Reaction Shot: 镇魂/Guardian 1 (or: ZHAO YUNLAN, STOP THAT)

[spindizzy]

Right, I think I've been the infection vector for at least three people on twitter, so it's time to bring it to Dreamwidth. Guardian is a CDrama based on a webnovel, and it is... Very Variable in quality. I love it, but I would like to remind you that my love does not actually imply anything about the quality of a show. AS LONG AS WE'RE CLEAR ON THAT, let's go! It is all available legally and subtitled on youtube – episode one is here! but the sub quality is ALSO Variable.

What you need to know is that it was originally an urban fantasy BL series with one of the protagonists being the reincarnated love interest of the other, but the censors apparently decided that the supernatural stuff would not fly, so it's now a Super Het series set on another planet that's suspiciously close to Earth, and there is somehow no reincarnation but ten thousand years of Eternal Pining and loyalty anyway, and also the censors say it's a bromance but the actors are going HARD so, y'know, I know who I'm betting on. There are people with magic powers living underground! There are oblivious people living on ground level! The protagonist works for the police on a squad of various magical weirdos (including a ghost, a shapeshifting cat, a snake lady, a puppet-wielding murder vector, and The Other Guy) as they try to catch people commiting magical crimes! (Was it disgracetoscholars who said their role was basically to be magical ICE? Because I don't want it to be true, but it's also KINDA TRUE.) There is someone in a black cloak who is DEFINITELY JUST THE ENVOY TO THE UNDERGOUND CITY and DEFINITELY HAS NO CONNECTION TO THE LEADER OF THIS SQUAD, IGNORE THE MAN WHO KEEPS TURNING UP SUSPICIOUSLY AT CRIME SCENES, THIS IS FINE.

... There is so much slow-burn pining okay, this is genuinely fine.

(lazulisong wrote a better summary over here.)

• I actually really love the opening song for Guardian, which I wasn't expecting when I first started watching it.


• And what I forgot until I watched the intro again is that the special effects are Bad. Everyone is doing their bests and having fun, but also the CGI budget was non-existant. Bless this ridiculous cheesy show!


• Okay, right, apparently the not urban fantasy explanation of how all of the magic stuff happened was that ten thousand years ago on a planet that the subs have translated as Seastar, aliens arrived!


• For some of them, their DNA combined with that of plants and creatures on the planet, which means that they blend into the world and have their appearances/abilities/can shapeshift into the things in question. Those are demi-humans, apparently?


• The other faction of aliens are called Undergroundians in the subs (I am not kidding and don't understand enough Chinese to know if that's a literal translation of Dixingren or what.), who... Live underground... Where there was apparently a "chemical reaction" that increased the rate of mutation to the point where people just developed one specific superpower of their own? But the people underground are vastly outnumbered by the people overground, so no one cares.


• Oh Christ I forgot that the literal actual plot of this is that there have been a lot of meteor strikes that have somehow destroyed all of the natural resources underground, so everyone who lived there tried to migrate to the surface where there, y'know, is enough food and stuff. Cue: off-screen war, peace treaty, and definite peace that is definitely going to last.


• ... This would probably have made more sense if they'd not had to make it aliens, I'm just saying.


• ... I do actually like the painted bit of this introductory monologue, I can't lie.


• I'M SURE THERE IS NOTHING OMINOUS ABOUT THE CREEPY MUSIC KICKING INTO GEAR AS THE PROFESSOR TURNS AROUND AND SMILES. SURELY THIS IS FINE.


• Wow, launching STRAIGHT into the aliens. Okay, Shen Wei.


• HOW ARE ALIENS RELATED TO MUTATION SHEN WEI, THAT IS. JUST. WHAT. I guess it worked for seeing which of the students were paying attention, but... Wut.


• ... Is this precious nerd wearing fucking sleeve garters because I swear to god I am losing my ability to can.


• I think it's kinda cute that he's got Li Qian working the powerpoint for him. (... Do TAs get paid? I think in the UK PhD students get paid a little and in the states they're chronically abused, but I don't actually know about China. Or Dragon City on an alien planet, either, I guess.)


• (I have no memory of if he's actually bad at tech or if he's just being charming to get the kids to like him, but honestly I like both.)
  
• "You are the future of biological engineering" says a professor to someone who opened their lecture with out of context ALIENS.


• Okay, so apparently Shen Wei's professor's field of study is information engineering and biological engineering (although WHO COULD SAY with these godawful subs), which explains at least half of what's going on in his plotline, but also I really want to know if the information engineering bit is correct because HI THAT IS RELEVANT TO MY INTERESTS AND I WANT TO ROAST THIS DUDE'S COMPETENCE PROFESSIONALLY.


• Someone on twitter pointed out the significance of this guy having another amazing student that he wants to introduce Shen Wei too and I AM YELLING because oh my god there was actually set up for something??? This early on????


• Bless Li Qian, she looks so worn and out of it, and I understand WHY but also auuuugh someone please look after Li Qian. ... Is Shen Wei the only person looking after Li Qian right now, because noooo.


• The obligatory "The genetic variations that you're talking about have already happened" speech is infinitely funnier when you know that Shen Wei was the expert on this stuff before Professor Ouyang's family line was even thought of.


• Professor Ouyang's speech on how he's persuaded lots of people to join him just sounds like he's a low-level mafia goon. Which again, makes sense, but also DUDE THIS IS A CAREER OPPORTUNITY, NOT A MOB HIT.


• (I wonder why Shen Wei went into teaching in the first place? Is it ever mentioned?)


• Enjoy this one shot of Dragon City, because you'll see it A LOT.


• I was CONVINCED that this was the set up for the murder of the week when I first started watching it, but nope! That's just what Guo Changcheng is like. ... I don't like Guo Changcheng, I'm sorry, I know I'm not supposed to like him and I'm supposed to root for his gradual growth and change throughout the series, but I can literally point at the minute that Guo Changcheng becomes interesting to me and it's not until the last quarter of the series. Then again, the same thing happens with Lin Jing so apparently I'm just not into doofuses?


• ZHAO YUNLAN YOU ARE STUPIDLY PRETTY AND A BAD MAN. I KINDA LOVE YOU.


• He just grabs Guo Changcheng by the hand and drags him around! And like, puts an arm around his shoulder in the least friendly way possible! ZHAO YUNLAN WHY ARE YOU A BAD MAN?


• (I totally missed Li the first time around, so when he showed up later I was like "??? Who are you??? Have you always been here?" SORRY MR LI.


• WHY ARE YOU GETTING GUO CHANGCHENG TO UNWRAP YOUR SWEETS FOR YOU. IS IT BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT HE'S GOING TO RUN AS SOON AS YOU LET GO.


• I think there's a moment everyone goes through when watching this of "Oh, okay, the lollipops are a permanent fixture, OKAY," and a certain proportion of us never recover.


• (In the books, Zhao Yunlan hasn't just quit smoking, so GOOD WORK CENSORS you somehow managed to make this MORE SUGGESTIVE than if you'd just let him have cigarettes.)


• ... Did you literally have him report at midnight for dramatic effect.


• SHE HAS A TAIL, and sometimes forgets to put it away! (When the budget allows!) He is a cat! He's a super saiyan (and happy with it!)! She's a ghost!


• "You always screw it up at the crucial moment," OH, OH NO, I UNDERSTAND NOW. OH THAT IS SUDDENLY SIGNIFICANT.


• OH NO, this is what I thought was happening with Guo Changcheng nooooo why are you subverting a thing and then playing it straaaaaight I ask, like I don't know and it's not an effective dramatic technique.


• I JUST FIND SEQUENCES LIKE THIS REALLY CREEPY FOR OBVIOUS REASONS.


• "You must find that we are passionate, steady and friendly." SIR. SIR.


• Times Guo Changcheng has fainted: 2


• "He's the nephew of Minister Guo!" Oh, it's nepotism, cool! I wonder if anything is ever going to come of that plotline.


• Grumpy cat! <3


• I am distressed by how pretty Zhao Yunlan is. And by the fact that even when he's smiling he looks ready to kill a man. This is horrible, I love it.


• ZHAO YUNLAN WHAT IMPRESSION DO YOU MAKE ON CASES THAT THE REGULAR POLICE THINK YOU NEED TO BE COVERED IN ORIENTATION.


• ... Did they badly shop in the cat there?! Does this mean they were only allowed to use the cat indoors?


• "I think she was murdered." BRILLIANT DEDUCTION.


• ZHAO YUNLAN YOU SHOULD ALL BE WEARING GLOVES AND WHAT DO YOU GAIN FROM THE ROOKIE TOUCHING CORPSES WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU YOU WEIRDO.


• (I really dislike the vomiting thing, okay, this is not funny to me.)


• ... Is he using a lollypop as a measuring stick. Is that what's happening here. Because I get WHY he's doing that, but also ZHAO YUNLAN.


• Seriously the fuck is up with the fingers.


• WHY ARE THEY DANGLING THE ROOKIE OUT OF A WINDOW.


• Wait, did you not suspect it was underground people from you actually being called in? Seriously?


• Shen Wei: *walks in on this madness like ???*
  
• Shen Wei: *stares dramatically at Zhao Yunlan*


• Zhao Yunlan: ... Shit, someone saw me bullying the minister's nephew.


• Cat: *gets scritched by the Black Envoy and doesn't even know it*


• OKAY BUT I'M PRETTY SURE SHEN WEI KNOWS THAT THE CAT IS PEOPLE THOUGH.


• ... Oh, apparently Da Qing doesn't usually let people give him scritches, it's just that Shen Wei is magic. (That cat looks SO disgruntled by the entire thing.)


• SHEN WEI'S FACE WHEN HE LOOKS UP AND SEES ZHAO YUNLAN SMILING AT THE CAT, THOUGH.


• That tiny smile when he introduces himself, oh god I'm dying, help.


• Zhao Yunlan: Shen Wei?
  Shen Wei: !!!!!!
  Zhao Yunlan: Nice name!


• Shen Wei forgetting to let go of Zhao Yunlan's hand is just *chef's kiss* And the way that Zhao Yunlan just leaves his hand there for a few seconds after Shen Wei pulls away is excellent.


• Oh, his business card has the name Mark Stewart on, okay!


• He looks like he has a treasure, wow.


• Li Qian just banging into everyone because she's traumatised by last night is a good touch. Also, the clip of the murder is actually effectively creepy, probably because it's maybe a second long.


• ZHAO YUNLAN, INTRODUCE YOURSELF BEFORE YOU TAKE PICTURES OF RANDOM STUDENTS YOU WEIRDO.


• Although she was very low for the murderer to be dangling her out, surely.


• ... Also if the murderer was looking for ONE SPECIFIC THING, surely they could have realised it wasn't there BEFORE murders happened?!


• I keep forgetting that the cat is the Deputy Chief of the department, and also that he's a thousand years old, because he looks like a baby.


• Da Qing: *STARES IN AMNESIA*
  Shen Wei: *stares in the opposite of that*


• Shen Wei just rocking up to rescue Li Qian from the fuzz is really nice. I assume it's NOT just to stare at Zhao Yunlan.


• Zhao Yunlan just casually dropping in how suspicious it is that Shen Wei isn't reacting to the corpse is pretty good.


• Every time I see Shen Wei say anything about being an ordinary person I just want to remind him that ORDINARY PEOPLE DON'T NEED TO KEEP REMINDING PEOPLE THAT THEY'RE ORDINARY.


• "What are the unexplainable things you know, Professor Shen?" Look, I can't help it, it just sounds like he's flirting with a suspect.


• Technological revolution ten thousand years ago? Wut? ... Is that when the series said the aliens crashed?


• Shen Wei providing a scientific (with however many scare quotes you feel necessary for that) answer in response to a rhetorical question is peak him.


• ... Jesus Zhao Yunlan, can you just – the lollypop – um —


• WHY IS SHEN WEI ALWAYS THE MOST SUSPICIOUS PERSON. WHY DOES HE KNOW ALL OF THESE MURDER VICTIMS. STOP THAT.


• In my head, Shen Wei is very hands off – he likes very few people, and is touchy with even fewer – but now that I'm watching this again, I'm actually wrong about that last bit! He does touch people, just usually when they've done something like fall off a building or have chronic depression. (Is Shen Wei more comfortable with people than Zhao Yunlan? Because Zhao Yunlan always gives this impression of being hands-on but not emotionally invested in anyone, so...)


• Da Qing staring at Shen Wei is pretty great.


• GUO CHANGCHENG YOU ARE ARE THE WORST AT THIS.


• I feel really bad for Li Qian's grandmother, because she's stranded and confused and everyone's pretending that she's not there! Which I guess is understandable because they don't know she's in distress rather than just yelling at them, but...


• Guo Changcheng is a good boy. Not bright, but good.


• ... Guo Changcheng did you just throw a bread roll at a shadow-man who was robbing an old lady with dementia? Because that's simultaneously sweet and stupid.


• OH GOD I FORGOT ABOUT THE PUPPET. I DON'T KNOW HOW, I DON'T USUALLY, BUT THERE IS A FLYING PUPPET IN THIS SCENE AND GUO CHANGCHENG IS JUST LIKE ??? PINNOCHIO ????


• I think the puppet it more disturbing because it has a face. And the face is more disturbing because it's smiling. If it was a completely blank face, then it would just be like one of those pose references you can buy, but wearing clothes, and that would honestly weird me out less.


• Chu Shuzhi: *DRAMATIC LEAPS* *CONTROLS PUPPET WITH MAGIC POWERS* *GENUINELY LOOKS TOO COOL FOR THIS SHIT*


• Seriously kudos to the actor for selling it this well, because I know it's silly but I LIKE him punching the shadow dude. Also, let's be real, he has a GREAT murder face, he looks SO HAPPY to be trying to kill someone.


• Also, Chu Shuzhi and Zhao Yunlan both have the comfiest looking clothes. I would wear any of their outfits if given a chance.


• Man, I love seeing the ways different languages can convey relationships and respect and formality just through how people are addressed. Like Guo Changcheng immediately and fearfully correcting to Chu-ge (Which the subs translate as Brother Chu, but I remind you that the official subs are kinda word salad and best used to give you the context of what's being said than the content), or the way Japanese can show intimacy just through who gets to call you by your name (This also gets me in historicals), or the difference between tu and vous in French. These are all really cool linguistic tricks that can't necessarily be replicated in English! I think they're cool! I also think that I would be TERRIBLE at learning them, because English has prepared me for nothing.


• And I love that Zhao Yunlan is allowed to actually be smart and pick up on obvious things like "OH, the murderer was after Li Qian!" because I've seen SO MANY MYSTERIES where the outsider has to pick up on everything like that.


• Zhao Yunlan: See, Chu doesn't blame you!
  Chu Shuzhi: HA.


• Zhao Yunlan is SUCH a bullshitter, and also I love that he and Da Qing have a relationship where they can lie on each other on the furniture and kick each other when they're being dicks.


• SHEN WEI WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET THAT FILE?!


• OH NO I DIDN'T REMEMBER THAT THERE WAS A FLASHBACK HERE, OH NO.


• JUST CASUALLY SHOVING A LOLLYPOP INTO SHEN WEI'S MOUTH LIKE IT'S NOTHING, SURE. ALSO KUNLUN IS VERY PRETTY AND I HATE IT.


• Ten thousand years! Poor precious creature Shen Wei waited for him for TEN THOUSAND YEARS, and we get flashbacks to Kunlun's dramatic final moments and this is all terrible. Especially because I saw the episode that explained this stuff and THAT WAS ALSO TERRIBLE.


• ... They have a date? Oh no. ;_;


• Li Qian deserves so much better than all of this nonsense at her university.


• The uses of reflections reminds me of something, but I don't know what – that used to be a really common thing in crime dramas and thrillers over here (c.f. the Granada Sherlock Holmes or Carol for examples), but I have never found the explanation of WHY it was such a thing. I should look that up at some point.)


• He's so melodramatic and concerned about his bonus, dammit Lin Jing.


• Zhu Hong feeding Lin Jing cat food and then telling him that he'll get in trouble with Da Qing for eating his cat food is next level brattiness.


• Christ she looks so tired, bless her. Even when she's smiling at people and trying to do her job.


• This bit fucked me up the first time I watched it, because shockingly BEING A CARER IS HARD WORK. And she's running herself fucking ragged here as a solo carer/full-time student, AND feeling bad about snapping ;______;


• Sir, please stop lounging on your motorbike like that.


• "Are they monsters too?" is a hell of a question to ask about the people you're hoping will solve the murder before it gets to you.


• "The real monster is in everyone's mind" Well this got a little more abstract and philosophical than I was expecting tbh.


• Oh Li Qian, honey, don't.


• (PS I really like the minor key instrumental version of the opening song they use.)


• Shen Wei running interference on Zhao Yunlan is nice. Especially for how pleased he looks to be pretending to be normal.


• They are both talking in circles around each other, which is impressive to try to follow in bad subtitles. But the reveal that Shen Wei knows that the Dixingren exist is nice mainly because of how INTENSELY he's doing the "BLAND MASK OF POLITE AFFABILITY FOR DAYS" thing.


• Zhao Yunlan: To be honest, I feel like we've known each other for a long time already.
  Shen Wei: *SUDDENLY SERIOUS*


• (Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah)


• YOU GUYS STOP INTERRUPTING.


• None of you are dressed for this, seriously.


• Maybe Guo Changcheng needs a torch so he doesn't freak out and die in the dark? Maybe?


• What on earth is he scraping off the walls?


• I TOLD YOU, FREAKING OUT AND DYING.


• Li Qian, you are not okay.


• Shen Wei's face when he sees her necklace is pretty great, even if the prop itself does not look so good. Or the shadow dude sneaking up on them.


• LI QIAN YOU WILL BE OKAY, DON'T BE SCARED


• "I don't have a phone, you call him." Oh noooooooo.


• Can it... Teleport...?


• (Do you ever feel like Zhao Yunlan has great customer service skills? Because I feel like he has expert fake smile skills.)


• WHERE DID THE MURDER GLOVE COME FROM. IT'S A FINE PROP, BUT WHERE DID IT APPEAR FROM BECAUSE IT WASN'T IN THE LAST SCENE.


• Yeah, Li Qian's reaction is about the same one I had. I'm glad that Shen Wei at least tries to reassure her. ("I won't let it hurt you," he says, and I for one believe him entirely.)


• But how is the shadow guy making the lights flicker.


• HOW DID YOU KNOCK IT OVER THAT HARD WITH A ?PAINTING? HOW DID YOU GET ONTO THE ROOF WHEN IT'S IMPLIED THAT YOU WERE NOT IN FACT ON ROOF LEVEL. WHAT IS HAPPENING.


• He has an appropriately murderful face, that's GREAT.


• OH I was wondering why he let himself get thrown off the roof, and it's because he saw Chu Shuzhi arriving! OKAY that makes more sense!


• (I LIKE WATCHING CHU SHUZHI THROW DOWN OKAY, IT PLEASES ME. THE SHADOW EFFECTS ON THE INVISIBLE GUY ARE BAD AND SHOULD FEEL BAD, BUT CHU SHUZHI IS OKAY.)


• Awww, he has a cute zigzag shaved into his head.


• Lin Jing just there with his phone recording everything. Whoops.


• WHY CAN THE ENVOY STOP TIME.


• The best part of the Black Envoy is that his costume must be the EASIEST COSPLAY IN THE WORLD. I think I could get all the bits for it from Hobbycraft and I love it.


• Okay, so this is the first time that Zhao Yunlan has met the Black Envoy. Cool, this is good to know for the future. Also, everyone else is like "Holy shit, the Black Cloaked Envoy!" and Zhao Yunlan's just like "Did you forget how to get here?!"


• HOW HAS HE JUST STRAIGHT UP FROZEN THAT GUY. HOW. I KNOW THE ANSWER IS MAGIC, BUT STILL.


• Guo Changcheng grabbing Chu Shuzhi's arm and trying to hide behind him is pretty nice. Also, bless his heart for trying to stick up for the icicle despite having no idea what's going on.


• (MY FEELINGS ABOUT GUO CHANGCHENG ARE COMPLICATED AND DEPEND ENTIRELY ON HOW MUCH HE'S THE COMIC RELIEF IN ANY EPISODE. WHEN HE GETS A SERIOUS MOMENT, HE'S REALLY SWEET AND KIND AND I'M COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THAT.)


• Zhao Yunlan stepping in! GOOD WORK TERRIBLE SUPERVISOR.


• Seriously his mask looks like it was badly painted with black latex paints.


• Man, eveyone's just like "Stop him? HOW WOULD WE STOP HIM?" Also it's interesting that they have the ability to arrest people but not actually enforce any punishments, because that seems kinda... Against the point of arresting people...? Do they just not have any laws that cover non-humans apart from "DO NOT EXIST HERE PLSKTHNXBAI"? What did they do if they had any problems before the series started?


• "Where is Professor Shen?" ... Oops.


• That was a beautiful "Oh god I knew I'd forgotten something!" face.


• ... I don't believe it, the episode actually ended at a sensible, logical point for an episode to end! Whaaaaaat!

Comments

[forestofglory]

Susan what have I gotten myself into?

It's pretty hard for me not to watch the show with current US politics in mind and think that the state of Haxing/Dixingen relations is pretty awful. But I wonder how it plays in a Chinese context where the context of imagration must be quite different.

Shen Wei has taught me that professor style is international. At least he doesn't wear jackets with elbow patches. But sleeve garters? Seriously? Also how does his academic career even work?

I have a lot of feelings about Like Qian.