinitely creepier. And would explain the "keep your hand at the level of your eye" thing that Raoul COMPLETELY FAILS TO DO.


• Ugggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggh this dilemma of "choose me or he dies!" I know that the intro with Raoul at the start was supposed to trick us into thinking "Oh wow, she DID run off with the Phantom!" but ugggggggggggggggh. I'm booooooooooooored.


• (Listen, real talk: there are men who are aesthetically pleasing, but somehow all men are improved by the correct mask. Science cannot explain this.)


• (Science CAN explain this, even I can explain this, but we all know I'm right.)


• I WANT TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON WITH MEG SO MUCH OH MY GOD. Like, sithe has lent me the book, because he has Opinions about trying to find a decent translation on Gutenberg, but seriously if it doesn't explain Meg I'm gonna be so irked.


• I mostly skipped over the Andrew Lloyd Webber thing, but look! That's Blind Mag! Sarah Brightman! ... Man, I am still amazed by how the people making Repo! The Genetic Opera managed to get a really good cast for their schlocky splatterpunk b-movie. And the old guy's Jean Valjean from the Les Mis reunion DVD! Wait, I've just check IMDB, was everyone in this also in Les Mis? But also, Sarah Brightman versus five different phantoms is kinda cool.


• Anyway, long and short of it is that Christine is such a good actress! And the actress playing her is good too, which you can tell because otherwise this would be an absolute muddle. Like, I have a lot of questions about her, but the actress is so good at showing how much joy and fun she has with her work when it's not being aggressively sabotaged.


• So I have Consumed a Culture now, and I am... Very confused? Like, it wasn't bad! There were some good song! I just somehow managed to come out of this more confused than I went in!


• Like, what I want is for Christine to poach the Girys and open her own theatre, or at least to leave this theatre and run away with Meg or something. I don't know, I am just pro her having a life and career of her own with no one trying to jumpstart it by holding a theatre hostage.

Comments

[sweet_sparrow]

Why did you tell me about this. Now I won't sleep at all because I'm too busy having my life consumed by music.

(Sorry, I cannot engage with your excellent fun reactions because I have music IN MY BRAIN and I can't concentrate on anything else.)

[bookgazing]

Had to record this off an arts channel because missed the stream (why is it 48 hours availability for the US but 24 for the UK?) & saved this to read after watching it. Super interesting reaction & I have a bunch of thoughts but commenting from my phone so just gonna agree about the whole 'what is up with Meg' section for now. Watching it fully made me want to reread Pratchett's Masquerade btw.

Agree, and also...

[stranger]

I'm not sure the Phantom play-or-musical *ever* makes sense, for many of the reasons you set forth. I didn't think the book made sense (but I was reading a translation, for what that's worth), in the same way 19th century novels mostly don't, that is, everything happens for a moral reason instead of any vestige of logical action. Also, it reads like a ghost story, or the author wants you to think so -- maybe Christine's father has returned as the Phantom? maybe he hasn't and that's the gotcha? -- which adds to the complete lack of logic. Also, why is Paris apparently built over an inland lake? Doesn't Paris have a lot of cellars and crypts and things underground?

All of which means you can do anything, so long as you sing it*, and the musical takes advantage of that sterling principle to sing, and play the Ominous Organ, to the audience's heart's content. Enjoy the costumes! And Masquerade is maybe the best thing to come out it.
* Anna Russell said this first, but it's still true.