Dec. 5th, 2018

spindizzy: (Long way down)
 Hello my darlings! I am INCREDIBLY tired! I have successfully managed to change my hours at work (essentially getting a new job, because it's a new contract that means I don't accrue leave but DO get university holidays off, so swings and roundabouts I guess.), which is nice because yay more money and working the same hours every day! Boo because now I have to get up at six in the morning, and I am SO TIRED. My hours start next week, but I'm trying to scale my sleep cycle back far enough that I can actually, y'know, be functional in the morning when my hours change. It suuuuuuuuuuuucks. But on the plus side, apparently mornings have a little less customer interaction but a little more jobs that you can just work through to fill your shift than the afternoon or evening shifts, so this could be really good for me and my anxiety? Plus: afternoons off!

[ profile] splend and I have finally finished Beyond: Two Souls, by which I mean we spent like four hours cursing Rabid Rage's name to hell and back for this racist nonsense that he put together where you can't NOT kiss the creepy white dude. Next up: Life is Strange! We're probably gonna have to think REALLY fast to agree on decisions there, but it's fine! We will figure something out. (We really just need to start making a list of media we're gonna blitz together, because we have a lot of fun doing that! ... Also it's Sam's turn to pick the movies because he was Not Happy during Resident Evil 6.)

Um... What else is going on with me? Not much, to be honest. I'm kinda gearing back up into an end-of-year frenzy of words and crafting, because I have A BUNCH of Christmas presents to make (How many? SO MANY.) and I started a little too late. But it's fine! It's fine! I am being sure to pace myself and drink lots of water and take breaks, it's fine. Plus I have a delivery of SAFETY EYES waiting for me at home when I get back, so that's going to be exciting! I've got as far as I could get in one project without them, so the timing's pretty great. And I'm replaying Bioshock Infinite, because apparently Elizabeth is the person I'm in the mood for. Maybe I will achieve my plan of going through it in the order that SEEMS to be correct for maximum surprises (Bioshock Infinite, Bioshock, Bioshock 2, Burial at Sea. BURIAL AT SEA IS THE ONE I'M EXCITED FOR, OKAY, BECAUSE ELIZABETH.) I think I'm getting the balance right of "Must hit this deadline aaaaaaaaah!" to breaks that mean I'm not cramming at the deadline, so... Progress?

On that topic, apparently my christmas present from my doctor was validation that I've made progress and I've come a long way, considering that back in... April? I was convinced that I was never going to get better and that my anxiety was all that I was ever going to be, and now I'm treating my anxiety and slowly figuring out who I am underneath it! It turns out that when I'm not self-sabotaging myself, I'm actually kinda confident? Still not always good at judging what I can get done in the time available to me, but better than I was before I started treatment. It's weird! And kinda cool! And I hope that the new Susan is someone cool as well, because I put a lot of effort into making her!

But yeah, I've got nothing. Christmas plans are still a bit up in the air and need some hardcore wrangling, and I still have a couple more presents that I need to make and/or buy, but... It's fine. It feels doable. (I'll report back in a week or so as to whether it actually WAS doable!) How are you all doing? Are you all okay?