spindizzy: (What was once)
[personal profile] spindizzy
Hey everyone! This was going to be two separate posts, and the one from October was going to go live, uh... In October... And then I kinda fell over at the end of the month and never finished it for ??? reasons ??? so here! Here are two separate round-ups of the last two months of my life mashed into one post! ... Literally, I am just copy-pasting them into one post because changing tenses is hard work and also I was apparently really excited about my birthday and it seemed mean to edit that out.


Hello my darlings! I've been busy this month because IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY MONTH!
  • First and second of the month, [twitter.com profile] stubacca01 and I ran away to the Lake District to look at Roman forts and be bamboozled by sheep! The forts were really cool - there's one in Hardknott Pass that is HUGE, all that's left is the foundations and maybe three foot of wall, but it's the walls and foundations of the ENTIRE FORT! And I got to hear about Roman emperors from after the era I studied, which is ALWAYS good storytime (I THINK it was Justinian II, who got exiled from his own empireTWICE.). There are pictures on twitter, and [twitter.com profile] stubacca01 is probably gonna put some on Flickr!

  • Then it was Lex's birthday, which kinda went well for him because he got a day off and got to cuddle and play Magic, but also he was sick as a dog, so it wasn't exactly great!

  • The day after one of our friends came up to visit, which was really nice! We didn't do a lot that visit - talking, boardgames, and him and Lex playing Stellaris while I worked on my 100 Babies challenge in The Sims 4, with a short break to go swimming and somehow manage forty lengths. It was good to see him!
    • (The 100 babies challenge is exactly what it sounds like - try to have 100 babies in as few generations as possible without repeating the same... Sperm donor I guess? I'm on eleven out of a hundred, but it's been fun so far!)

    • Stellaris sounds like it has a lot of fun nonsense in it, but also there are TOO MANY MENUS for me to play it, so I mainly follow along the story bits and advocate for befriending space dragons.

  • Then it was my birthday! It was really nice and peaceful - there was cake and books and cuddles, which is all I require for a good birthday! (We did end up watching Predator, and WOW that was a bad movie. SO BAD.)

  •   My pseudotwin's birthday is on the same day as mine, and he got me an amazing knitting bag (and a yarn bowl!) Which is uhhhhhhh overflowing at the moment, oops. BUT I did decide to knit him a blanket out of sheer madness and hope, I guess, so I spent eleven days knitting squares on 25mm knitting needles (yes, those are huge, and yes I ended up knitting two strands of super chunky at a time to get a thick enough wool)! It ended up being a slightly wonky blanket because while I THOUGHT I had blocked everything properly... Maybe I didn't leave them pinned out long enough? Also I was really worried that it wasn't going to be any bigger than a lap blanket but it kinda... Grew... So now he has a respectably sized blanket! He says it is warm, and that's the important thing.

  • I watched SO MANY TRASHY ACTION MOVIES while working on that blanket btw! The list includes Ultraviolet, Pitch Black, Doom, the first five Resident Evil movies, American Ultra, the entire Blade Trilogy, and Priest. Also about four hours of reading Jordan L. Hawk's Hexmaker while I knitted, because apparently romance novels on my ereader are what my brain can cope with while I knit.

  • (I need to start listening to audiobooks while I knit, but I usually play emotionless video games while I do that, and also my library's ebook selection doesn't quite have the right ratio of queer trash to het nonsense OR fantasy to crime that I look for in my book selections.) (Also apparently when I say mindless video games, what I've been meaning is emotionless, because I want games that keep my brain busy but require no emotional investment on my part. Okay!

  • [personal profile] scarimonious visited and it was excellent! We ate SO MUCH FOOD, roamed Nottingham, and petted SO MANY CATS, because there is a cat café in Nottingham that we went to. THEY HAVE MAINE COONS, THEY ARE SO CUTE AND FLUFFY AND HUGE!

  • Chris (Token Straight White Dude Who Recs Me Media) and I started playing The Return of the Obra Dinn together (and later roped Lex in like good friends), which was a lot of fun! It's a murder mystery on a ghost ship involving time travel, and it was essentially a very nicely laid-out logic puzzle.

  • Work had a bake-off! I made cinnamon roll(o)s, which is what I called the cinnamon lava cookies I made off an Anna Olson recipe after deciding that making my own caramel was for suckers and rolos were fine too, and I came third! \o/ That's pretty good, I think!

  • There's a craft group at work, and I went along for the first time! It was really weird (I like my work friends, but also... I don't know how I feel about socialising with them when we're not at work?), but it was pretty relaxing and I got to belt through a few more rows of my doom shawl. ... Also apparently I'm co-hosting it now, because this is somehow my life.

  • Also I started listening to Productivity Alchemy because I was working at a different part of campus doing data entry for a few days and... Wow. They had an entire bit on people channelling their anxiety disorders into productivity and I spent that entire section staring blankly at my screen going "... I feel called out but also helped????"

  • ... I marathoned all of Castlevania (again) while knitting a big gay rainbow shawl and I'm genuinely not sorry. There's a few bits where I'm like "Oh Warren Ellis no," but I was enjoying my OT3 enough that I kept rolling with it. It was fun! Needed more of Trevor, Sypha and Alucard, but I still really enjoyed it.


  • So, uh, I decided that I was gonna do fake Nano this year. The one where you try to write 50,000 words of fiction, but it doesn't have to be all the same project? It's what I usually switch to halfway through writing Nano when I get to the "Oh god what are words, how I make them go?" stage of it.

    .... And then I kinda won Nano like a week early? While also managing to take breaks to do Not Writing Things, complete a transcript for [twitter.com profile] fangirlpod, and write up reaction shots of three separate Resident Evil movies. IS THIS WHAT HAVING A FUNCTIONAL BRAIN FEELS LIKE. IS THIS HOW THE PEOPLE WHO AREN'T MENTALLY ILL MANAGE ALL THE TIME?! This is amazing and terrifying and I don't know how I feel about it, but hey! I can win fake Nano! Maybe next year I can win real Nano!
    • (I would like to credit this victory entirely to 4thewords and Jill sending me drawings of motivational beasties, because they are SUPER CUTE and I love them. But also apparently having monsters to defeat is just easier for me? Because the part of me that has been playing RPGs since I was like ten just goes "OH, OH I can do this! Beating monsters is what we're good at!" and that overrides the anxiety part of my brain screaming "LOOK AT WHAT YOU'RE WRITING, WE CAN'T DO THIS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU MUST STOP IMMEDIATELY!")

    • The things that I wrote with the most words attached:
      •  An in-character diary for my 4tw avatar (look, my brain was very tired and I needed to write about someone who was ALSO super sick of the 3000 word monsters that I had to fight FIVE of, because WHAT, and also to squee about the cute outfits without clogging up [personal profile] squeemu and [twitter.com profile] captainraz.)
      •  Castlevania nonsense of which fully HALF was super NSFW OT3 fic that happened to be written out of order because I was too mortified to write it properly

      • the "super early 00s sff western but with queer people, mechs, a robot dog, and the love interest is ten thousand nanites in a trench coat" story (which is fun but obviously nonsense)

      • Bioshock Infinite (I??? Don't know??? But I suddenly remembered Burial at Sea existed and apparently wanted to channel a lot of my dad feels into Elizabeth???)
      • My "angry magical girl knitting circle story" which started life as a magical cyberpunk boarding school story with unethical science experiments, and is now kinda going a bit haywire (now there are androids! And monsters! And I have no idea how this is my life!

  • I did finish the big gay shawl... And then accidentally cast it off too tight so the end kinda scallops. I need to decide whether I want to see if blocking fixes it, or if unpicking it and adding more wool and casting off more loosely works, but the idea of doing either is kinda... Ugh... I've switched to doing my Christmas knitting while I decide, which means that I have all of the wool for at least one shark and half a dozen scarves, but am instead crocheting a welcome back totoro for my work friend who is off ill. (I finished making the body! And now I just need to make the ears and arms and things!

  • Had fun in therapy, because my therapist got around to the "Let's talk about your family!" stage of therapy and I'm like "Uggggggh okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay" because my family is drama all the way down, and it somehow culminated in my talking about my dad and this guy who never met my dad going "He sounds like a bully. It sounds like he was bullying you." I still have no idea how to react to that, and even less to Lex's reaction, which was "I am not saying anything about this, very deliberately, because I don't want to say something that can't be unsaid." APPARENTLY THIS IS A THING. APPARENTLY THIS HAS BEEN A THING THIS WHOLE TIME AND I JUST NEVER KNEW.

  • We've started a campaign of Betrayal Legacy, which is INTERESTING. No spoilers, but it does some interesting things with the legacy format and the Haunted Escher nature of the house. I'm enjoying it! It's more structured than regular Betrayal, so that works for me and my desire for MORE STORIES.

  • (I am currently in a bit of a rut where the idea of consuming NEW stories sounds awful, btw, but I'm gonna try my usual slide of fanfic -> manga I've read before -> new-to-me shoujo manga -> queer romances -> things that are none of the above to see if that fixes me.)

  • [twitter.com profile] captainraz and I dyed my hair purple! It was mainly Tonks! But my hair was still purple and it's kinda nice! It's faded a little to a sort of "dusky pink" and I'm okay with that? I kept being a bit surprised when I looked in the mirror, but now that it's faded a bit I'm just like "Ah yes, that is me, of course it's me," so I guess I just can't wrap my head around having dark hair.

  • I am considering starting to put stickers in my diary whenever I have an interaction with a customer that makes me happy, because a lot of our customers are nice! And it might be good for my anxiety to be like "Look, you can't be too awful because you have three smiley face stickers here, which means that three customers were nice today!" and apparently that's what I need.
  • Speaking of work: this month's bake-off theme was vegan bakes, so I made cookie dough truffles, which were HORRIBLE to make at first because I followed the instructions and refrigerated the first batch instead of freezing them (I learned from THAT mistake), but once I'd got them to the point where I could poor molten chocolate over them without them falling off the skewer, it was fine! And I saw one of the judges sneaking back for seconds in direct contravention of the rules, so I think I did okay!
    • Last month I was literally the only person to write ingredients on the box my baking was in, despite half my colleagues having dietary restrictions, and this month it is now an official part of the rules! With a little form and everything! I feel like I accomplished something here.

  • So... That's me! That's what I've been up to in the last two months! HOW ARE YOU ALL, please tell me how you're doing!