spindizzy: A picture of Deadpool in mask and tuxedo, shrugging. (Fourth wall? What fourth wall?)
[personal profile] spindizzy
Hey everyone! Last Wednesday I went to see a triple bill of all of the Captain America movies that ended with a midnight showing of Civil War, and I have Opinions! The Sparkle Rocket team have been asking nicely if people not even give them a "I liked it!" or "I didn't like it!" because they want to go in cold (or at least that was the impression I got? Apologies if I'm misrepresenting that), so I've been keeping my public access opinions to variations on "*INTENSE SCREAMING*" because that's fairly neutral! But also I need to vent, so GUYS BEHIND THE CUT IS NOTHING BUT SPOILERS, SCREAMING, AND AN OLD-SCHOOL REACTION SHOT THE LIKES OF WHICH I HAVEN’T ATTEMPTED IN YEARS. PROBABLY WITH BONUS FIC LINKS BECAUSE I AM A BENEVOLENT... No, no I'm not, let's not finish that.

(For those who are new to this game: reaction shots are essentially how I used to livetweet before twitter was a thing. It is going to be a long bullet point list, hope y'all like those. Also, this is based entirely on my spotty memory, so I may have to do a follow-up post when I go and see it again next week?)

... So yeah, MASSIVE SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT, ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK.

  • THIS WAS A BETTER AVENGERS MOVIE THAN EITHER OF THE ACTUAL AVENGERS MOVIES, HOLY SHIT!
    • Like, legit, anyone who ever tries to defend Joss Whedon on the grounds of "He had a lot to tie together in those movies!" is now fired, because look! The Russos managed it and didn't drop half the fucking plot threads or characterisation from the previous movies!

    • It seriously tied into everything else so well, I was so relieved.

    • I'm not even joking, I was fully prepared for this movie to continue the fine trend of the last few movies of not being my thing, and then a minute into the film there was A GODDAMN TEAM being COMPETENT and TALKING TO EACH OTHER in ways consistent with their characters and TEACHING WANDA ABOUT BEING ON A SPY/MILITARY OP, BECAUSE SHE HASN'T BEEN DOING THIS AS LONG AND DOESN'T HAVE THEIR BACKGROUND aaaaaaaaaaah yes. It was like I could finally relax, because the movie wasn't trying to punch me in the face in the first five minutes!

    • (BTW this wasn't the movie I thought I was getting from the trailers, at all, which could be because I avoided all of the promo materials for this film like they had the plague, or could be because of good trailers. IDK.)

  • *anguished noises about Bucky, especially the fact that they had to keep brainwashing him* Like, I was there going "Are these the phrases to ensure compliance or are these the test as to whether the electrocution has worked or – oh god, oh god Bucky no."

  • "Ready to comply." *SCREAMS*

  • I was legit there going "Oh no, I know who died in a car accident PLEASE GOD LET MARVEL NOT DO THIS TO ME" and no, they did. Also, holy shit, he pushed with his metal arm and drove it off the road, that's terrifying.

  • SAM HAS SHINY NEW ARMOUR, FUCK YEAH! And his little robot bird is really cute! I was wondering if they were going to bring that into the movies!

  • I really wish we'd got the miniseries/WWII movie about the Howling Commandos where we watched Steve actually get his tactical skills. Or the knowledge to go "A bin lorry full to capacity? IT'S A RAM RAID." (Also, I want the story where Steve and the Howling Commandos fill a car/van/tank with literally every possible weight they can and use it as a ram. The French dude would TOTES fill it with explosives for extra bang-for-their-buck. ... OH GOD I JUST SAW WHAT I DID THERE FUCK ME SIDEWAYS.)

  • RUMLOW HI I'M REALLY GLAD SOMEONE TOLD ME THAT YOU WERE PLAYING CROSSBONES OR I WOULD HAVE BEEN SO FUCKING CONFUSED BY YOUR CONTINUED SURVIVAL! You are 100% correct, you look pretty good for a neo-nazi who got a helicarrier dropped on their face!

  • I am really impressed by the teamwork when it comes to beating the shit out of dudes and trying to mitigate problems! I really like it when the team does well together, especially when the entire... Point of the film... Is that the team is competent and gets broken up... I AM ADMIRING THE CRAFTSMANSHIP, OKAY. But yes, Wanda setting up dudes for Sam to kick in the face is A+.

  • (Oh man, I love doing reaction shots on the computer so much more than on paper. If I have a new thought, I can just fill in my new thought and go back to the old one when I'm done! I HAVE MISSED YOU, WRITING BULLET-POINT OPINIONS THAT DON'T NEED TO FOLLOW ON LOGICALLY LIKE AN ESSAY, PLEASE NEVER LEAVE!)

  • Uh, Wanda? What sort of gas is that? Is it really the sort of gas that you should be dispersing into the atmosphere above a civilian population? ... I ASSUME IT'S FINE. (The visual effects of Wanda using her powers though! They make me happy!

  • Okay, but Nat and Sam teaming up to get the vial of... Mystery Infectious Biohazard #3 (Did they ever say what that is?) was excellent. I really like the idea of Black Widow and Falcon pairing up in general, whether it's platonically or romantically, and [twitter.com profile] hardlyaverage is just like "Susan, Susan shush with your nonsense."

  • "Uh-uh, don't thank me."
    "I am not thanking the robot."
    "His name is Redwing."

  • Oh god, internet, what gets me about the scene where Wanda is trying to contain Rumlow is... Actually, no, multiple things get me.
    1. It is so clearly an accident that it's painful? Like, maybe I'm remembering a thing that didn't happen, but I've got it in my head that Wanda was trying to move him up so that when he exploded he'd be above the buildings? But then her hands/control slipped and... Eleven people dead. But her face when it goes wrong, oh Wanda honey no.

    2. This film is really clear from the upfront that it's dealing with the civilian casualties and collateral damage that comes with the Avengers' activities, and yes! That is exactly what I wanted from AoU and didn't get! But it establishes that right from the opening scenes and I am in awe.

  • I am not sure how I feel about Tony performing his trauma and regrets for an audience of students. Like, technologically that's amazing, but that must be intensely uncomfortable for both Tony and his audience. IF IT HELPS, THOUGH, TONY, YOU DO YOU. ... Plus I like the idea that Tony is actually getting help with his trauma? Like, I assume he is? He's not just faking it with tech again? ... I could absolutely believe that Tony would fix it with tech because that was the plot of IM3, but he has grown as a person since then.

  • THE HILARIOUS THING IS, we were talking about our ships before the film started and [twitter.com profile] hardlyaverage was like "Black Pepper, 100%!" and I'm there going "Look, I am not breaking up my canon ship, not even for Black Widow." And then we got to this scene, and both of my friends simultaneously leaned around and patted my shoulders because MY SHIP BROKE UP. Also, kudos for how well they handled that little reveal.

  • Oh god that scene at the lift. Oh no. Oh no, no one could leave that scene happy, I'm so sorry everyone. ;_; ESPECIALLY YOU, LADY WHO HAS LOST YOUR SON. I'M SO SORRY.

  • I have just realised the ramifications of showing a black American woman actually getting to confront the white guy she holds responsible for killing her son and have him understand how badly he fucked up, holy shit Marvel. Also what the fuck, me, why could I not see this before?!

  • OKAY, in less depressing news, I love Wanda's room. I'm sad about the circumstances in which we get to see it, but Wanda making her bare white room feel homey, I approve.

  • *Vision walks through wall*
    "Vision, we talked about this!"
    "The door was open!"

  • Why Steve is my favourite: he can see the footage is upsetting Wanda, and he stops it. Not because it's bothering him, necessarily, but because it's hurting Wanda.

  • What I really like is that the movie is very clear that both sides have a point. Even though Steve and Tony are handling it fucking badly, they are both right. Tony is right! Having a vigilante outfit running around the globe throwing down wherever and not sticking around to deal with the clean-up leads to death and civilian casualties, and maybe they need someone to oversee them! Steve is right! They need the flexibility to be able to respond to situations quickly and without the amount of different agendas that come with international governmental oversight! I think if they'd actually had that debate without two of Steve's literal oldest friends shaking his emotional equilibrium like a pop bottle, maybe they could have found a middle ground! *flails*

  • Okay, but that bit where Tony is being very Tony even though he's upset – chatting casually, and BY THE WAY, this kid! Is dead because of us! ;_;

  • Jarvis in his jumpers and button-up shirts is kinda awesome, he can stay.

  • OKAY, but Natasha siding with Tony is awesome, especially because he can't believe it either. She thought she knew whose lies she was telling! This is a really good way to be sure!

  • Was about to snark at how of course Black Widow had to side with Tony, otherwise there'd be two women on one team and we can't have that!" and then I was maybe pleased that they hadn't had a chick fight AND THEN I remembered Wanda throwing Natasha around and I'm back to being snarky.

  • OKAY I am pretty sure that sink was full and didn't cover the guy's nostrils, was it just the angle of his head? I wasn't sure how that was expected to drown him. (ALSO HI I HAD TO COME BACK AT THE END I FILL IN THE ZEMO BITS BECAUSE I LITERALLY GAVE ZERO FUCKS ABOUT ZEMO.)

  • I like that the movie showed him practicing the words to fuck up Bucky though, that was a nice touch.

  • PEGGY.
    • PEGGY NO.

    • PEGGYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

    • (We saw this movie with a straight white American dude and he was just like "Eh" about Peggy's death and we NEARLY SAVAGED HIM.)

    • Oh of course Steve is her pallbearer. ;______;

    • That face when the last girl you asked out is the niece of the first girl you asked out. THAT WAS THE FACE OF A MAN WHO REGRETTED THINGS, OKAY.

    • The "No. You move." line is my favourite Captain America quote pretty much ever (except maybe for that one time with the "THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I WEAR ARMOUR!"), so having them give it to Peggy? Who Steve always listened to and trusted to know what was right? HELL YES I AM HERE FOR THAT.

    • Natasha coming after the funeral so that Steve wouldn't be alone! *sobs*

  • I really like that Sharon has a job! And she's good at it! I am really sad that she essentially shat on her career for Steve Rogers, but... No. You move. ;_; Also April was apparently the month of "What the fuck is the CIA doing in Europe GO HOME AMERICA YOU'RE DRUNK" because I forget that maybe they're allowed to do that.

  • You know when you look at a character and go "You are the loveliest, sweetest person in this film and I can see the refrigerator they're wheeling in for you"? Yeah, had that with T'Challa's dad. THEY LOOKED SO HAPPY AND LIKE THEY WERE SUCH A CLOSE FAMILY. ;_______;

  • Soooooooooo do we ship Nat/T'Challa? Is that a thing we're okay with? They're both good at politics and murdering the shit out of people!

  • AS SOON AS THE MOVIE WAS LIKE "IT WAS TOTALLY THE WINTER SOLDIER!" I WAS THERE LIKE "NO IT FUCKING WASN'T WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME FILM?!" *claws at face*

  • OKAY, but Bucky living happily in Romania in his bare little apartment, putting his life back together, buying food and smiling at people. ;_______: PROTIP THAT IS PROBABLY THE HAPPIEST YOU ARE DOING TO SEE HIM IN THIS MOVIE.

  • I love Sharon and stand by how she deserves better than she gets here. SHE SAVES STEVE'S ASS SO MUCH.

  • Okay, but the entire scene with Bucky doing an escape was A+. "I don't do that anymore," he says, and proceeds to non-lethally take down like twenty guys while Steve watches/helps. Like, he obviously had that escape planned out, and augh Bucky. ;_______________;

  • OKAY but T'Challa in that tunnel though.

  • (I am kinda "...?" about Wakandans worshipping Egyptian gods, but this is mainly because I thought that Wakanda was on like the opposite coast to Egypt. I GUESS READING THE COMICS WOULD HELP.)
  • My sexuality might be Bucky doing that one-handed grab-flip of the motorbike, because I am here for that.

  • Tony trying SO HARD for a peaceful resolution to this problem! Trying to make it just a PR/paperwork problem even though it's a fundamental difference in ideologies! Also Tony and Steve bonding over family. ;_____; I think I like this version of Tony, it feels like maturity has finally found him and slapped him over the back of the head with a clue-by-four.

  • I think this movie did a lot better with Pepper than Age of Ultron did! Even though she's not there, she clearly has character and agency and her leaving has clearly done a number on Tony in regards to "Look at my life, look at my choices." And while I liked Tony and Thor bonding over how great their girlfriends are, this had Tony acknowledging that Pepper is great but also that their relationship isn't necessarily great because there is A LOT GOING ON THERE. Especially because the film actually deals with Iron Man 3, which AoU kinda... Felt like it was ignoring?

  • Okay, but Vision trying to cook even though he hasn't tasted food before. I for one am in favour of the Avengers taking him under their wing the same way they did Steve and going "You have to try this food!" instead of pop culture.

  • I like Vision, I'm... Not sure how I feel about Vision/Wanda? But they can relate about magic stuff and they seem to get on well! And bless his heart he is the most awkward panda. "OR WE COULD ORDER PIZZA."

  • "Vision, are you trying to stop me leaving?" Augh, auuuuugh.

  • PLEASE DON'T PUT BUCKY IN A BOX NO WHY IS HE IN A BOX DO YOU FUCKERS NOT BELIEVE IN EVIDENCE HE WAS A GODDAMN GHOST ASSASSIN DO YOU REALLY THINK HE'D HAVE BEEN THAT OBVIOUS I APPRECIATE THE GHOST ASSASSIN THING IS WHY HE'S IN A BOX BUT COME ON GUYS. COME ON.

  • I was literally there whispering "No no no no no no no no no no no no" from the instant that Zemo walked into the room with Bucky. HE DOESN'T DO THAT ANY MORE, LEAVE HIM ALONE, STOP HURTING HIM YOU BASTARD AND STOP MAKING HIM HURT OTHER PEOPLE!

  • Everything about the scene post-brainwashing was awful and painful and I didn't want it. ;_; Especially Tony trying to step to the Winter Soldier with just a glove! NO TONY THAT'S HOW YOU DIE. ESPECIALLY STEVE TRYING TO BRUTE FORCE A GODDAMN HELICOPTER OH MY GOD STEVE WHAT IS YOUR LIFE.

  • I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE WITH STEVE FISHING BUCKY OUT OF A RIVER, I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE.

  • OKAY, hands up everyone who was like "Your wife and/or son is dead" as soon as they heard that voice mail. *raises hand*

  • "Which Bucky am I dealing with?"
    "Your mom's name was Sarah."
    ;______________________________;

  • FIC REC BREAK: Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail by [archiveofourown.org profile] owlet (Bucky accidentally reprograms himself to protect Steve and tries to go back to being a human being, with a few detours through Starbucks.) Through Smoke, Solid Ground by [archiveofourown.org profile] magdaliny (Bucky rips off the arm and gets adopted by Sam, Clint and Natasha. In that order.)

  • I AM NOT OKAY WITH A GROUP OF WINTER SOLDIERS, THAT IS SUPREMELY NOT OKAY. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE FROM THAT FLASHBACK THEY'RE ALL AS GOOD AS THE WINTER SOLDIER, IF NOT BETTER.

  • It was really weird watching this film and being like "I HAVE READ THE SLIGHTLY MORE DEPRESSING AND/OR QUEER AND/OR MORE LADY-FOCUSED VERSION OF THIS FIC!

  • Speaking of: FIC REC BREAK: I'll Build a House Inside of You by [archiveofourown.org profile] Magdaliny (Natasha in the Red Room, being raised by the Winter Soldier.)

  • PUT THAT WOMAN DOWN STEVE. Like, I swear to fuck I could hear the movie-makers being like "Shit, shit, this movie pretty much has Captain America declaring that Bucky Barnes matters more to him than the actual literal fate of the world, AFIRM HETEROSEXUALITY QUICK!" The only thing that made it better was Bucky and Sam sitting in the car like "Look at our little Steve all grown up."
    • I am wondering what their reaction would have been to the "No, it was not my first kiss since 1945! I'm 95, not dead."

  • I wonder how Wanda would have come down on the Sorkovia Accords if Tony had actually talked to her instead of locking her in her room to "protect" her. ("You dragged her away from a place that she doesn't even want to leave!" Tony yells at Cap, and I'm there like "HOW DO YOU KNOW TONY, YOU WEREN'T EVEN THERE, YOU JUST SET VISION ON HER LIKE A FUCKING WATCH DOG." Tony, Tony this is why you and Pepper aren't together anymore. Your PTSD makes you forget that people have the right to make choices about their safety too.)

  • T'Challa's bodyguard is amazing and in that moment T'Challa was all of us who wanted to see that fight.

  • OKAY BUT THE FACT THAT THEY USE THE WINTER SOLDIER THEME FOR ALL SIX OF THEM IS JUST AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  • See, while the fact that Clint is the functioning adult of this team is HILARIOUS, I still really want him to be Wanda's cool dad? And they can look out for each other and Wanda can be very alarmed about being allowed near his children and Clint can continue being The Only Sane Man about her problems. This fic exists, right internet?

  • OF COURSE CLINT HAS ARROWS THAT HE CAN USE TO STOP VISION. OF COURSE HE DOES.

  • Oh god, was that Vision looking betrayed by Wanda putting him down? Nooooooooooooo *wails into night*

  • Like, I swear to fuck this generic brown-haired white dude got out of the van and I HAD NO IDEA WHO HE WAS. I was straight-up running through every other brown-haired white dude in the franchise, including Crossbones before he opened his mouth and I was like "OH, you're ANT-MAN!" ... I feel justified in never having seen that movie. WHERE WAS WASP?!

  • Spiderman was... Okay? I guess? I would still have really preferred him to be Miles Morales, but I guess new!modern!tiny!Steve will do? Because I'm pretty sure they just went "What if Peter Parker was pre-serum Steve with access to the internet and ADD?" and rolled with it. He's cute? I'm glad they didn't bother with his origins? I still don't give a fuck about Spiderman?

  • The big fight was okay? I like that they had plans and schemes and counter schemes for each other! And how this was the fight where we got to have all of the jokes and things because everything after this is depressing as absolute fuck!

  • NATASHA THOUGH. NATASHA. And she once asked Steve if he trusted her to save his life, and LOOK, LOOK WHERE IT GOT THEM. *sobs*

  • I get that Tony was upset, but Jesus Fucking Christ Tony Stark.
    1. Sam was not the one who hurt Rhodey. That was Vision.

    2. I have it in my head that Sam was a god damn medic. GOOD JOB TONY YOU JUST BLASTED THE FIRST RESPONDER SQUARE IN THE FACE, SURE HOPE THAT VALUABLE TIME WHERE SAM COULD HAVE BEEN HELPING HIM WASN'T CRITICAL OR ANYTHING.

    3. Okay, but that blast knocked Rhodey out of the sky. And I know it was a lucky hit and I know it was only so bad because it ruptured the arc reactor, but oh god if that had hit Sam. Sam wasn't wearing armour! If that had taken out his wings then that could have straight up killed him! (I know he had a parachute in his old suit, but my reflexive thing was "Oh god, oh god no.")

      TONY I LOVE YOU BUT FUCKING STOP THAT.

  • Steve trying to reassure Bucky that Hydra made him kill all of those people. "Yeah, but I still did it." *WAILS INTO THE NIGHT FOREVER*

  • Holy shit did they just – stick Wanda in a straight-jacket? And leave her there? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!

  • Clint has the exact correct degree of snark going on with himself here, and I'm glad Sam's the one who's like "FINE."

  • AUGH TENSION AUGH NO AUGH.

  • TONY NO STOP THAT!

  • I can't even with that fight, with those deaths, with Steve having to make a choice and choosing the way we fucking knew he was going to – prioritise saving Bucky, don't kill Tony. Leave him abandoned in Serbia with no way home, sure, but leave him alive. I want to watch the movie again before I attempt to have emotions about that, because I'm stuck on "Steve was trying to not fight Tony, he was trying to buy time for Bucky to get the fuck out of there and Tony wouldn't let it go!" and no matter how justified his reasons, I just felt – no, this is not a fight I want to see, this isn't one I want them to have.

  • You know what the worst part is? Zemo won. He achieved all stated goals, and no has Martin Freeman's character convinced there is a plan that required Zemo to be exactly where he is. But he fractured and discredited the Avengers, he got to watch Tony Stark and Steve Rogers kicking the living shit out of each other, he led them a merry chase – like, if T'Challa had killed Bucky as well? He would have just won everything. Like, I think that's probably because his goals were so personal in scale – he didn't want to end or rule the world, he just wanted to fuck up these six fish in particular, and didn't care how many people had to die for him to do it. And that's terrifying.

  • It's interesting to me that the film didn't do a big set-piece battle to end the film? Like, [twitter.com profile] sithe pointed out that they did have that one fight involving LITERALLY EVERY SUPERHERO CURRENTLY ACTIVE and a few that weren't, but it's like... Compared to the scale of the usual battles, wrecking an airport is nothing. (It is JUST a massive superpowered game of British Bulldog and y'all can fight me on that one.) And everyone walks away from those fights alive, which I think that's interesting and fits into the theme of the film?

  • Like, okay, I might actually finally be able to articulate my problem with the Avengers movie: I couldn't tell you what their theme is. Like, any of the other movies I could probably pick out a few themes and be like "This, this is what the movie is about," whereas with Avengers Assemble and AoU, I'm not sure. I can tell you what happens, I can go "Maybe it's teamwork? Maybe it's 'fear and paranoia lead to poor decisions'" but I don't have that same feeling of everything working towards one central theme that I do from say, Iron Man 3, or from The Winter Soldier. And I guess they're doing different things, but it's still weird to compare and contrast!

  • I like that the movie ends pretty much where Iron Man started – Tony and Rhodey being shits to each other, but with more actual open concern and affection between them? It was so nice to see. ;_; Especially because RHODEY. RHODEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY.

  • I like how the film doesn't even bother EXPLAINING how Steve got into a fucking underwater prison without getting his hair wet. He's Steven Fucking Rogers, of course he got into a fucking underwater prison, IT'S WHAT HE DOES.

  • NO AFTER-CREDITS SCENE, DON'T PUT BUCKY BACK IN A FUCKING BOX, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS. *beats fist against box* Like, I get it, but also NO! SURELY DEPROGRAMMING IS HARDER IF YOU'RE IN A FUCKING CRYO BOX.

  • I still don't care about Peter Parker, bless his tiny job-seeking heart. YOU ARE LIKE TWELVE YOU DON'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT IMPRESSING TONY STARK FOR LIKE ANOTHER FIVE YEARS.
  • IN CONCLUSION: *ENDLESS SOBBING AND SCREAMING FOREVER*

(no subject)

Date: 2016-05-05 07:49 am (UTC)
scarimonious: Agent Coulson - Because he's awesome (Coulson - Awesome)
From: [personal profile] scarimonious
*WAILS IN AGREEMENT ABOUT EVERYTHING*

BUT OKAY, I HAVE A THEORY ABOUT STEVE AND THE PRISON: T'CHALLA. T'Challa was there following Tony and probably had a plan mapped out on how to break in because Wakandan technology and smarts are awesome. So, like, Steve teams up with T'Challa to break into the prison to get everyone out.

(And I also have this weird craving for Clint to stick around determined to win T'Challa over, like in their big fight he's all "Hi, I'm Clint." and T'Challa is just "I don't care." And this has got to be weird for Clint because as much as everyone says they hate him, he know sthey like him. He doesn't know what it's like to be NOT ACTUALLY LIKED BY SOMEONE.)

Also yes to Clint being Wanda's Cool Dad or Big Bro. I'm actually thrilled it was Clint that turned up for Wanda because I'm pretty sure anyone else would have gotten the knife to the head. He believed that she could be an Avenger when the city was flying and killer robots were everywhere, so it makes total sense that he'd be the one to get her out of the compound. I'm pretty sure that if Steve hadn't called them up for the whole team showdown thing, Clint could have spirited her away to elsewhere (IDK, MAYBE TAKEN HER WATERSKIING WITH THE FAM?) and things would...not have gotten so out of hand.

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spindizzy: (Default)
Susan

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Hi! I'm Susan, I write for [community profile] ladybusiness, and I'm currently trying to post at least 100 words of fic every day.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

June 2017

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