"You don't want to interrupt people —" "No I do, that's the problem."

So, I had an appointment today with a specialist to get assessed for ADHD! And the guy decided that... He was confident saying that I did?

I'm kinda in shock at the moment, because I genuinely didn't dare let myself even hope that it would happen, but he did! I apparently have ADHD! It hasn't sunk in and my anxiety is kinda going "I can't believe that you LIED to that NICE MAN about your brain so thoroughly that he diagnosed you!" but hardlyaverage and Lex are both being very patient about me grabbing them and going "He SAID IT, right? I didn't mishear him? That was definitely a thing that he said?"

I'll be getting a report through the post in a couple of weeks, that I'm to pass on to my GP, and I'm supposed to arrange for an ECG and blood pressure and for the results of a blood test I did a while ago to be sent to them so that they know that I'm not going to have a bad reaction to any medication they give me, and there's a possibility that by the end of July, I could actually BE ON MEDS and TREATING this nonsense. I don't know if I'm excited or scared, but I think I'm honestly... Hopeful? Like, maybe things aren't going to be easier now, but I have a CHANCE! And it means that I don't feel guilty looking at resources for people with ADHD and putting them to use! It's... Weird to think about, but also kinda nice?

Plus, y'know, I'm apparently LITERALLY THE ONLY PERSON SURPRISED BY THIS. THE ONLY ONE. Everyone else gets to do their preferred form of the "I told you so!" dance, and feel validated in your "Susan why do you think you're lazy?!" Apparently the answer was "Undiagnosed mental illnesses, who knew?"So yeah, I'm being gentle with my brain today. We had the traditional fast food run that is done after ALL mental health shenaniganry, I'm going out for korean barbeque for sithe's birthday, and I'm using the time inbetween to play mindless soothing video games. Tomorrow maybe I'll do something useful with this information, but today... I'm just gonna process it a bit.