Reaction Shot: Charlie's Angels (I AM VERY GAY)

[spindizzy]

Hey so I watched Charlie's Angels and my heart has grown three sizes.

• The fact that Sabina SAYS "Did you know that it takes men seven seconds longer to recognise women as a threat?" and everyone just keeps watching her strangle their boss is great.


• Not gonna lie, I was assuming that everything about Elena's story arc was going to squick me, because fish out of water humour IS NOT MY THING, but... It was mostly bearable! Maybe it's because she's trying so hard? I don't know!


• They have a character explicitly ask for consent before doing the whole "Pop your back in a weird way and immediately make you feel better" thing! That never happens!


• PS there are only three men who are shown to not be trash, and one of them is dead. Also WHAT A CRIMINAL WASTE OF DJIMON HONSOU.


• Oh, I was expecting everyone to be dressed as Elena, but they're all dressed as some other poor woman, bless her. (Also, I do not feel bad about Ralph. Maybe that makes me a bad person, but also, PFFFFFFFT to him.)


• Langdon being more bothered that Jane put her mouth on his mayonaise than that she's rigging up rudimentary explosives is kind of a great touch. Especially because he HELPS HER DO IT and hides her costume for her.


• It's so refreshing that the only time the male gaze is used is when it's Australian Johnny gazing dreamily at Sabina. LOOK AT THIS, YOU CAN IN FACT MAKE A MOVIE THAT PREDOMINANTLY STARS ATTRACTIVE WOMEN WITHOUT BEING SKEEVY! (I will allow that maybe Sabina is sometimes viewed through the queer female gaze, but real talk how often do we get that AT ALL?! And speaking of queer female gaze: I am very here for Sabina double-taking over how attractive the woman at the gym is.)


• What I have learned from this is that most of the time when I go "Ah yes, that man is visually pleasing!" what I mean is that he has tattoos and a nice suit, and I'm not actually into any other part of him. Also it turns out that the only place I actually recognise the actor from is Hannibal gifs, so good job facial recognition part of my brain!


• JANE'S CONTACT IS A DOCTOR WHO LOOKS AFTER UNMARRIED MOTHERS AND PROVIDES CONTRACEPTION AND HAS NO TIME FOR ANYONE'S SHIT AND I RESPECT HER SO MUCH.


• I cannot express to you how much I adore Sabina without just going "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" really loudly a lot. Like, Jane is the stoic badass with a squishy caramel centre and a moral heart, and I love her, but Sabina. She's so casually queer and flippant and competent and amazing and good at people, omg. And also Sabina throwing down with guys while wearing half of her jockey costume is pretty cool.


• Jane is so competent and extra. *_*


• I am really glad that Elena got to punch a guy in the face before the film made any jokes about her fighting prowess.


• Does anyone else get Indiana Jones vibes off that fight? I can't think WHY I have those vibes off the quarry fight, but I DO. Is it just because a guy gets mulched?


• JANE CRYING OVER SABINA AND FINALLY ADMITTING SHE HAS AN EMOTION AND SABINA JUST BEING THERE LIKE "I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T LIKE ME. BECAUSE I'M ANNOYING." AAAAAAAAAAAA.


• Me: f!Bosley being the traitor is a little too obvious, so where are they going with this?
  Film: Patrick Stewart's evil.
  Me: FUCKING WHAT?!


• They fucking COLLAR ELENA like she's a PET.


• The Saint isn't angry, he's just disappointed.


• The douchcanoe's insistence on his plausible deniability makes me want to fight someone. Especially him.


• The part when Jane and Sabina sneak into the party and immediately join a synchronised dance with no prior communication makes MUCH MORE SENSE once the reveal happens.


• Jane and Sabina throwing down together brings me so much joy. Especially because they're both so good at it.


• Good straight romances in movies that came out in 2019: 1. Jane and Langdon. End of list.


• "If RBG can do this jump at 89, so can you!"
  "RBG is an angel?!"
  "Forget I said that!"


• Does having Ronda Rousey and Laverne Cox in the same movie cancel them out to trans neutral? Because I'm pretty sure Ronda Rousey has been openly transphobic before.


• "Gimme my wings." WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

2019: The year we take classic fandoms and rub our queer female gaze all over them and there's nothing that the (allo, cis, straight) men can do about it. \o/

Comments

[oracne]

I want to see this!