We've Been Overruled By The Audience.

Feb. 15th, 2019 07:31 pm
rionaleonhart: final fantasy viii: found a draw point! no one can draw... (you're a terrible artist)
[personal profile] rionaleonhart
It was Final Fantasy VIII's twentieth birthday on the eleventh of February, and I got a little emotional about it. I'm so glad this game exists. I'm so glad I was accidentally sold it when I tried to buy a different game. I'm so glad I played it when I was thirteen years old and I really needed it. I don't know who I'd be if I'd never met Squall Leonhart.

I really want to do something in honour of this game. Maybe I should try to finish my 'Squall is contracted to be Yuna's guardian' crossover with Final Fantasy X. It seemed too ambitious, but maybe it could work as a one-shot if I just focus on crucial scenes from their pilgrimage.

The other event on the eleventh: I attended a recording of The Unbelievable Truth! But, unfortunately, I forgot to make notes afterwards, so it's all escaped my mind. Here are a few scraps I've managed to pull out of my unreliable memory, at any rate.

The panellists were Henning Wehn, Lou Sanders, Lucy Porter and Frankie Boyle; the host, as ever, was David Mitchell. The goal in The Unbelievable Truth, if anyone's unfamiliar with the rules, is to spot the ridiculous truths concealed in a largely false lecture.

For the second time on the show, Wehn gave a lecture on Germany.

Wehn: I was quite upset to be asked to give a second lecture on Germany...
Sanders: (buzzes) I don't think that's true.
Wehn: It is.
Mitchell: I... sorry, I don't understand. You've buzzed in to say that something isn't true.
Sanders: I've forgotten the format of the show.
Mitchell: And Henning says it is true, so I think we have to give you a point for an inadvertent truth, regardless of what you actually said when you buzzed. She's cunningly tricked you into saying it was true, Henning.

Wehn's full opening line was 'I was quite upset to be asked to give a second lecture on Germany, as it suggests there was something wrong with the first.' He concluded with 'I trust that I have now given a satisfactory overview of Germany and that a third lecture will not be necessary.'

Wehn: In Germany, it is illegal to give a child a stupid name.
Sanders: They let you be called Henning.

Wehn actually made a callback to the last Unbelievable Truth recording I attended! After finishing his lecture with three points: 'I know how I'm going to play this.' (The last time he'd got three points, he'd refused to play for the rest of the game so he wouldn't risk losing them. An effective strategy, it turned out, but perhaps not the most desired one for a comedy panel show.)

Porter buzzed at one point and then agonised over whether she was making the right call. 'If it's any reassurance,' Mitchell said, 'this game absolutely does not matter.'

A line I definitely laughed too loudly at in Boyle's lecture on beards:

Boyle: Kanye West's beard is insured for eight million dollars. Every year he shaves it, sells it and donates the proceeds to a charity for helping poor, disadvantaged children... grow beards.

Wehn's second lecture was on time. One of his truths was 'Scientists have been unable to prove that time exists'.


Wehn: If your casserole becomes burnt, too much time has passed.
Porter: (buzzes) That's true.
Mitchell: Well, that's not one of the truths Henning was supposed to include, but I think you've spotted an inadvertent truth.
Boyle: Haven't we just established that time might not exist? If your casserole becomes burnt, too much heat has gone into the casserole.
Mitchell: That is true. All right, Lucy, you don't get the point because time doesn't exist.

A man in the audience occasionally heckled. Eventually, the producer interrupted the recording and had the heckler escorted from the premises.

'That was incredibly awkward,' Mitchell said after the removal, desperately.
umadoshi: (Tohru & the pretty boys (flamika))
[personal profile] umadoshi
One link: "Maaya Sakamoto Joins Cast of Fruits Basket Anime". [ANN]

When I first saw the original Fruits Basket anime, I loved it dearly. In my case, falling in love with the manga meant a lot of the love for that animated version faded quickly away--there are lots of wonderful things about it, but the small changes add up, and my anger at some of the drastic changes makes it hard for me to still love it for what it was.

One of the changes that's enjoyable in its own right is the Valentine's Day episode. I'm looking forward to seeing the Valentine's events of the manga in the new anime, but a lingering side effect of the original anime's take on it is that my sole ~Observance of Valentine's Day~ is the singing out of "HAPPY VALENTINE'S, KYO-KUN!!!" (mainly, but not exclusively, at [personal profile] scruloose).

(I don't think the original anime did terribly well by Kagura [who says that line], in that it ramped her up even higher than she is in the manga. OTOH, she was played by Mitsuishi Kotono that time around, and Mitsuishi is a brilliant, tremendously versatile seiyuu, so had that iteration continued down the path of the manga's actual story and Kagura's actual character arc, I would have trusted her to carry it off somehow, even though my retroactive faith in the writing staff for that anime is nonexistent.)

So: happy Valentine's, Kyo-kun!!!

Tonight Ginny and Kas came over for supper for the first time in what feels like forever. Kas brought Ginny-friendly pizza dough and other fixings for calzones, and he and [personal profile] scruloose assembled a very tasty dinner. (Kas also brought us a soggy baby!!! [AKA a lemon loaf.] Put a pin in that in case I get back to writing about what led to that; right now I need to wrap this up and sleep.)

You can tell by now that I have no use for Valentine's (although for those of you who celebrate it, I hope it was lovely; I also hope it wasn't painful for anyone). Right now it's largely a reminder that ten years ago--I think exactly; I'm pretty sure the trip included Valentine's--[personal profile] scruloose, Ginny, and I were in Hawai'i, staying with [personal profile] scruloose's parents (who were wintering there). I was happily considering it an ideal way to mark [personal profile] scruloose's and my five-year wedding anniversary, since we got married in Hawai'i (in June, not February, but that's the tiniest quibble when one has a free place to stay in February!), and Ginny being there with us was wonderful.

February in Hawai'i is a glorious thing. I/we used to have notions of going every five years to mark milestone numbers of years of marriage, but we didn't make it for our tenth year, and now it's our fifteenth anniversary in a few months, and the US is what it is, and we are so not going. (And my in-laws haven't wintered in Hawai'i in several years, which is also a factor. As noted, that place to stay is a staggering help in making such a trip feasible.)

Being so terribly unsure that I'll ever see Hawai'i again is far from the worst part about the political hellscape for me, even in purely selfish terms. But it really, truly hurts my heart.

Linkspam: fannish/geeky, misc.

Feb. 13th, 2019 10:44 pm
umadoshi: (The Good Place 01 (insomniatic))
[personal profile] umadoshi
Fannish/Geeky Things

Via [personal profile] kate_nepveu, "It's Easy to Be a Saint in Paradise: Thoughts on The Good Place's Third Season". [Abigail Nussbaum]

Via [community profile] thisweekmeta, "I Read the Gayest Star Trek Novel". "Della van Hise’s novel, however, is unique in that it, due to a rotating door of editors at Pocket Books and a long publishing time, certain passages Paramount wanted out were kept in. And Della van Hise may not have intended for her manuscript to be a slash story, but she was a slash writer, who liked to dissect the relationship between Kirk and Spock. And with those certain passages included in the printed first edition, the gayest Star Trek novel was born."

The Her Universe Captain Marvel collection is out.

"Here’s why the Klingons look different in ‘Star Trek: Discovery’ season 2". [Gavia Baker-Whitelaw at The Daily Dot]

Via [personal profile] silveradept, "How to construct Alternate Universes that work as fanfic". [Rat Creature, January 2001]


"Red Carpet Rundown: The 2019 BAFTAs". [Genevieve Valentine]

Via [personal profile] larryhammer, Toccata and Fugue in D Minor played on the harp. [YouTube]

"A Very American Mango Pie, Inspired by Indian Aunties". [Samin Nosrat]

Via [personal profile] st_aurafina, "Some Social Media & Media Engagement Hygiene And Self-Care Lessons I've Learned From Spending Several Years On This Hellmouth". [Captain Awkward at Patreon]

Via [locked], "On the Intoxicating Alchemy of Pottery". [Anuradha Roy at LitHub]

"Why Can’t We Have Decent Toilet Stalls? They don’t go to the floor or the ceiling. And what’s with the gaps on either side of the door?"

"Dear Pedants: Your Fave Grammar Rule is Probably Fake". [2015]

"Identifying oven hot spots: the toast test". [King Arthur Flour]

"Five Vaccines For Adults". [2017]

"Food Explainer: Why Does Microwaving Water Result in Such Lousy Tea?"

"Here are three tools that help digital journalists save their work in case a site shuts down". [2017]

Via [personal profile] silveradept:

--"A Design Lab Is Making Rituals for Secular People". [May 2018]

--"You Don’t Have to Be Good at Art to Benefit from an Artistic Hobby".


Feb. 13th, 2019 11:10 am
seventhe: (Quistis: Bad Day)
[personal profile] seventhe

[personal profile] alatefeline left me some prompts and i’ve Already told y’all the story of the fucking faucet so that will count a s my rant for plumbing. Let’s get this

And today instead of RANTING i’m Going to tell you a hilarious story about my brother and food coloring so buckle up chucklefucks

SOOOOOoooo backstory: my brother and I grew up reading a lot of Calvin & Hobbes cause my gramma and grandpa had a bunch of the (books? Collections?) things, and we’d read and re read them the way you do when you get bored at your grandparents’ house. Right

So one day we’re eating dinner and mum has made like, meatloaf and mashed potatoes i think? And shes serving everybody and out of nowhere my brother says, “Can you make my mashed potatoes green?”

Cue mum: “Wha” ????

My brother: “You know how in Calvin & Hobbes their dinner is always green mush on a plate. I want mine to look like green mush on a plate like Calvin & Hobbes.”

And so my mum says, “Well, we can add some food coloring if you want, but it’s going to look very gross. You have to promise you’re going to eat it.”

Bro: “Well duh, it’s still mashed potatoes, I just want them green”

So mum gets the food coloring and they proceed to dye my brother’s serving of mashed potatoes a terrible looking green and he’s loving it like the lil dork he is and dad and i are just kind of peanut gallery eating meatloaf in the background or something idk.

Dinner’s served. And after about two fucking bites, my brother says, “I don’t think I can eat this.”

Mum: “It’s still mashed potatoes. They’re just green. You literally asked for this”

Bro: “yeah but its gross”

Mum: “we literally just talked about this”

Bro: “yeah but its gross”

So yeah even after ACKNOWLEDGING THAT THEY WERE STILL FUCKING MASHED POTATOES, and ADDING THE FOOD COLORING HIMSELF, it turns out my bro couldn’t eat the green mush on a plate. We threw it out and he got new normal colored mashed potatoes and we laughed at him for, well, the rest of his life i guess

And the moral of this story is: green eggs and ham is a bad sell, but regular eggs and ham is delicious. NEXT

sarasa_cat: (Varric)
[personal profile] sarasa_cat
Have been looking through some of my old Dragon Age drafts -- mostly DA2 fic -- and have only scratched the surface of all of those words.

Holy shit... I forgot that mostly outlined A/B/O story that requires capital W warnings in the first part, and then it completely deconstructs the whole A/B/O trope in the second part.

And Anthem ... I remember writing it but now that I am reading it ... omfg. Fenris. This. Why did I never finish it?

Wow. There is so much fic hidden away in my dropbox and google drive. I just ... whoa.

(and all of that orig I forgot about too.)
sarasa_cat: (fenris)
[personal profile] sarasa_cat
When I first tried using twine a million years ago ... or sometime in 2014-15 or something like that, it reminded me the experimental fiction I had to read at the end of the 1990s in some graduate-level seminar on Hypertext. 

I never did much with twine. 

Over the past few years while I have lived under a rock, twine has grown up A LOT and clearly I am extremely late to the party.

The other day phdfan ([personal profile] breakfastdragon ) reblogged a post on Tumblr about a free indie fan-game, Dragon Age Insurrection, that is currently a work in progress and will employ a variety of programmatic aspects -- character race and class, romances, etc -- and it is being made with Twine2/SugarCube.  Interesting! Twine is growing up!  

Last night I...

...skimmed through the SugarCube documentation
...started hunting down into on the underlying Twee format
...started realizing that it would be possible to hook a lot of extra javascript in and have the js make calls to a backend database
...which means Twine can now be used for far more complex projects



But now I need to learn the basics of Twine and dust off all of my haven't-used-in-four-years programming skills.

So, rather than work on a bigger original project that I would consider using this stuff for, perhaps?? idk? Just a perhaps?

...Idrelle -- the person making DA Insurrection as an exploratory "learn how to make a text game" portfolio piece (and I am looking forward to it) -- ended up giving me an idea.

I have many many many hundreds of thousands of words of Dragon Age fanfic-in-draft that has been sitting in deep freeze for a while. Certainly, something small from within it could be the starting point for me playing with Twine? Obviously, I'd need to think about how to make it choice based with branching and and choice consequences but... hm. Why not?

Although I won't make anything that is anywhere near of the size and complexity of what Idrelle is making. Small. Or maybe a few small things. All... small. Learning exercises.

[is the icon for this post a hint? maybe. maybe not. but maybe. ;)] 
sarasa_cat: (Varric)
[personal profile] sarasa_cat
Sometimes I just want to game on my lightweight work laptop (a MacBook) rather than on my aging, big gaming machine or on a console. 

DA2 happens to run beautifully on my MacBook. Currently, I am playing a completely unmodded game. I might add mods later?

As of last night, I have a new Hawke: a female warrior who is extremely purple.  Not my standard Hawke and no idea yet which romance path(s) this Hawke will take. Isabela? Fenris?

edit: huh? why did DW change my icon for this post? well, fixed. 

Thoughts on Some Recent Media

Feb. 12th, 2019 11:14 am
forestofglory: E. H. Shepard drawing of Christopher Robin reading a book to Pooh (Default)
[personal profile] forestofglory
Here's some thoughts on some of the media I've consumed recently:

*I saw a play! It was Metamorphoses by Mary Zimmerman and the Berkeley Rep! Its a play based on Ovid's Metamorphoses, so Roman myth, preformed with a pool. I'd seen this once before about 20 years ago but forgotten a lot. Anyways it was really good, I loved how the stories flowed together and how they used the water, but rather darker than I remembered.

*I'm still reading and enjoying Fruits Basket. I think I'm about at the point where I stopped reading years ago.

*R and I have been watching a little bit of Stargate (SG1). The pilot was not great, but he's been he's picked a few good episodes form the 1st season that I've enjoyed so far. I last one featured a kickass older woman scientist which was nice. Which also watched the 1st few episodes of netflix's Carmen San Diego, which was very pretty. But it didn't really grab either of us.

*I have ton of things out from the library just now. A lot of it is Fruits Basket, but there's also some other Manga, a few graphic novels, the most recent trade of Squirrel Girl, and couple of YA books I want to try to read before nominations close for the Lodestar.

*I've only got three stories left on in my 2018 short fiction TBR.

What are you reading and watching? Seen any live performances lately
umadoshi: (kittens - Claudia - ear tufts)
[personal profile] umadoshi
Things are a bit off-kilter on the household front. Yesterday [personal profile] scruloose got started on removing the old, ~functional-but-slightly-broken-when-we-moved-in toilet from the cats' half bathroom and replacing it with the less-old toilet we replaced while renovating the main bathroom. No more need to store the latter! Yay! Except something went wrong with the shutoff valve [technical explanation redacted], and they had to turn the water to the whole house off for several hours until that was capped off. (Yay for friends who keep spare plumbing parts on hand!)

And that's all still being dealt with, which isn't a big deal for me, now that we can take showers and stuff, but the poor cats are pretty unsettled. Their litter box is in the hallway. What are they to think?! (Fortunately they're continuing to be fine about using it, but they would like their routine to be restored, thank you. Hopefully tomorrow evening it'll all be sorted.)

brief materialism: laying in supplies for (eventual) foster kitties; accosted by a flash sale on a robot )

I was going to grumble about the scroll wheel on my mouse being noticeably jumpy/glitchy, which has been really bugging me for a couple of weeks now, but for some reason today it seems less bad. Maybe it's sorted itself out. *fingers crossed* Or maybe it'll be an intermittent-enough thing to let slide, like the H key on my keyboard and its phases of needing to be jabbed really hard. (Don't get ideas, H key.)

In pleasing (freelance) work news, I managed to get one of my adaptations (a volume of one of my harder/wordier series, even!) turned in yesterday, which was noticeably ahead of schedule. ^_^ I mean, I still have both 1/4 of a volume and another full volume due next week, but getting this script off my plate is a relief.

It's certainly easier to stay on top of the manga work with these basic-workday Casual Job hours than it is during the twice-yearly flat-out stints, but for the moment I can still have notions of doing things like "socializing a little" and "reading/watching some things", both of which go largely out the window (along with sleep >.>) when Casual Job's in full swing. It leaves me sort of sitting on the sofa in surprise, like "I...was at the office today? And have deadlines? And yet I can, like, read this book...? SORCERY."

KH3: second reaction shot

Feb. 11th, 2019 05:56 pm
owlmoose: (kh - roxas)
[personal profile] owlmoose
We've made a bit more progress, three new worlds since I last posted, including what I presume are all the worlds in the second world map area. I'll put it all behind the cut for spoilers.

A personal note about that, since there are many new folks here since the last time I gameblogged anything: for myself, I am very anti-spoiler, and tend not to even seek out lots of promotional material for a game I've been anticipating, so I ask that you avoid saying anything in comments that alludes to events past the point I've reached in game. I feel like that's a courtesy not just to me, but to anyone else who wants to click through to comments but might also not be finished. That includes spoilery icons as well as commentary, and also any informed answers to any speculative questions I might pose. Thanks so much!

Finished what seems to be the main plot in our current world; our next step appears to be simple exploration )

That's about it for now. But I find myself very unsure of what's going to happen next, and that's kind of exciting.


Feb. 10th, 2019 01:09 pm
owlmoose: (tea - it's good for you)
[personal profile] owlmoose
Friday: Friends cooked spaghetti and meatballs and invited us over, followed by a sampling of Girl Scout cookies. Thin Mints continue to rule the pack. Much yummy food and fun conversation.

Saturday: Slept in. Made chicken marsala for lunch (that was supposed to be Friday's dinner before we got the invite out) and watched Moonlight, which was a beautiful movie with brilliant acting, if a bit short on plot. Dinner was all-you-can-eat crab at a charity dinner in Alameda. I won two bottles of wine and two bottles of vodka in the raffle! Even more yummy food and fun conversation.

Today: Slept in again. Bacon and eggs for breakfast. Soon I'm heading out to another friend's house for Indian takeout and season 2 of The Marvelous Ms. Maisel.

Pretty good for a rainy weekend, I think. :) I hope all is well with all of you!
rionaleonhart: kingdom hearts: riku, blindfolded and smiling slightly. (we'll be the darkness)
[personal profile] rionaleonhart
Here is a short Kingdom Hearts friendship piece about people having bad ideas and going 'this is a bad idea' and then 'let's carry out the bad idea'.

Title: No Holding Back
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 1,200
Summary: Kairi and Axel's training gets a little too intense.
Warnings: I'm not sure how to describe this, exactly, but there's something close to self-harm ideation in here.

No Holding Back )

Quick posts

Feb. 8th, 2019 06:52 pm
owlmoose: A bright blue butterfly (butterfly)
[personal profile] owlmoose

I wish I could even remember what kinds of things I used to write quick posts about. Sharing links? Memes? I miss memes. I wish Tumblr-style memes would catch on here. (I actually saw one today, but it was about ranking favorite fanfic tropes and since I'm not really a tropes-based reader, it didn't speak to me.) What I really miss are fic prompt memes. We should bring those back.

I know -- I can share an actual tidbit of useful information! Did you know that DW supports Markdown? Just put "!markdown" at the top of the box, and DW will interpret Markdown syntax -- like those italics above. Super useful for simple formatting. Much less trouble than HTML. If you're not familiar with Markdown, here's a basic guide. I forget who shared this on my reading list recent, but whoever it was: thank you!

I hope everyone has or is having a lovely weekend!

Linkspam: fannish/geeky, misc.

Feb. 8th, 2019 09:57 pm
umadoshi: (fancrone - china_shop)
[personal profile] umadoshi
Fannish/Geeky Things

The Captain Marvel website is wonderful.

"Tumblr users are tagging their porn with the ‘citrus scale’". [Gavia Baker-Whitelaw at The Daily Dot]

[personal profile] musesfool, do you know about this? "Batman: Family Limited Edition Q-Master Diorama". (This is outside my usual linkspam scope, but it's adorable.)

"A cosplay sisterhood mashes up Black Panther and Sailor Moon and it's amazing".

"The Sprawling, Empathetic Adventure of Saga". [March 2018] (Some spoilers.)

"Let’s Judge These Star Trek Captains’ Quarters". (Includes spoilers for Disco.)

Via a couple of people, [personal profile] girljustdied is hosting "body talk: a porny comment ficathon" in the style of Porn Battle, and prompts are open here until February 12.


Via [personal profile] conuly, "Amazon Ruined Online Shopping: America’s largest internet store is so big, and so bewildering, that buyers often have no idea what they’re going to get".

Via [personal profile] kate_nepveu, "Which condiments need to be refrigerated?"

Via [personal profile] kore, "She Was Sort of Crazy: On Women Artists".

Via [personal profile] jadislefeu, "Why We Need The Serial Comma: 10 Hilarious Real-World Examples".

"Canadian premiere of Broadway hit Hamilton is coming to Toronto". Well, that certainly took...approximately forever.

On the cute front, [personal profile] telophase linked to this seven-hour YouTube video of cats warming themselves under a kotatsu. (As [personal profile] telophase notes, the sneeze is at 1:43:21.)

"Artist Delicately Crafts Colorful Insects From Freshly Cut Flowers".

"How to Die Well, According to a Palliative Care Doctor".

"Japanese Company Now Makes Kimonos With Hijabs for Muslim Women".
forestofglory: E. H. Shepard drawing of Christopher Robin reading a book to Pooh (Default)
[personal profile] forestofglory
So you may have noticed that I'm not posting short fiction recs very often. For newer readers I used to post monthly recs of my short fiction reading but I've only posted one in the last 6 months. I started a new job in August last year and since then I haven't been reading nearly as much short fiction. I keep thinking once I get settled at work I'll go back to reading all the short fiction, but its been six months and I'm feeling pretty settled. So I think I'm going to have to admit that this the new normal. I'm still reading some short fiction, so I'll still be posting recs now and again but probably not as often as before. I'll also still be writing "Short and Sweet" for [community profile] ladybusiness. I'm sorry if anyone has been disappointed by the lack of short fiction recs. I wanted to let everyone know what's up and what to expect going forward.

Not the most exciting update

Feb. 8th, 2019 11:56 am
umadoshi: (ice on branch (shadow_images))
[personal profile] umadoshi
My unanticipated pre-spring-bout work at Casual Job will continue into next week, at least (yay!), but the combination of still needing to get ahead on manga work + this morning's vile weather forecast of freezing rain and then tons of chilly rain made me opt to not go to the office today. I was hoping I'd manage to get up at a more ~reasonable~ time in the morning and get a lot done today, but it didn't work out that way (shocking no one).

The extra couple hours of sleep and the time to breathe today are good, though. Even a regular out-of-the-house workday takes some getting used to, and I polished up/turned in scripts on both Monday and Tuesday nights after getting home. (The Monday-night one was only a quarter-volume, but still.)

Getting to work with Ginny is still awesome. ^_^ We're both so introverted and easily burned out that we don't see each other as often as we'd like to when I'm only doing freelance work and she's full-time at the office.

Last night there was actual socializing--Ginny, Kas, [personal profile] scruloose, and I met up with both [personal profile] seascribe and [personal profile] kinsmania for ramen after work (our first time seeing [personal profile] kinsmania at all in a distressingly long time--she's doing a contract gig that swallowed her life whole for ages).

So that was the week, and now it's time to work. *determined face* Happy Friday, all!
rionaleonhart: kingdom hearts: sora, riku and kairi having a friendly chat. (and they returned home)
[personal profile] rionaleonhart
I have finished Kingdom Hearts III at last! Here's a breakdown of my feelings about this game.

Final thoughts on Kingdom Hearts III. )

There were some aspects of Kingdom Hearts III I liked more than others, but, before I started playing this game, my stipulations were 'I want this to be heartfelt, and I want it to be nonsense.' It was both, and fun on top of that. I'm pleased.

Kingdom Hearts III may be in competition with Dream Drop Distance for the title of my favourite Kingdom Hearts game, actually. Kingdom Hearts II still has my favourite ending in the series, though.

Hi, Ted, Who's Here.

Feb. 6th, 2019 09:31 pm
rionaleonhart: final fantasy viii: found a draw point! no one can draw... (you're a terrible artist)
[personal profile] rionaleonhart
Surprise: I'm still capable of making entries about things that aren't Kingdom Hearts! I've now watched the Buffy episodes 'What's My Line?' and 'Ted'.

Angel breaks into Buffy's room to hold her soft toys? This is incredible.

I love that Angel, having been dragged from his cage (there seem to be a lot of convenient cages around Sunnydale) and handed over to Spike, has his shirt open for absolutely no reason.

There were some horrible fanfiction scenarios springing to mind when Spike and Drusilla had Angel captive, and I want all of them. For a moment I really thought that Spike and Drusilla were going to bang while Angel was tied up in the corner of the room.

Buffy and Kendra constantly clashing is fun. And Buffy is envious of how Kendra and Giles are sparking off each other!

I had not previously identified any sort of Xander/Cordelia direction in the show and was very confused when they started making out. (Buffy and Kendra, meanwhile, have a load of sexual tension and yet tragically fail to resolve it.)

Huh. I evidently misread the earlier scene between Spike and Drusilla; I thought she was asking whether she could toy sexually with Angel and he was going 'oh, fine, I suppose,' but Spike is later furious at the suggestion that it may have been sexual.

'You're having parental issues! You're having parental issues! ...what? Sigmund Freud would have said the same thing.' I don't always get along with you, Xander, but you do have some great lines.

Buffy finishing Joyce's 'it's not exactly like men beat down the door when you're a single parent' line, with the implication that this is something she hears a lot from her mother, is an upsetting detail. Poor Buffy.

'Ted' is such a horrifying episode, on so many levels. I was spoiled for the staircase event, but I wasn't prepared for how powerfully awful it was to watch.

I feel that in some ways 'Ted' took the easy way out; the first half was such a visceral story of human horror, and then it was resolved with 'oh, actually it was a different type of horror all along and Buffy hasn't crossed a moral line.' The repercussions could have been so interesting! But the first half was still very, very strong.

Switching topics entirely: oh, wow, nothing else in Dissidia Final Fantasy Opera Omnia or indeed any videogame will ever beat the revelation that Laguna, on account of his short-lived acting career, is Seifer's hero. Laguna is the reason Seifer started using a gunblade. This is incredible. I'm so happy.

Looking back at the scene of Laguna filming in Final Fantasy VIII: Seifer took his fighting stance from Laguna's performance! My heart is exploding.

Final Fantasy VIII is my most beloved game in the world, and it's so magical to learn this detail about it now, seventeen years after I played it for the first time. Seifer's so determined to be cool! Laguna is such a loser! And he was Seifer's inspiration! I love both of these useless characters.

Fandom, History, Belonging

Feb. 6th, 2019 01:04 pm
forestofglory: E. H. Shepard drawing of Christopher Robin reading a book to Pooh (Default)
[personal profile] forestofglory
I've been doing fanish stuff almost as long as I can remember but it's only in the last several years I've started to think of myself as someone who's part of fandom and even then it's with caveats about which part of fandom. (Ie SFF book fandom but not really transformative works fandom.) It might be more straight forward to talk about weather I consider myself a fan, but it's not so much about my identity as someone who likes stuff I've always felt comfortable saying I'm a fan in that sense it's more about my sense of belonging to a community.

As kid I used to play pretend games based on my favorite books, have long philosophical arguments with my friends about what book characters should do and just generally obsess of my favorite fictional things. At one point I had a handmade spreadsheet of ElfQuest characters. All of that made me a fan, but since I was mostly doing it by myself it didn’t make me part of fandom.

I first encountered the idea of fandom as teen reading author personal essays about going to cons, voting in the Hugos and doing SWFA stuff. Some of them even talked about writing fanfic. The library had a several collections of Hugo winning stories with commentary by Asimov where he wrote very affectionately about cons and such. (I didn't learn about him assaulting women at cons until years later.) So I knew as a teen that SFF fandom existed but it didn't feel like something I could be part of. It seemed like something you had to go cons to do, and that was pretty scary for me back then.

This was also around this time that my family got home internet access. I was soon joining forums and mailing lists to talk to other people about books on the internet. This would have been in the early 2000s. But at the time I didn’t really think about what I was doing online as fandom that still seemed like something that happened in person.

I’m not sure when exactly I started thinking of myself as part of fandom. Not for a long time after I’d be active in online fandom. Maybe after I started voting in Hugo Awards? When I started writing short fiction recs regularly, which happened soon after? When I started writing for [community profile] ladybusiness? Maybe not until I started going to conventions. I can’t recall a moment when I suddenly thought well I’m in fandom now. Looking back it's a bit sad that I struggled with this so much.

I had imposter syndrome about belonging to fandom. Like me now would definitely tell my teen self that she was part of fandom. But always felt like I was just on the edges of that space.

Right now I’m pretty happy with my place in fandom. I have friends to squee about lovely media with. People read things I rec and enjoy them and that makes me happy. I go to cons and enjoy them. I write a regularly for a Hugo Award winning blog! But all that is because of network I’ve been building up slowly over a long time.

When communities are amorphous and have ill defined boundaries it can be hard to feel like you belong. And when you take part in fandom online but don't go to cons or write fic it can feel like fandom isn't aimed at you. Community is hard. I still sometimes feel like I’m just shouting into the void. Feeling like you belong can be elusive. I want everyone to have fun enjoying media and talking about it with other people, but I’m not really sure how to use my experiences to make people feel included.


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Hi! I'm Susan, I write for [community profile] ladybusiness, and I'm currently trying to post at least 100 words of fic every day.

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February 2019

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