*takes a deep breath*
WHERE IS THE NEXT EPISODE, I NEED IT.
- NO SERIOUSLY SHOW, YOU GET BACK HERE AND EXPLAIN YOURSELF BECAUSE WHAT IN THE NAME OF SANITY.
- SIEGFRIED, NO.
- Okay, let's back this up.
- Updated Servant chart:
Lancer (Black): Vlad the Impaler. Lancer (Red): Karna
Saber (Black): Siegfried. Saber (Red): Mordred.
Archer (Black): Chiron. Archer (Red): Atalanta.
Berserker (Black): Frankenstein. Berserker (Red): Spartacus.
Caster (Black): Avicebron. Caster (Red): Shakespeare.
Rider (Black): Astolfo. Rider (Red): Achilles.
Assassin (Black): Jack the Ripper. Assassin (Red): Semiramis
Ruler: Jeanne D'Arc
- I THINK we have maybe got all of the Servants now? According to my handy chart, everyone has been accounted for. WE SHALL SEE THOUGH, because I think the homunculus is going to turn out to be a servant somehow.
- I am completely unsurprised that Achilles is a jpop fuckboi, because that is probably the closest thing to canon. I am kinda surprised that Atalanta is a catgirl, but sure Type Moon, you do you. (Lex says that in one interpretation of her myth, she was raised by lions, and you know what? SURE.)
- ... You know what, I am somewhat affronted by the subs having Achilles calling Atalanta "sister" (even if it's in the onee-san way; I don't remember hearing it), because I'm pretty sure she's literally the only person in Greek myth that he's not related to in some way.
- Atalanta and Chiron having an archery off was excellent.
- GODDAMMIT MOUSTACHE DUDE MUST YOU RUIN LITERALLY EVERYTHING, WHY WAS IT SO IMPORTANT TO YOU THAT SABER USE HIS NOBLE PHANTASM INSTEAD OF LETTING BERSERKER USE HERS?!
- Also I think Darnic forced Moustache Dude to use a Command Seal to stop the Noble Phantasm going off, that's kinda cool.
- ... Hey, so Atalanta mentioned that they've never seen the faces of their Masters, right? They've only seen Assassin's Master.
- And in main continuity, the church representative inherits every unused Command Seal when a Master dies.
- And Kotomine is a ruthless bastard who was apparently Shiro's mentor because this is the darkest timeline.
- ... What I'm saying is that I think either there ARE no other Masters, or there were and Shiro has straight up just killed them all and taken custody of the Servants, and this is horrifying.
- (There is apparently a timeline where Kotomine kept a bunch of kids sedated in a church basement so that he could harvest their magical energy, and I'm also entertaining that as a possibility. EITHER WAY NECRODAD AND SHIRO ARE PROBABLY THE ONLY TWO MASTERS WALKING AROUND FREE.)
- SPARTACUS IS DEEPLY, DEEPLY CREEPY, OKAY. LIKE, IN EVERY SINGLE PART OF THIS PERSONIFICATION OF HIM. The fact that he goes full "Tis but a fleshwound" and tries to kill Vlad the Impaler when one of his legs has been literally unmade is alarming.
- ... OKAY, so the Black team can straight up steal Servants' Contracts? That is new and interesting.
- Even Ruler is calling bullshit on all of this.
- ASTOLFO YOU ARE NOT EVEN TRYING TO BE SNEAKY ABOUT SMUGGLING THIS HOMUNCULUS OUT. ALSO I'M PRETTY SURE THAT SWORD IS TWO BIG FOR HIM.
- The homunculi patching each other up is really saaaaaaaad because they only have like four faces between them and everyone treats them as disposable and they're patching each other up insteeeeeeeeeead! I mean, I guess it makes sense to... Not waste materials? But also it's saaaaaaaad!
- Huh, they mobilised EVERYONE to get the homunculus back! And Predatory Lesbian Master was being very stoic, which probably means that if Astolfo goes back things are going to be GRIM.
- Astolfo thinks that all you need to make your life worth living is wanting to live. *sits with that*
- God I hate Moustache Dude and knowing that I'm SUPPOSED to hate Moustache Dude doesn't help. HE HAD ONE JOB: NOT KILLING THE HOMUNCULUS. SO WHAT DOES HE GO AND FUCKING DO.
- Siegfried's mind being blown by the idea of helping people not because they asked or demanded, but just because it's something that you wanted to? That is sad. He never had someone he wanted to help without them asking? Although from the flashbacks I guess he never had a chance.
- SIEGFRIED PUNCHING MOUSTACHE DUDE IS VERY THERAPEUTIC FOR ME, OKAY.
- Siegfried no, Siegfried PUT THAT HEART BACK, YOU NEED THAT TO LIVE.
- HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK
- I GUESS IT MAKES SENSE BECAUSE BOTH OF THEM ARE MADE PRETTY MUCH ENTIRELY OF MAGIC RATHER THAN FLESH AND BONE BUT STILL.
- That... That is a lot of magic circuits right there...
- So THIS is how he becomes the dragon Ruler contracts with, right? He gets the dragon heart or the heart that was bathed in the blood of Fafnir or whatever, and now he can become a dragon? And contract with Ruler? Who has sworn to protect him? Oh god this just got complicated.
- Me: So, they're going to summon him back, right? And he won't remember this?
Lex: What I'm thinking about is the bit at the beginning, where Saber calls him a fake...
Me: D: D: D: D: D: D:
WHERE IS THE NEXT EPISODE, I NEED IT.