spindizzy | Reaction Shot: The Untamed S01E01 (or, *wails about my dead trash son*) (Reply)

(I think I started this post before lockdown, so about twelve years ago now? Either way I still have a lot of feelings about my dead trash son.)

I'M FINALLY DOING IT, I'M FINALLY WATCHING THE UNTAMED. I started watching it in July, accidentally incepted

forestofglory into watching it, and got derailed after one episode because I started reading the novel and sobbing about my dead trash son. But no! I'm doing it now! I'm going to watch the whole thing so I can finally capslock about it with my friends! I am aware that the show fell foul of the censors, so it's no longer explicitly a queer romance, but I think I saw the internet yelling about how they get around that, so ????

(PS: My new standard for slowburn is officially "One person is literally dead for sixteen years.")

Oh no, these opening credits are horrible, look at how happy everyone is! You can't do this to me, show, you can't show me the progression from "Happy nerds" to "War criminals" in the space of two minutes, that's just fucking rude!

Listen, I can't express how much I hate every self-righteous arse of a cultivator who talks about how evil Wèi Wúxiàn is while also frantically scrambling to grab the Stygian Tiger Seal. Like, my argument is always "I love Wèi Wúxiàn but he tortures at least three people to death before becoming the Yílíng Patriarch," and I still think that the cultivation sects are arses who demonise him for creating things that they want. MY FEELINGS ARE COMPLEX AND EVERY UNNAMED CULTIVATOR IS SUSPICIOUS OKAY.

I'm fascinated to see how it gets to the point where so many people are a) aware of the Stygian Tiger Seal, and b) ready to murder each other for it.

The CGI is SO BAD. SO BAD. Like, I thought the CGI in Guardian was bad, but that fight scene...

ALL OF THAT MURDER AND BIG TALK AND THEN WĒI WÚXIÁN IS OVER HERE DYING ALONE. ;_______;

I feel like the most on brand opinion I ever had about actors was "It turns out that everyone looks a lot more interesting while crying and covered in blood" and I'm pretty sure this tells you everything you need to know about me as a person.

Lán Zhàn grabbing for Wèi Wúxiàn long before he gets anywhere near the cliff edge! ;_____;

That little "Lán Zhàn" fucks me up. And the "Let go of me," and the smile on his face as Jiāng Chéng shows up to stab him! I AM FIVE MINUTES INTO THE SHOW AND ALREADY FUCKING OVERCOME, HOW DARE THIS.

(I keep forgetting that in the present timeline everyone's at least their mid-thirties, and they were all teenagers when they were fighting a war/commiting war crimes/attempting to prevent genocides. Babies no. ;___________; )

Jiāng Chéng walking away, and Lán Zhàn refusing to. ;________;

Lán Jǐngyí asking the real questions, like "How are you sure he's dead when he fell of a cliff and didn't leave a body?"

Ominous figure in the background who is probably Jiāng Chéng: He'd BETTER be fucking dead.

JIĀNG CHÉNG HAS BEEN LOOKING FOR THE BODY. D: D: D: D: Oh honey no!

"THIS IS WHY I LOOKED FOR THE BODY" — Jiāng Chéng when finding out that Wèi Wúxiàn is back from the dead, probably.

... I wonder how Wèi Wúxiàn's classmates feel about this "The Yílíng Patriarch could topples mountains" bullshit, considering they all... Were there...? And know that Wèi Wúxiàn was a massive fucking dork who couldn't keep track of his sword.

Every character in this scene: Oh shit, I think the old man just summoned the dramatic irony!
Lán Sīzhuī and Lán Jǐngyí: ... Maybe we should... Stop the dramatic irony going off.

... Okay I don't remember anything in the book about souls not moving on, so I'm pretty sure that I have no idea what the plot of the tv show is. That's fine, I'm cool with that! Especially because this scene with the old man in the wind and all of the blood and talismans? VERY COOL. In a very creepy way, but: very cool.

Poor Mò Xuányǔ.

I swear the props team got that mask from the same place that Guardian got theirs. That or they blew all of their budget on gorgeous locations and beautiful outfits, so they didn't have anything left over for props. ... What I'm saying is that I refuse to believe in that metal-hitting-stone sound effect when the mask drops, you can't play me like that, show.

And Wèi Wúxiàn just there like "... I am the Yílíng Patriarch, why do you think you can survive kicking me?"

I'm pretty sure Wèi Wúxiàn is doing the eavesdropping in public thing of "... Okay I understand everything you're saying, but please back up and provide cliff notes and a dramatis personae so I understand why you're saying it." ... Listen, I get a lot of public transport, I hear the drama end of a LOT of phonecalls.

"As the Yílíng Patriarch, I was a mad defector, who was perfect for exacting revenge." ... And he GETS IT even though he's absolutely baffled by Mò Xuányǔ's choices.

As a way of ensuring that your wishes get fulfilled after your death, wounds that can't heal isn't the worst plan! ... Is he not wrapping them up/covering them BECAUSE they can't be healed, or is it a case of "Every time he tries, whatever's over them rips open again?

"... I wish I was still dead."

On the one hand, everything about Mò Xuányǔ's life is awful. On the other hand, everyone thinking Mò Xuányǔ is insane gives the narrative and Wèi Wúxiàn an excuse to have him ask people what the hell is going on in a way that doesn't set off my embarassment squick. DILEMMA.

Wèi Wúxiàn: *casually uses his mountain-toppling magic powers to freeze a guy in place and steal his snacks*

And he's just bitching about how food doesn't taste as good as it did before he died, because HE IS A DORKY OLD MAN AND I LOVE HIM.

Wèi Wúxiàn: Oh hey, Gūsū Lán sect.
Wèi Wúxiàn: ... Oh shit, Gūsū Lán sect!!!

Me on twitter: Are they getting around casting the same actor as Wèi Wúxiàn and Mò Xuányǔ by having him wear a mask all the time. Is that their plan.
Twitter: They 100% forget about the mask by episode three.

Wèi Wúxiàn sneaking in and rolling his eyes the entire time that Madame Mò is talking entertains me, as does the really cheerful way he bounces in when he gets a cue! (I think the biggest thing I got from reading the novel was that Wèi Wúxiàn is having an ABSOLUTE BLAST acting up like this. He's just like "Man, I wish I could just [do a thing] right now. ... Wait, they all think I'm crazy, I can just [do a thing] right now!" ... I love this beautiful disaster.)

Old Man Mò: *smiles awkwardly at guests while frantically trying to shoo Mò Xuányǔ away*

Dang son that mask makes his eyes looks HUGE.

Lán Jǐngyí: *absolutely corpses it in the background while Wèi Wúxiàn is lying on the floor having a grand old time*

... Did he ever unfreeze Stick Man?

Lán Sīzhuī is a good child despite *gestures at entire life*

Damn, Wèi Wúxiàn is good at using the weapons he has. Literally the only power he has right now is that there's an audience and the Mò family care about their reputation, and he uses that to the fucking hilt. And he has tiny scraps of Mò Xuányǔ's backstory and just weaves a story out of it wholesale that makes sense regardless of whether or not it's true! (See also: everyone going "Man, this seems out of character for Mò Xuányǔ, the fuck did this family do to him?") I guess he learned something from his previous life and oh my god how did I make this funny thing sad.

... Was that a Lán trying to Subtly And Unintrusively stop a kick being as painful as it could be... By flicking glowing blue water across a room...?

"It could be that he kicked himself, right?" someone says, because everyone knows how easy it is to put your own footprint on your sternum.

Wèi Wúxiàn: ;_; If you want me to shut up ;_; ;_; ;_;
Wèi Wúxiàn: Return my things first. :| :| :| :|

... You didn't need to go all the way around Dickhead Mò to dodge that, did you? Or are you just showing off that you have superspeed?

LÁN SĪZHUĪ IS SUCH A GOOD CHILD DESPITE *GESTURES AT ENTIRE SHOW*

The way he walks off with that jar like he's got a treasure.

Lán Sīzhuī: Literally all we ask is that you don't go outside after dark and you don't go near the yard we're fighting monsters in. That's it. That's all you have to do.
Mò Family: Go outside in the dark and hang out in the yard you're fighting monsters in, got it.

"Why does this alcohol taste like water?" asks man who knows that the Lán sect doesn't drink alcohol.

HOW WEIRD MUST THIS BE FOR WĒI WÚXIÁN. THE OTHER SECTS HATED EVERYTHING HE CREATED, BUT ALSO GIVE IT TO THEIR CULTIVATORS...? He's not even surprised, bless him. Look at the face he makes as he's shaking his head, he can and does absolutely believe they did that.

"Stay vigilant!" one of them says, as Wèi Wúxiàn is nicking their shit.

LÁN SĪZHUĪ IS SUCH A GOOD CHILD, DESPITE EVERY OTHER CULTIVATOR BELIEVING IN HITTING FIRST AND TALKING LATER.

Bless him, he can tell that much from one flag despite being dead for sixteen years. ... Also I'm pretty sure that means no one has improved on anything he's done since he died, wtf.

... And he looks at Lán Sīzhuī and immediately thinks of Lán Zhàn, oh no my heart.

Lán Sīzhuī is so kind and patient and just wants his friend to not being a dick. ;_;

Dickhead Mò: *literally cannot follow simple instructions*

... Is he dying already?

He doesn't even have the guts to nick cultivator shit himself. ... Also how did the guy rip it off the pole by pulling down.

I was cool with this very peaceful musical interlude until they showed us that he wasn't playing it on a flute, he was playing it on like... Grass. But Lán Sīzhuī immediately recognises it and Lán Jǐngyí immediately critiques how its played, which I feel is very indicative of both their personalities. Plus: HOW IS IT CARRYING TO THEM.

... Wèi Wúxiàn playing music while surrounded by wreckage and blood is also very indicative of his life, but makes me go nooooooooo a lot.

The fact that he looks so heartbroken while thinking of Lán Zhàn fucking wrecks me, this is THE WORST.

... Wait, is their explanation for how they're getting around casting the same guy as Wèi Wúxiàn and Mò Xuányǔ literally that Wèi Wúxiàn coming back from the dead CHANGED THE GUY'S FACE. WHAT. NO. COME BACK. EXPLAIN.

The servant who touched the flag just there in the background like "Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit..."

Not to roast a guy on main, but Dickhead Mò looks better with the zombie make-up, it suits him.

Of course all of the Láns have magic rope that does what they tell it to. OF COURSE.

Both of the old Mòs immediately go "Shit, it can't be that our son is a fuckmuppet who can't follow simple instructions, better beat Mò Xuányǔ to death instead!"

... Seriously, I'm distressed by how much better Dickhead Mò looks with the zombie make-up and the murder smile, this is terrible.

POSSESSING SOMEONE IS DIFFERENT TO BREAKING THEIR ARMS, COME ON LADY.

Was that Wèi Wúxiàn also doing a binding on whatever was possessing Dickhead Mò, because if so I'm going to quietly keysmash about Wèi Wúxiàn and Lán Sīzhuī teaming up. ;____;

The cracking effect under his skin was really cool though!

... So he not only couldn't follow simple instructions, he went "I'm sure keeping this magic thing on me won't have any negative consequences!"

Lán Sīzhuī: Don't worry, he just passed out.
Wèi Wúxiàn: Eh, he deserved it.

WĒI WÚXIÁN STEPPING IN TO YELL "SHAME ON YOU!" AT MADAME MÒ FOR BLAMING THE CULTIVATORS FOR HER SON BEING A FUCKMUPPET GIVES ME LIFE. Like seriously lady, you can't bitch at the juniors for not protecting a child when that child is a) older than them, b) bigger than them, c) a grown-ass adult who had the risks explained to him and did it anyway, I'm with the Yílíng Patriarch on this one.

She speaks to her husband like he's a servant as well. :\

Bless this show and its terrible CGI.

The juniors: Signal Hánguāng-jūn!
Wèi Wúxiàn: ... You don't mean Lán Zhàn.
Wèi Wúxiàn: You don't mean he's nearby.
Wèi Wúxiàn: You don't mean you can bring him here?
Wèi Wúxiàn: ... Shit.

His FACE when they send the signal up, like "... I've been alive for twelve hours and I regret every single one of them."

SERIOUSLY THE STYGIAN TIGER AMULET DOESN'T COME UP UNTIL AT LEAST HALF TO TWO-THIRDS OF THE WAY THROUGH THE NOVEL, DOES THIS MEAN THAT IT'S ACTUALLY WOVEN INTO THE PLOT MORE IN THE TV SHOW????

Did they untie the zombies? Do magic ropes wear off after a certain duration? Are the magic ropes going to show up a lot in fic if I go looking? ... Ah, magic circles, everything makes much more sense now.

I like how Wèi Wúxiàn is like "I swear that amulet got destroyed," because he's so sure no one else could have duplicated it.

Listen, I respect that actor for pulling off being dragged around the room by his own hand, okay.

WĒI WÚXIÁN SOUNDS SO BORED BY THE IDEA THAT THERE ARE GHOSTS. THE MOST BORED. Like "Yes, yes, that man just broke his own neck, can we move on?" He looks so pleased when he figures it out though! And that he can seed clues to let the juniors figure it out as well without telling them directly!

Most unrealistic part of this show: everyone raises their left hand without having to check which one's left.

AND NO ONE IS PAYING ATTENTION TO THE UNCONCIOUS LADY. NOT A SINGLE ONE.

Wèi Wúxiàn is simultaneously the best and worst senpai, I love him.

I was not expecting the solution to be "Quick, take off your clothes!" I assume that's not what they actually said???

SERIOUSLY DO THE LÁNS JUST HAVE CONTROL OF THINGS THAT CAN TIE PEOPLE UP BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE THIS IS MAYBE A THING THAT WILL BE SHOWING UP IN FIC MORE THAN I EXPECT.

I believe in the two named juniors, I do, I do!

His FACE when he realises he can help!

"Wake up, it's time to work" gives me chills because yes, characters shedding their cloak of dumbassery to reveal the intense competence beneath gets me where I live.

Man, she took out every junior at once. Respect.

Meanwhile, somewhere completely different: Lán Zhàn!

Maybe it's just that the zombie make-up suits everyone.

Ohhhhhhh was the energy flick earlier to establish it as a thing so that Wèi Wúxiàn can repay the favour now! Okay, yep, got it.

Wèi Wúxiàn: ... I know this magic. I know this music. *IMMEDIATELY HIDES FOREVER*

I was wondering how long we'd go before we saw Lán Zhàn's face. I wasn't expecting it to be this episode!

I assume that there's a meta post somewhere analysing the music in this show and matching up the chords/tunes to the effects, but I'm not going to look for it until I've seen more of the show because I've no clue where the show and the book diverge, just that they have to at some point.

Wèi Wúxiàn looks so pleased and proud of him! ;_____________________; I was not prepared for how fond and happy Wèi Wúxiàn would look, this is the worst. THE WORST.

"He's always dressed in white like he's going to a funeral," he says, because bless Wèi Wúxiàn but he is simultaneously the smartest character he knows AND has the emotional intelligence of a rock.

THE CGI IS SO ROPEY. ... THIS WASN'T INTENDED AS A PUN BUT CONSIDERING HOW MANY CGI ROPES HAVE BEEN ON THE MOVE THIS EPISODE I GUESS I'M GONNA HAVE TO LIVE WITH MYSELF.

The Juniors are so happy to see their Hánguāng-jūn! Awwww, that's lovely!

And Wèi Wúxiàn understands the problem and IMMEDIATELY LEAVES because he knows what he's about. (NARRATOR VOICE: Wèi Wúxiàn did not and never would know what he was about.) ... I can't get over how sad he looks as well, this is THE WORST.

Bless Lán Zhàn and how fucking extra he is on any given day. Did he need to flip the cursed sword? No. Is he gonna? ABSOLUTELY.

"Maybe the Yílíng Patriarch didn't die!" says poor baby child who doesn't know a) how cruel it is to express that idea to Lán Zhàn, and b) that they did not stop the dramatic irony and it is in fact over there stealing a donkey.

SERIOUSLY I CAN'T GET OVER THE SHOW WRITERS SEEDING PLOT THINGS FROM THE VERY BEGINNING. This must be incredibly weird for the writer of the webnovel! Because she was serialising it, wasn't she? Which means that there was probably some plot points that she wanted to work in earlier but couldn't because she's already written those chapters before she thought of it.

Lán Zhàn's faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace ;_____________________;

YOU CAN'T JUST HAVE HIM WONDERING IF IT'S REALLY WÈI YĪNG AND THEN CUT AWAY OH MY GOD SHOW, WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

Some might wonder where Wèi Wúxiàn got clothes that matched his old preferred colour-scheme on his second day of being alive again, but I'm going to assume that he flirted with someone until they were so bemused that they just gave them to him.

Oh wait, no, THAT WASN'T WĒI WÚXIÁN WHAT, NO, WHO WAS THAT, WHO WAS SETTING UP THE DRAMATIC IRONY – ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh shit I might know who that was and now I am a mass of keysmash because NO WAIT I NEED TO KNOW!

ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THIS SOUNDS LIKE PRIMING THE CHILDREN TO THINK OF THE YÍLÍNG PATRIARCH AND I AM A SENTIENT SCREECH RIGHT NOW.

(Sir That Is A Rock Painted Yellow.)

Okay, my previous question still stands re: Wèi Wúxiàn's wardrobe, but I asked it about the wrong person.

Listen, when the four scars came up in the book I was very surprised at how Wèi Wúxiàn managed to resolve the four scars situation without taking any direct action himself, because I kinda expected that to be a whole thing and maybe for one of the scars to be for Lán Zhàn instead of one of the Mòs. AND CLEARLY THE SHOW WRITERS AGREED WITH ME WHAT THE HELL THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN. ... Oh man I have SUSPICIONS about who that last scar is for and I am a wriggling mass of capslock.

So yes, I love it, it's currently enjoyably silly, and I have NO IDEA WHERE THE STORY IS GOING because it seems like the show writers might have made sensible decisions about pacing and when to introduce plot elements as they were rewriting things anyway!

Reaction Shot: The Untamed S01E01 (or, wails about my dead trash son)

Post a comment in response: