Reaction Shot: Fate/Apocrypha ep 15 (or: Fiore, Necrodad, and Saber DESERVE BETTER.)

[spindizzy]

• I am so angry that Achilles is an absolute jpop fuckboi and I still love him. I did not consent to this. How dare they.

Man, they are so cheerful and open about poisoning the human masters.

Wow, Atalanta going "Nope, they're just weak, they are not my masters" is sure a choice she's making there. Like, when ACHILLES is being the voice of morality and reason, SOMETHING IS WRONG.

Man, no one should trust Shiro. Please stop trusting him.

Achilles' wish is to live as a hero, bless him.

Semiramis is VERY ready to murder all of them. Yay, team-building!

I'm not gonna lie, the first time I saw Atalanta's wish being to create a world where all children are loved, I did have to go on a wiki hunt to see if there were any myths that informed that decision of the part of the showrunners, or if it was just plain old misogyny. The closest that I can find is that in some versions of the myth, her father abandons her on a mountain for not being a son, and she's raised by a bear instead? So it's either that or misogyny, answers on a postcard as to which we think it is.

(I assume the cat ears motif is from the version where she gets turned into a lion, but at this point in my watching Fate journey it could just be that the designer likes cat ears.)

Atalanta is so angry at the suggestion that the Grail can grant ALL wishes, but not that one.

So Karna's only wish is to fight Saber of Black. Damn, some of these people have easy wishes!

OF COURSE Murder Moustache thinks that trying to save people is hilarious. Go Saber, smack that fucker down!

WHY WERE YOU GOING FOR THE GRAIL IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN IT?!

Okay, the problem with the uncorrupted Grail isn't that it's a malicious genie granting your wishes in the worst possible way for you, it's that the Grail is going to grant your wish in the way YOU think it should be granted. So if you wanna monkey paw yourself, it will ABSOLUTELY let you do that. THIS IS BAD.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT CAN'T BE ALLOWED, THE LITERAL WHOLE POINT OF THE GRAIL IS THAT IT'S CHEATING.

Fiore and Jeanne being the responsible adults in the room is kinda nice, although kinda bleak considering they're both teenagers and they're already planning military expeditions, and also handling shit better than THE LITERAL ADULTS IN THE ROOM.

Saber is SO GRUMPY about having to help, even in the face of Necrodad! And Astolfo just jumping in front of Sieg to protect him!

They trust each other after having tried to murder each other! Bless their hearts!

... Oh it's THIS episode. The episode where Chiron and Caules completely betray any trust and good will they had built up!

Seriously, Chiron goes behind Fiore's back to ask her brother if she's fit to be the leader of Yggdmillennia! WHAT THE FUCK! Like, the most charitable interpretation is that he wants to spare her in terms of feelings and possible injury, but it's still NOT HIS PLACE TO DECIDE!

Like, the fact that he is happy to have her as a master but isn't confident on her willingness to commit murder makes me SO ANGRY. SHE CAME CLOSER THAN CAULES EVER DID YOU BACKSTABBING FUCKO.

Listen, I'm gonna put it out there. You should ALWAYS choose the leader who prefers to find ways that don't involve death, and not the one who carelessly throws other people's lives away! BOTH OF YOU ACKNOWLEDGE THAT SHE'S GOOD AT HER JOB AND HAS ETHICS, WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM WITH HER GIVING A DAMN WHETHER PEOPLE LIVE OR DIE?!

The traditional solution to this problem isn't "depose the person who's good at their job," it's GET SOMEONE WHO IS GOOD AT THE SHADY SHIT TO DO IT ON THEIR BEHALF!"

MOTHERFUCKER CAULES KILLED BERSERKER BECAUSE HE CAN'T THINK THINGS THROUGH AND FORGETS BASIC THINGS LIKE "MY OPPONENTS CAN DO EVERYTHING I CAN BUT AREN'T IDIOTS" AND YOU WANT ME TO ROOT FOR THESE TWO BASTARDS GOING BEHIND FIORE'S BACK TO ESSENTIALLY "DOESN'T SHE LOOK TIRED?" HER?!

My rage is never-ending about this btw, especially because if I remember rightly Fiore gets written out entirely before the finale. Fuck that.

Like, the only thing I like about this is that Caules is very upfront that he knows she's the competent one and that he should be following her. SHAME IT DOESN'T FUCKING STICK, CAULES.

Ugh, I'm annoyed that they have sweet things like pointing out that Caules was probably the right master for Berserker in THIS EPISODE.

YAY SABER AND NECRODAD, WHO HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG IN THEIR LIVES.

I love them, okay. Look at the way Saber just checks whether Jeanne is talking nonsense with Necrodad! Look at how good they are!

Astolfo consistently putting themself between Saber and Sieg is so sweet.

"You must make sure you never use your final Command Spell!" says Jeanne, immediately ensuring that Sieg is going to use every single Command Spell.

Sieg just there like "I don't have anything anyone can take from me. Nothing worth a miracle, anyway," when Jeanne and Astolfo and all of the homunculi are RIGHT FUCKING THERE.

"I'll do my best to keep my master in custody!"/"I'll do my best to nurse him!" LOOK, I ACTUALLY HAVE A SOLID BASIS FOR THIS SHIP, OKAY.

"Keep a good grip on Rider's reins." ... OH MY GOD.

Necrodad's ancestors LITERALLY MADE A DEAL WITH A DEVIL! And it means that Necrodad can never fulfil his role of being someone necromantic dad! ;;

Saber: Couldn't you just adopt a kid into the family? Necrodad: I already tried that. The kid died because of me. SCREECHES IN HORROR

His magic crest is cursed, it poisons anyone he passes it to. Oh Necrodad no. ;;

How Necrodad found his chill: realising that his family ended with him.

... Now I really want Rail Zeppelin to have him and Waver bonding over finding their chill through the traumatic deaths of the people they loved the most. Why.

Look at how affectionately they tease each other over the terrible things that happened! ;___;

... If Necrodad had won, would he have just lifted the curse? Or would he have lifted the curse and brought back his kid? FANFIC WRITERS GET ON THIS.

Of course they end up back in the crypt! Because they know that it's not safe to sleep in enemy territory!

I like how Necrodad's consistent modus operandi is "Oh yeah, sure, I'm happy to work with you! But I am going to work with you from over here, where you can't kill me."

(Also I want him to just casually booby-trap a tomb, okay, I am a woman of simple needs.)

Necrodad: And then, when Ygddemillenia is fighting against the other team... Saber: WE TAKE THE HOLY GRAIL!

... Look, I can't help it, I just love this pair of bastards.

"Do you still have memories of your kid?" "There are things in this unforgiving world that you should never forget about."

FISTBUMP OF FAMILY! ;;

Jeanne: WHAT IF I blame all of my squishy illogical emotions over this cute boy on the fact that I am possessing a teenage girl. Jeanne: All of my feelings are completely logical and rational. Jeanne: It is nothing to do with the fact that I am also a teenage girl and hanging around a cute boy.

I can't believe that Moustache Bastard is still alive. Ugh.

HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO MISS THE HOSPITAL WARD SET-UP UNTIL YOU LITERALLY TRIPPED OVER IT YOU ABSOLUTELY SHIT-STAIN?!

Astolfo: deliberately barges through because they can

Sieg: Don't try to stop us! Moustache Bastard: actually helps to solve a problem Me: ... You still made hundreds of people as cannon fodder and batteries and I am not gonna forget that.

HOW DID YOU GET THEM OUT OF THE TANK WITHOUT FULLY DEVELOPED ORGANS.

... Moustache Bastard is sulking because he didn't get to engage in noble battle with magic and heroic spirits. MOTHERFUCKER YOU ARE SUCH TRASH!

Also fuck you, Sieg didn't cause Siegfried to kill himself, he literally said it was the first choice he made for himself.

"Perhaps I've been wrong this entire time." "You have. I'm glad you realised it."

I LOVE HER???? ROAST HIM! COMPLETELY ROAST HIM AS A HUMAN BEING AND SUGGEST HE MIGHT BE A COMPETENT ALCHEMIST!

"I should have made you obedient from birth!" "That wouldn't have been possible at your skill level."

... Look, I know that the homunculi only have a few years to live, but I WANT THEM TO LIVE THAT and I want the stories about the local towns suddenly seeing like, roving bands of octuplets or whatever they think is happening.

Shakespeare is so happy and entertained by everything. Like, I want to give the scriptwriters and the localisation team for getting his lines to sound plausible.

Atalanta: Why do you help Shirou? Shakespeare: BECAUSE I AM INTERESTED IN WHAT HE'S SET OUT TO DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

... I LOVE ONE (1) INCARNATION OF SHAKESPEARE.

Current tally: No changes, just slight re-alignments.

Lancer (Black): Vlad the Impaler. Lancer (Red): Karna Saber (Black): Siegfried. Saber (Red): Mordred. Archer (Black): Chiron. Archer (Red): Atalanta. Berserker (Black): Frankenstein. Berserker (Red): Spartacus. Caster (Red): Shakespeare / Avicebron. Rider (Black): Astolfo. Rider (Red): Achilles. Assassin (Black): Jack the Ripper. Assassin (Red): Semiramis Ruler: Jeanne D'Arc / Amakusa Shiro Tokisada