Is this going to be the time the lesson sticks? All signs point to no!

I think the most frustrating thing about digging yourself out of a mental-illness induced hole is that it's EXHAUSTING. Being in the hole is tiring! Getting out of the hole is tiring! Pretending that you're not in a hole is tiring! Desperately praying that no one says anything about all of the evidence of the hole before you can hide it is tiring!

And like, I'm fine? The hole is not new? Me being buried in crap at the bottom of the hole isn't new? I'm just really tired of making it harder to climb out and going "Oh god, please let no one notice that I [haven't spoken to my friends in weeks/threw fifty quid into a phone game/bought more craft stuff]," instead of literally anything that isn't that.

So yeah, what if I give up on shame-hiding from literally everyone in favour of picking up the coping strategies that used to work? I would settle for it helping me clean up the endless piles of crafting stuff before Lex and Mike actually murder me, even if it doesn't get me out of the hole, but we'll see. Wish me luck!