spindizzy: (Be happy!)
[personal profile] spindizzy
Okay, official verdict: 2018 was about ten years long, and I think we did REALLY WELL making it to the end of it! Good work all of us! Hugs and love to all of you, you did amazing and I love you.

For me, I think I was possibly living that This Is Fine Dog life a little too hard, because it felt like everything was on fire around me (thanks politics!) but I was still... Doing okay? Maybe? I think? I tried a bunch of new stuff this year and some of it worked out and some of it didn't! I still achieved things! I am going to brag a bunch about this behind the cut, feel free to either disregard or link to where you're also bragging about how great you did so that I can leave you love.

  • I STARTED TREATING MY ANXIETY! This was apparently SEVERAL years in the making, but look! Look! I did it! I went to the doctor's, I tried things (CBT, St John's Wort + Gingko Biloba, Fluoxetine), I have a therapist now... I am doing my best! I think I'm a lot better than where I was at the start of the year! I'm not crying as much, I'm not hurting myself, and I THINK I've needed less external validation since I started treatment? It's hard to say. But either way, I'm happy that I'm making progress! Fingers crossed, I will keep making progress next year!

  • I kept my job at the university, AND swapped my hours to something more sensible! I wasn't sure I was gonna make it, but I did! And I'm still doing the odd shift at public libraries, even if I have worked at my theoretical base library since like February!

  • I have a new great-nephew! He is SO TINY and cute, except when he's being loud!

  • I went to conventions and met up with cool people and learned SO MUCH! I had a great time, thank you so much everyone I saw this year!

  • Went swimming pretty much every week! This was a goal I honestly expected to fail out of at the end of February, but nope, I managed it, I did in fact go swimming on a semi-regular basis! I've had to drop the Aquafit class because of the change in my work schedule, but it's been nice to go and blitz through the pool for half an hour or whatever. I don't know if it's making me any healthier, but... I'm doing the exercise! And also eating meals more regularly now! That's nice too! I still have trouble telling whether or not I'm hungry so I go off routine or what time it is more often than I don't, but also I've actually managed to retrain myself into FEELING HUNGER, it's so weird! ... I don't know if that counts as an achievement, being able to feel hunger is ridiculous.

  • I started knitting in the new year (I think?) and I'm still doing it! I have made SO MANY THINGS this year, including a sock (yes, just the one), some Mass Effect gloves, a Totoro toy, two sharks, a narwhal, a big gay shawl, a blanket... SO MANY THINGS! I have a hobby that I enjoy and have no plans of making into a second job! I have a SKILL, which is blowing my mind – I have LEVELLED UP, I know so many different ways of casting on and debugging patterns and following charts! I feel like a wizard!

  • I wrote SO MUCH this year! According to my spreadsheet, it's about 400,000 words, which sounds a little too high considering I spent three months over the summer being a potato who couldn't stomach doing words, but... I still wrote SO MANY WORDS!
    • Some of the words were ACTUALLY FIC! Not as many as I wanted, but I have fic drafts that I can fix up in the new year, and I'm so excited!

    • I finished Nanowrimo! For the first time ever! WHAAAAAAAAT!

    • I got better at writing reviews and actually posting them! Some of them I even managed to schedule in advance! I still have too many reviews to write and too many unreviewed ARCs because apparently I'm trash like that, but... I'm getting better! Slowly but steadily!

    • I'm honestly not sure whether this is mostly due to fixing the anxiety (eventually; see also three months being a potato), or due to finally getting a 4thewords account and going wild on tiny beasties, or just that I actually have somewhere that I can do work outside of the house that I go to every day! Either way, it's great and I approve wholeheartedly.

  • On the organisation front: apparently the public accountability posts I did at the start of the year were too much effort to keep going, but I think they did the job they had to of making me DO THE THINGS. I've changed up my regular diary a bit (from day-per-page to week-on-four-pages), although I'm still stickering like a bastard, and I THINK I'm almost ready to switch back to a diary that doesn't track what I'm doing by hour! (Tracking stuff by the hour was REALLY GOOD for my anxiety, because it helped me to convince myself that I don't actually have any spare time that I could have used to do More Things, but I think by the time that I'm done with these diary pages I might be able to switch to a slightly less intensive system.). I've also switched up my writing diary so that I can just see a list of the deadlines I have to worry about! I feel a lot better for it, because now I can just work my way down a to-do list and blitz things, which is apparently a LOT better for my brain. I guess I'll report back on how all of this works out?

  • I read SO MANY BOOKS! The count on GoodReads is 189, which is just... So many...? I think most of it was manga, but I've not actually tallied up all of my reading yet so I'm not sure. ... I think I've just consumed a LOT of good media this year, which surprises me because if you'd asked me at the start of the year I would have said that I didn't have time for anything, let alone good stuff.

  • Aaaaaaaaaaand I think I'm proud of my roleplaying in [profile] hardlyaverage's Pathfinder game, because I've managed to make a character with an actual personality who does stupid but interesting things and helps to actively find the plot and move it forwards! What! Is! This! I'm not used to it!

... I feel like I've forgotten something HUGE here but if I have, I honestly don't remember it. I have my humans, and I have my schemes, and I'm honestly pretty happy with just that? FEEL FREE TO COME BY AND TELL ME ABOUT GREAT THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO YOU THIS YEAR, OKAY?
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