- There is something about January/February that just knocks me and my productivity for six. I have had a cold and the worst PMT I remember having in a while, which took me down for two weeks, but I remember being a disgrace this time last year as well. Come on Susan, pull yourself together, you can do this.
- I need to write up my notes from the talk me, hardlyaverage and envexenveritas went to on Pink Triangle prisoners in the Third Reich, which was... It was... Like, I thought I was okay? I took a lot of notes? And then after the talk finished I actually looked at the words that I'd written and just started shaking. That evening was a lot of "queer penguins huddling together for safety against an uncaring universe" ngl.
- I have started playing FFXV (thank you stubacca01 for lending me your copy!), got about three chapters in, and it's... I don't know if it makes sense without seeing Kingsglaive, quite frankly, because anything happening in Insomnia isn't covered by the game so far, and so far for the first three chapters, it's barely acknowledged that there's a war on. I don't know if I'm supposed to be so far out into the backend of beyond that no one is affected, but...
(Kingsglaive doesn't stand on its own either; Lunafreya spends a lot of time talking about her "duty" but never mentions what that is, and then you get to the game and go "Oh, well that would have taken all of thirty seconds to explain in the film." On the plus side, the early fight scenes are BEAUTIFUL and King Sean Bean is very pretty, even if he's a terrible king.)
I do like the guys? I'm three chapters in and they only have the barest scrapings of personality so far, but what there is is great. ... Apart from that one conversation with Ignis where it's just him and Noctis making cooking puns CONSTANTLY. Also NO ONE TALK TO ME ABOUT CINDY, I AM SO PISSED ABOUT HER FUCKING OUTFIT.
I think FFXV kinda does the thing that FFXII did, where there is enough optional stuff to do and ground to cover between plot missions that it's really hard to remember what the fucking plot is. Maybe it'll even up a bit as I finally purge flans from this fucking country once and for all. Or maybe the evil empire will stop fucking DROPPING ROBOTS ON ME, THAT'D BE FUCKING SWELL YOU GUYS.
- I am reading so many books and it's nice! And then I go "Oh god, I am behind on everything!" because my writing time and my reading time are the same pool of time! ... This is probably why I am failing at things.
- I have swapped my week per page diary out for a day per page, and I don't know if it's the novelty or actually having defined times to write things down and wanting to record exact progress with my books, but I have been using my diary a lot more! madebyjenni got me functional-yet-adorable stickers. (I am burning through these book stickers at a rate of knots, and these dice ones are marking my games.) I got so excited that I went and bought myself more because I actually have SPACE to put them in this diary! THIS IS PROBABLY A MISTAKE. BUT IT IS A REALLY CUTE MISTAKE THAT WILL PROBABLY LEAD TO MANY STICKERS ALL OVER MY DIARY.
- I think I goofed up at work because I didn't finish a task I was given and forgot to write the explanatory note ("I have no idea where these go and didn't want to guess because we'd never see them again.")
- ... I'm sorry I'm complaining so much, everyone, my brain is doing the "You are a failure!" dance, and I KNOW better than to pay attention to it. I know that once I get back to finishing things I am going to feel so much better, it's just the finishing things when I feel low bit that's difficult.
It'll be fine, I'm just at the "But what if I sit quietly in a corner under a blanket and stare at the wall" part of winter. Regular service will resume when I start being able to tick boxes again.